Just for context, I have been a regular client of my massage therapist for 5+ years. She’s excellent and I truly appreciate her. I always tip her 35-45%, at least.
I arrived for my apt today and she was with another client. We checked our txt correspondence and it was clear that she had not noted our rescheduling of the appointment. Not a big deal on my end, she told me just to hang on and I waited patiently for another 20 minutes or so outside of her office.
I wanted to let her know immediately that I’d had an issue getting cash out because I’d recently replaced my debit card (she prefers cash and I always have paid her in cash), and she said it was completely fine and just to Zelle her. My phone had died during our session, and she told me no worries, just get it to her when I got home, with a big hug. I still tipped her $40 in cash when I left (total was $130).
I fell asleep immediately when I got home and woke up to about 10 missed calls, several text messages, even a gif of someone holding money in their hands. She said it was “unacceptable” and “not nice” that I’d left 4 hours ago and still hadn’t payed her. I Zelle’d her ASAP and sent her a photo of the confirmation.
I’m a long-term, regular client and she and I know each other very well. I’d never want her to think I was taking advantage of her and I know she needs to be professional about clients paying her but AITH in this situation?
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Just for context, I have been a regular client of my massage therapist for 5+ years. She’s excellent and I truly appreciate her. I always tip her 35-45%, at least.
I arrived for my apt today and she was with another client. We checked our txt correspondence and it was clear that she had not noted our rescheduling of the appointment. Not a big deal on my end, she told me just to hang on and I waited patiently for another 20 minutes or so outside of her office.
I wanted to let her know immediately that I’d had an issue getting cash out because I’d recently replaced my debit card (she prefers cash and I always have paid her in cash), and she said it was completely fine and just to Zelle her. My phone had died during our session, and she told me no worries, just get it to her when I got home, with a big hug. I still tipped her $40 in cash when I left (total was $130).
I fell asleep immediately when I got home and woke up to about 10 missed calls, several text messages, even a gif of someone holding money in their hands. She said it was “unacceptable” and “not nice” that I’d left 4 hours ago and still hadn’t payed her. I Zelle’d her ASAP and sent her a photo of the confirmation.
I’m a long-term, regular client and she and I know each other very well. I’d never want her to think I was taking advantage of her and I know she needs to be professional about clients paying her but AITH in this situation?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I failed to pay my massage therapist for several hours after leaving her office.
2.) this was an inconsiderate act considering she operates independently, she let me leave trusting that I would pay her, and I said I would Zelle her as soon as I got home… Because my phone had died during the session.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
If you were a new client, I could understand her being worried, but the way she handled it was unprofessional and rude.
For a long term client, it is just a good way to lose business. NTA
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Look I’m not going to say YTA, I think it’s an honest mistake but you should have been better prepared in terms of the transaction fee. In saying that though as a long term client and someone that has always paid well above the mark I’d say this person has well and truly shot themselves in the foot. They could have just chased you with a simple text later in the day or first thing in the morning being like
“hey hope everything’s okay, do you mind sending the money over”
Ultimately she’s just made a simple miscommunication into a potential loss of a customer
She should’ve waited at least 24 hours anything can happen. Don’t know what kind of phone you have but she didn’t see that her messages weren’t going through? Isn’t it common for people to fall asleep after a massage. Idk these are all possibilities that she could’ve worked out in her head
YTA, gently.
Your massage therapist is used to you acting in a certain way. You doing something vastly different likely caused her to assume that this might be your last session with her so you wouldn’t pay her for it.
NTA. Her behavior was excessive and a bit hypocritical after she was also late to your appointment. You’re a longtime client who pays above market for her services. Her lack of consideration of these things shows poor judgment.
NTA. She didn’t need to jump on you like that. A single reminder would have been OK, but even then, waiting a day would have been better. It’s like she totally disregarded your relationship/history.
Mild YTA.
You accepted a service that she normally receives cash for and assured her you would send it when you got home. Instead you ignored your own words and decided to lay down and fall asleep. I get needing a nap and accidently falling asleep. But you didn’t even make an effort to send it before you did anything else.
I’m gonna say she normally prefers cash because she doesn’t have to worry about someone stiffing her. She was nice and made an exception for you because you’re a long time client, but you broke your word. I’m betting she wants cash because she’s had problems in the past with situations like this. How did she know for certain that you were ever coming back? Even long time clients can stiff someone.
It’s also possible she was depending on that money for something important that day and when you delayed, it might have caused her problems.
I’m not saying she didn’t overreact. Yes, she totally overdid the reminders, but there are possible extenuating circumstances behind it.
Neither one of you set a timeline, so it’s either both your faults or no one’s fault. Honestly, opinions differ here but I’m going to err on the side of NAH.
I had a friend tell me that in university, his creative writing teacher liked a story he wrote so much, he wanted to publish it in a textbook.
My friend said he’d be thrilled, but he wanted to make some changes before it was published.
The teacher responded, saying “I’ll pass on those changes.”
My friend, thinking the teacher was rejecting his revisions, was upset and wrote a huge email about how the creative writing program had always stressed the value of revisions.
The teacher responded “I meant I passed on those changes… to the publisher.”
Moral of the story: when miscommunications happen, it’s often no one’s fault.
NTA. You have history and she should give you the benefit of the doubt for 24 hours
IMO slight ESH, but primarily leaning toward she’s TAH. You realistically should have sent the payment at the first opportunity upon getting home, but I feel she also got too worked up way too quickly considering you’re a regular client.
NTA – tell her to chill out and get a massage.
YTA I fucking hate when people take forever to Venmo. I honestly hate when people Venmo
Definitely NTA. Like I can understand how it could be annoying to not be paid quickly and have to worry about it. But you’ve been a customer for years with no issues so it was pretty safe to assume you would pay. A simple reminder text for the short term delay would have been fine from her. Spam calling after not being paid for a couple hours is a little extreme. Also like what’s the worst case scenario you didn’t pay her 130 and she gets scammed and never sees you again? Like yeah that would suck pretty bad but it shouldn’t be the end of the world. Now she has probably lost a customer.
Yta, she was willing to let you pay another way and you didn’t respect it. She was ott sending you that many messages buf she isn’t an ah for that. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been there, she’s not your friend
NTA.
YTA, at the end of the day, you’re having a service performed and the expectation is to have it paid for at the end. You are a client at the end of the day.
NTA. She said Zelle was fine and you paid her. No issue here. Sure you said when you got home but she had no idea how long you were going to be out for.
My god, I’m shocked at how people view this. I’d say within 24 hours is totally fine. She seems hysterical. I’d say if you go back to drop the tip. Obits not being Reciprocated
Did you talk to her about his directly or ask Reddit first?
NTA. I would not go back to her.
YTA – it’s on you to pay when it’s time of service. She trusted you to pay as soon as you got home. Then you went to sleep for hours instead of paying her.
You may be friendly with her, but you’re still in a business relationship. She trusted you and you were not in a hurry to make good on your part. You need to be more responsible
NTA, she needs to chill. After 5 years and those tips, she should trust you.
OP –
If you didn’t have cash, and you told her that at the beginning of the session… and your phone still had charge at the beginning of the session…
why didn’t you do the transfer before you started?
She made an exception for you, the polite thing would be to pay her promptly.
Who knows what weirdness has happened with customers before that made her be weird. But you acted weird, she acted weird, it was weird all around.
You can chose to get over it, or spend time trying out new massage therapists till you find someone you like as much as her… your choice.
ESH
Gentle YTA. Even if youre a regular client, youre still a client at the end of the day. You received a service and should have paid as soon as you got home. Because youre a regular, she still gave you a service and took you at your word. I highly doubt she would have given someone new a massage before payment.
Just message her and apologize and tell her you were so relaxed that after you put your phone on the charger. You fell asleep. Its that simple. Just communicate with her.
NTA. She sounds unhinged.
YTA big time.
Your usual tip and the scheduling issue have nothing to do with the problem at hand (your late payment). I feel like you only started with those two things to get us on side. It has had the opposite effect, as I find it quite manipulative.
Anyway, you’re her client, not her friend. You were already exercising any goodwill you’d built up by being allowed to leave without having made payment. Then you destroyed it by delaying for 4 hours past the agreed time, without bothering to communicate. Was she meant to read your mind and know you’d pay?
NTA. I’d be going to someone else. I absolutely would expect grace as a long term client. She could have simply messaged a reminder. She was flat out rude.
Yta. This is her job
NTA she overreacted, do you know how often I forgot to Zelle my nail tech she just texts me a few hrs later with a reminder and I do it immediately. Your lady needs to chill.