How do you keep it all together? How do you keep the house clean and appointments straight and laundry done? How do you go to work and come home to more work and keep it all together? How do you stay with your husband who feels like just a stranger who shares your bed?
I’m specifically asking blue collar wives because the women who I have talked to who’s men are white collar, their husbands might not help but they aren’t physically exhausted. It feels different asking someone who sat a desk for 8 hours in the AC to help with chores vs someone who just worked 10 hours in the heat.
My husband tries. He does. But he is falling asleep by 7pm, physically exhausted. He wants to help but he just asks me what to do. Which gives me more to think about. He doesn’t talk about his emotions or hopes or dreams.
How do you stay in your marriage? How do you bring back the spark?
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My BIL does HVAC and he honestly just supports my sister and helps with the kids. She’s with them during the day and then when he gets home it’s his turn.
I think you should talk to your husband about what you need because he should be able to just hop in when he gets home
I feel like you’re relying too much on his type of work when yall have to find a way to bridge the gap so you feel supported. Long shifts and certain jobs are more physical but yall should be able to make a plan and split household duties.
I am offended.
why are you leaving out the blue collar women who work blue collar jobs and still get the laundry and everything done.
we are out there and I am offended you think we don’t exist. 😂
Get on a routine where you do the same chores every evening. Getting organized and on the same page will help with the resentment and burnout.
My dad was blue collar, and while I have an office job I work in a blue collar field.
Lots and lots of dads and husbands and wives and mothers are doing blue collar jobs and still help their partners. Like yeah, it is exhausting work and it’s not the same as an office job, but if your husband is truly that tired, has he been to a doctor? Done blood work? Is he getting enough sleep?
My partner is blue collar and does the cooking 80% of the time. I basically have dinner made for me every night because he’s home so much earlier than me. Granted we don’t have kids
My husband works for an internet company installing/splicing fiber. Minimal heavy lifting but lots of time in the weather, getting up and down, in crawl spaces and attics, etc etc. He used to work pest control.
He just… does his part. He’s tired. I’m tired. I’m a nurse and most of my shifts are spent running my butt off. But I come home and do my part, and on my days off and on weekends, we do all the “extra” chores we had to put off while we were both too tired from working (ex laundry gets sorted and put away, floors vacuumed, etc).
The kids help as well. My oldest two are 8 and 6, and they get tasked with tidying, feeding the dog, putting their own clothes away, clearing their dishes from dinner, etc.
My husband was in the Army and still helped/helps me with our kids.
You’re tired too, friend. You manage, he can buck up and be a little more tired so you’re a lot less burned out.
I worked in hvac and plumbing, as inside sales, and saw first hand how rough it is. Then I met an electrician, we started dating, saw how REALLY REALLY rough it is.
THENNN got promoted to outside sales and had to crawl in crawlspaces and monkey around attics.
Dude it sucks. The heat, the freezing, the awkward positions and movements. It kills your back i do not care how good at yoga you are.
So I said F this, we do not need two people in the trades. So I work from home in the HVAC industry back to inside sales so I can support him. Its long days no matter what. If I want shit done on the weekends big project wise, im cooking his food or meal prepping and handling everything on the inside.
Its hard. It sucks when he passes out at 830 every night. It sucks when he needs the weekend to recover because he has ladder feet or worked upside down on his back under a crawlspace all day.
But I wouldnt do it myself, he’s a hard worker, I love him, and I support him. They absolutely need to be chimed into eating right and hitting the gym. Their bodies depend on it.
ETA: How I do it. We meal prep on Sundays. He makes coffee and we spend about an hour together before he goes to bed. I work from home so I do small chores when I can. We live in a small house so we power clean together for an hour on Sundays. I handle laundry and he puts away his own. We try to do date nights 2 Saturdays a month. But mostly I’ve been there, so to speak, so I get it. I do get upset at times as well. Its hard. I have to make his doctors appointments and force him to go. I also initiate 70% of sex.
I also kind of reject the premise of this question! My mom and step dad worked blue collar jobs my whole life and the house was/is spotless. My mom made it clear that we didn’t make a mess in the first place I guess? Every night after dinner we picked up the house, we put away our things.
Dinner was usually something super easy, like a grilled chicken and microwave vegetables, or mac n cheese with a bagged salad. Nothing fancy. On Fridays we had pizza or steak and scalloped potatoes. (It was the Midwest…)
And yes, they were exhausted sometimes. Or they were called out during snow storms, or they worked overtime. And they were often sore and dirty and took off their work clothes in the garage. But they (and the kids when we were old enough) did chores on evenings and weekends and took turns driving us places.
My husband is a blue collar man while I’m a white collar woman, yet somehow he has more energy than me. He’d be driving 6+ hours from a work trip, then go straight to doing the family laundry when he got home. He’s cooked, cleaned, folded clothes, all right before he going to work. And he works more hours a week than me.
for me personally, and this sounds mean, but idc if he’s tired cause i’m tired too that doesn’t mean things don’t have to get done. we both work the same hours, his is manual labor while mine is office work. he comes home physically tired but i am mentally exhausted at the end of my day. his time and work is not more important than mine.
we split everything from childcare to household cleaning. weekdays look like: come home from work, one of us does dishes while the other cooks dinner. after dinner one person picks up while the other helps kids with homework/get ready for bed. then we have sex, and my husband usually immediately passes out (this is typically 8 pm) i usually stay up a bit later either reading or scrolling just to decompress my brain. then we wake up the next day and do it all over again. sometimes we get a bit crabby after work because we’re both tired but those are the nights we say fuck it, order a pizza and leave the dishes for the next day.
saturdays are dedicated to cleaning the rest of the house we couldn’t get to during the week (which again, we split) then we usually spend a bit of time with the kids before we have some time alone to just hangout together.
sundays is our ‘me’ days: we each get to either do our own hobbies or hangout with friends. if he takes off fishing, ill stay home with the kids and relax with a book. if i wanna go out to lunch with my friends, he stays home with the kids and will have friends at the house sometimes.
these are also expectations i set pretty early on in the relationship. i want a partner, not another person to look after, even if they do mean well.
I’m disabled and my partner works a physically and mentally demanding job. Trying to keep up with household responsibilities caused so many arguments early on that we just hired a cleaner and lawn crew to come every two weeks. It was a fantastic decision. The rest we divide up in ways that work for us.
As for the rest, if he’s so spent after a workday that he can’t spend any quality time with you and you’re starting to feel like strangers, I think you need to examine the work life balance you’ve got going on and see if some adjustments can be made.
My husband has a blue collar job but he works 8 hours a day, so he isn’t as exhausted, although lately he has been more tired due to sleep apnea, which we are trying to resolve.
Does your husband have good health and good sleep?
Could he look for a job with less hours? Something closer to home if he has a long commute, inside or less physically demanding?
If that’s not an option, could you work less hours or get more outside help paid (cooked meals, cleaning lady, baby-sitter, ordering groceries, etc) or unpaid (family members)? Could you relax your standards?
>He wants to help but he just asks me what to do. Which gives me more to think about.
That part is fairly easy to fix: think of one task that’s always the same, so he doesn’t have to ask you and you don’t have to think about it anymore.
First, why do you call it “help”? Are the kids not his? Is the house not his? What would he be doing if you were not in the picture? I bet he’d find a way to wake himself up. You need to first change the mentality that somehow by default you are responsible for all these and he is just helping.
It’s hard, but there are so many great things about his career and about him as a person that I try not to get too upset about things falling behind at the house
The truth is, we will always be behind on things. We will never finish our to do list. I have learned to live with it.
I’m also getting rid of 50% of our possessions because less clutter and items we have to take care of, the less work there is for me or anyone else
If you both work full time… he isn’t “helping” he’s just living and contributing to the kids he himself made. I would never continue a relationship with someone who believes that they should work 8 hours and I should work 24. Sounds like your husband wants a 50s housewife who works for full time too.
I’ve done blue collar work, 50-70hrs per week excluding the hour long commute each way. It’s so incredibly exhausting and I admit I was not physically capable of doing my usual share of housework, my husband picked up a ton of slack alongside his 40hr/wk white collar job. But I didn’t do nothing, I at least did my own laundry and whatever else I could. At minimum we sat together before bed and watched tv and decompressed, a luxury we had before having kids of course. Being tired is one thing but dissolving yourself of all responsibilities at home is another. He needs to make a point to help with a couple reasonable things before letting himself get too comfortable and falling asleep, or allow himself a 30min cat nap then waking up and being present.
I don’t think this is directly related to his work. My husband is a white-collar worker and is pretty much closed off about his fellings, emotions or hopes, and he doesn’t help me with anything either.
Dude sounds burned out. You both probably are. See if you can get help from the outside. There are people who enjoy helping. Give yourselves some breathing room for a little bit then maybe have a talk about how you can make life a little easier.
Are there ways you can rearrange things financially to be able to afford a little more free time for either of you? Is there anything eating up your time or money that would be worth sacrificing? Sometimes we build up ridiculous demands of ourselves and our partners then tear ourselves apart trying to live up to them. I’ve seen it happen to friends who are married in similar situations and I can’t help but think “you don’t need that boat, you don’t need that new washing machine/two week cross country vacation you just need to give yourselves the opportunity to actually enjoy each other for a little bit every day”
> How do you keep it all together? How do you keep the house clean and appointments straight and laundry done?
This is stuff people have to get done irrespective of blue collar or white/other color of collar.
Not sure what you mean by keeping appointments straight? I just put them all into Google Calendar with reminders.
Laundry is, again, something everyone has to do. You can chuck it in the washer at whatever time is convenient and use the delayed start function. For example, I throw laundry in there in the morning, delay the start until an hour or two before I get home, since I know it takes about 2 hours per load. That way, it’s just finishing up as I get home from work and I simply throw it into the dryer.
I’m lazy as hell, so I just try and optimize or cut down as much work as possible. You can also get a house cleaner like once a month or whatever.
It’s give and take. It was harder when my kids were small but we did it. We joke that he is the outside guy so he takes care off all associated outside tasks on his time, and I do all the inside stuff including cooking. He always does the dishes before I come home and helped to pick up the house a bit but we cut each other slack. He also will bring food home as his way of contributing to cooking if I’m too burnt out. I work in an office but have a demanding job too, but we love each other and make it work.
My husband is blue collar, and he still helps. A lot, honestly. Without me asking. He is amazing. Plus I only work part time. I’m so sorry you’re struggling.
I’m a blue collar woman who lives alone, and manages all these things by myself (albeit no kids).
It’s called being an adult.
I do my own laundry and make my own meals and run my own errands and do my own chores. I don’t work 10 hour shifts, I work 24-120 hour shifts, and sure I’m tired by the end of it, but like, nobody is going to do it for me. Shit still gotta get done.
Does he work 4 10s? I’ve been with my wife (36f) for almost 15 years now. We definitely struggled like you’re describing for a few years (especially the year she was stuck on a swing shift). She’s a welder (5a-3p), and on her work days, we don’t really talk much. She also goes to bed around 7pm, maybe 8 if she’s feeling cheeky. She’ll text a bit on her lunch break (10am) mostly to get her brain out of work mode for a few minutes. Our time together, our connection, comes on her days off. We have a short list of things that need to be done during the week, but mostly it gets done on weekends.
I’m disabled and work part-time from home, so it helps that I have more time to put toward keeping track of schedules and appointments (but I can’t really help with chores, since bending/reaching/carrying things isn’t something I can really do) Our kids are old enough to help, too, especially things like dishes, laundry, vacuuming, walking the dogs, etc. that are more frequently needed. If you don’t have kids – it helps to buy extra dishes so you only need to do dishes/laundry on days off, when you/he has the energy. If you don’t have a dishwasher, buy a bussing tub like restaurants have, or another container, where you can stash dirty dishes for a few days in soapy water until you get around to it. Finding little ways like that to make what you have work for you, just enough to get through the week, will buy you the time to fix the larger problems.
Him just asking what to do is putting all the mental load off onto you – which can be a longer term problem, but in the meantime maybe give him a checklist that he can work on throughout the week? “My back is too sore to vacuum today, but I can wipe down the countertops before bed” sort of thing. His emotions/hopes/dreams is another longer fix… especially working blue collar and the super macho kind of work environment that is, but there’s not much you can do without him being on board, to re-connect that way.
Bringing back the spark, it takes work for both of you, but little things like eating meals together – even if it’s only on his days off – or making time to do an activity together (watching a show, shared hobbies, the point is the time, not what you do with it) and date each other again. Turn love back from how you feel, into a verb again. Both of you working to show your affection and attraction, putting in the effort for each other like you did before you got married, the spark comes back. It hides in the little things.
It sounds like he makes excuses to you and you accept them rather than pushing back. If you’re not going to sleep at 7pm, he shouldn’t be going to sleep at 7pm, least of all if there are things to be done with and for the kids and things to be cleaned, etc. I’m not sure why you feel guilty reminding him he’s a participant in the household and not just a paycheck but, you shouldn’t.
This is ridiculous. You are just as tired. You are NOT the default parent and house cleaner while he just “helps” when he can. He is just as responsible for the kids he helped make. If you left him and he had part-time custody, he would take care of himself and his kids. He’s leaving it all to you now because he knows that he can get away with it. Put your foot down and tell him you’ll leave him if he doesn’t start equally contributing to parenting and household chores. Don’t put up with this!
Women have been working in factories for hundreds of years, and working right alongside their husbands in cottage industry or farming before that. In the Middle Ages, it was common for women to work outside the home as dairy maids or domestic servants. No one had to remind them to feed or bathe their children.
He ignores it because: a) he believes, deep down, that the default person for all those tasks is YOU, or b) he has much lower standards than you do (won’t clean unless it’s absolutely filthy, won’t feed kids unless they complain, etc.)
Here are your options: assign him permanent chores (he must always do the dishes and sweep, etc.), leave to establish your own household, or consider his lack of participation the price of admission for whatever good he brings to your life.
Compassion for your hard working husband and being easy on yourself because your cant do it all.
Regarding him asking you for a list, it sounds like he’s trying, and you want to help – so make a permanent/default list:
If all those things are done each day, everything will keep ticking along, and the bigger jobs like hoovering or cleaning the toilet can be on a weekend list.
It sounds like maybe you should do what he does and outsource your tasks to someone else. I don’t think you’d want a housewife to do your work for you, but maybe hire a cleaner or a sitter to take some of the load off you?
We just had our second kid and moved in with his retired parents. We need the support and my husband is super hands on and I’m a sahm although I would like to get back to work asap for my own mental health.
Having worked in construction – yeah it can exhausting, but still not an excuse. My coworkers got home and took their kids to activities, helped cook, and was an active parent. The only thing there was a consensus on, was when it is vacation time, they really did not like it when their partner decided that the house needs re-painting right that moment. or the guestroom need new windows on the friday after work.
atm I am working from home, as construction is not good for the body and I want to get higher up in the industry and be an office worker. But my wife is still in a blue collar job (mechanic, and yes – we are very stereotypical lesbians lol).
I don’t feel like asking her to cook dinner, or clean the house, as I don’t have to commute each day and that is hours saved. But she is expected to help with the regurlar household management.
And the fact that your husband say you just need to ask is just willfull incompetence. he got eyes does he not? he knows that if the dishwaser is clean it needs to be put away does he not? You are not his boss or manager, he can stop putting extra mental load on you if he wish to, but why would he? if you do it, then it is less stress for him.
I don’t know, we’re kind of burnt out to say the least. Yes he does what he can but he works shifts and does 8 hours of backbreaking work in uncomfortable working conditions. Of course he’s genuinely tired after getting up at 4am or working all night, and he has to sleep early and gets terrible sleep. Some of these comments aren’t very understanding, and most aren’t people who’ve actually been in the position. In my case he’s literally not home most of the time stuff has to be done, and no, I’m not going to get him to do chores in the middle of the night. And if I wasn’t here he wouldn’t have a child, he wouldn’t have done it alone. If I died tomorrow he’d have to find another job.
I don’t think this has anything to do with blue collar or white collar, and everything to do with your spouse being useless. My husband has been white collar and blue collar. He was an insurance salesman that worked in an office and now is an aircraft mechanic in the military. We’ve been together 15 years, and in all that time and with either job, I have never once had to ask him to do anything around the house or for our son, he just does it because he’s an adult and understands what needs to be done to maintain a household and be a good parent.
my father was blue collar and when we were younger my parents marriage was definitely stronger than when we were getting to be high school aged. now that I’m grown looking back i can see one of the biggest differences was that when we were younger my parents went out once a week just the two of them. they were in a bowling league even though neither of them were particularly great. when the league wasn’t going on they were going to live music events or the drive in our whatever else they did.
they stopped doing things just the two of them as we got older and i assume more expensive/ busier.
every old couple i know of that has a good relationship now that their kids are out of the house has said the same thing, that you have to make time for just the two of you out of the house.
My dad was an electrician and he was very involved and did it all. My fiancee is an electrician and he’s the same way. I have kids but they’re not his yet he helps me out with them a lot. He will pay for things to make our lives easier though if he doesn’t have the energy.
My son is a deputy. Usually on nights. And he’s the type that’s usually in the shit so he’s EXHAUSTED. And he cares for his children and helps clean the house and is a full partner for my DIL.
I’m saving money and leaving
My husband is blue collar but owns his own business, which makes a huge difference. Before he was up getting calls from sites before 7am and they didn’t stop all day.
Now he sets his own schedule and is a lot more present and contributes to the household more than just financially. I don’t think it’s necessarily the blue collar aspect as it is the work environment or culture.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I recommend reading the book Fair Play and getting the card set that goes with it. It helps partners evenly distribute tasks to help with the mental load.
My husband usually starts his day by 3am, so he’s home by 11-1pm, usually. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Worse, I have a part time job that I go to 4x a week on an opposite shift. He does take over child stuff and household stuff during that time after/before he takes a nap. He cooks most if not all dinners and meals. Like he does most of the housework because he’s home during daylight hours. I handle most child and household management like ordering groceries, appts, etc.
However, as you said, he is passed out by 7-8pm, sadly around when I get home so there’s very little alone time. We are still figuring it out but that’s our greatest hurdle. We do have the same days off, but often he’s so tired from the other days that he’s in sleep catch up mode.
I don’t have an answer unfortunately. Every night I find myself alone from 8pm onward, with no one to even talk to, let alone share intimacy with.
The household and child task sharing issue we don’t have, but the intimacy problem we are still trying to balance. It doesn’t help we are going through a particularly challenging period in life – there have been other seasons where this hasn’t been as much of an issue.
There are plenty of single blue collar men who somehow manage to keep their houses and clothes clean and feed themselves. I used to date one (we were together 7 years but preferred to live separately) whose place was much tidier than mine. He even ironed his clothes, which blew my mind. I asked him, “You’ve heard of just hanging it up when you shower, right?” He said no, he liked ironing 😂
We do it because our husbands pitch in and do the work too. My husband isn’t blue collar, but his work as a hospitalist doctor is very physical. He gets up at 5:30am to drive to a hospital in the city at 6:15am where he rounds on his very sick patients in the morning (so basically walking all morning) and examining them in rooms that are often very hot because his hospital is cheap and tries to save on AC. All while also teaching the residents and students rounding with him. Then he goes to meetings at noon for the residency program, stuffs a sandwich I made him into his mouth and then charts for his patients what diagnosis and medications and procedures are being done in the afternoon. Then assuming no one crashed or no emergencies happen (in which case all bets are off and he’s not home until 7:30) he might leave the hospital at 5 and be home by 6pm. This is a 12 hour work day that is physically and mentally grueling because if he fucks up people DIE. All of his patients are very sick people, sick enough to be admitted to a hospital. These are not people with a cold. The stakes are extremely high. He cannot ever just zone out or check out if he’s tired the way most people with office jobs can.
However, when I get home I cook and he does the dishes. The fact that his work is hard doesn’t change this. He does the dishes and clean up, gathers garbage around the house and brings out the garbage and recycling every night as well as clean up clutter with me. I cook, feed our baby daughter, wash her and put her to bed. I don’t have time to do other cleaning and he knows this. It’s only after she goes to bed around 8:30 and we both shower and sort of rest/zone out on the bed before falling asleep by 9:30pm. My husband doesn’t need to be told to do these things. If he sees it needs to be done he does it. But it may also be because he’s actually neater and more organized than me.
I taught him. Seriously.
I explained that having to detail every step I needed from him was an additional burden on my shoulders. We created a calendar of events and itemized chore lists for all of us. (Me, him and the kids) “Clean your bathroom” meant he looked around and picked up stuff from the floor and called it a day. An itemized procedures list was more in line to what he was used to – so that’s what we did.
If there are tasks that need to be done around the house, they go on the shared calendar. “Him: clean gutters” “me: wash exterior windows” – if they don’t get completed on that day it’s not the end of the world, it just gets bumped forward. We detail menial/daily tasks on there too – and if one of us does the other’s job, well that’s freaking awesome.
But just because he’s working a blue collar job does not mean that the entirety of the house falls to me. If I wasn’t here he’d still be tired, and still need to get stuff done.
I’ve worked both kinds of jobs, and trust me sitting in the office for 8 hours can be just as exhausting and sometimes even more. Just mentally instead of physically. Please don’t make the assumption that office workers have it easier so they can help out more just per default. Partners of both kinds of jobs should pull their weight at home too. It’s not like blue collar workers have some kind of magical fairy that does their chores for them if they aren’t in a relationship
This post is very serendipitous for me because last night my fiancé who’s a paver (arguably one of the hardest blue collar jobs) told me out of the blue that he needs to step up his game at home and contribute more to house tasks.
I don’t call it help because they are also his responsibility.
It sounds like you are both maxed out- can you hire out anything? Lawncare, monthly house cleaning? Something neither of you enjoy doing?
Husband is a barber. Not exactly hard labor, but he works on his feet all day. Usually a 10 hour shift. Sometimes longer. He still helps around the house. I work full time from home. But work is work. My only luxury is I don’t commute, which helps a lot. We’re both tired in the evening. Him physically. Me mentally. We do what we have to, but save the heavy lifting for our days off. That means we don’t always go to bed with a spotless kitchen. There are still dog tumbleweeds waiting until someone can run the vacuum. We accept that not everything has to be perfect during the week, but we do our best to keep it neat enough until we are off.
Every night, when we’re both tired and ready for bed, I’ll say X and Y need to be done before we head up. Which one do you want? He always picks Y and I always do X. But I still have to ask as a reminder that Y does indeed still need to be done. Such is the life of the woman in the family I think.
Maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but my husband works in construction as a carpenter and still manages to find the time and energy to help out around the house when he can. Since I work from home mostly, the majority of housework does fall on me— but he will still help cook dinner, do the dishes, and most importantly he always makes sure to spend time with our daughter (6 yo).
My husband is my best friend, so spending time together even if it’s just us watching trash tv is still fun. Date nights are rare because of work and our daughter’s activities, so we try to not take any time together for granted. He still brings me flowers, I still leave him cute notes in his lunchbox. It’s easier to build up to those bigger, more intimate and emotional moments if you remember to honor the little ones just the same.
I’m sure you know this, but blue collar work can be really taxing on the mind as well as the body. Your husband could be going through some depression, and there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to a doctor or therapist if he needs some extra help.
I work 6:30am-3pm & my husband works in warehouse maintenance 12-10pm (sometimes until midnight during peak season).
He drops our son to school in the morning (8:45), mows the lawn or walks the dog, throws in laundry, takes a nap or shower, and then goes to work.
When I leave work (3pm), I pick up our son, let the dog out/feed all pets, make dinner, prep breakfast & lunches for the next day, switch laundry, fold it while watching tv with my son, do bath time and bedtime (8:30). Most days, I watch 1 tv show for me or scroll my phone for 30 mins and am in bed by 9:30 pm.
No time or energy for much romance – mostly just Survival. We try to make up family time and couple time on weekends.
I’ve seen these types of households do split shifts sometimes.
Blue collar drops kid off at school and white collar gets off an hour early to pick up kid.
Maybe he does weekend chores while you do weekday chores? If his schedule is Monday-Friday.
A chore chart can help and when the kids are old enough, including them in daily chores can help.
I will also say I’ve seen white collar jobs be just as tiring but mentally and sometimes just as long (60 hour weeks sometimes).
Sometimes you just have to do it tired and sick bc it needs done. And it’s not perfectly done, just done.
Dads and moms alike.
Divorced him, honestly. I just couldn’t handle being the only one carrying the load at home while he came back too exhausted to engage. Now he does his own chores at his own place and takes care of our kid 50% of the time. No idea how he manages it, and to be honest, I don’t really care anymore. Life feels a lot lighter this way.
I’m a blue collar worker, I’m a woman and a single mom. I have kids. I do what I need to do and that’s it. When you have kids your life is no longer yours. You do what you must until you die. So yes I work a 40+ hour work week in a physically taxing job, then I go pick up my kid and go home- I do all the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping.
If your husband doesn’t like that needs to do more than just work he can leave and pay child support and alimony.
My husband is blue collar and works 10 hour days, he just comes home and gets on with the chores and the kid stuff and dinner, like I do. I hate that he seems to be an exception to the norm.
I’m sorry that doesn’t answer your question at all, but just know that there are men out there who take on 50/50 with their spouses and it infuriates me to no end that so many women are just expected to do everything around the house because of their gender.