I have two step sisters and one biological one. The step sisters don’t maintain communication or contact with me and very limited with my sister.
They have a bunch of kids so it’s become understandable they have less time available. But I don’t get invited to birthday parties. We weren’t informed of the new pregnancies in person or over text. But on Facebook.
I only get called when something breaks or they need something. They say we need to get together for lunch but never follow through on plans. I see the kids so little now that they don’t know who I am.
I’ve told them I want more information and to stay in the know and be more involved. My biological sister has said the same thing. But we aren’t being included still. Even in a group chat with just us, very little is sent out. Everything I share is ignored and I’m frustrated.
My younger step sister recently had a miscarriage in the last 3 months. But she has 4 other kids. We were instructed by my mom to keep minimal contact with her right now. But then my dad says we should check in on her.
My biological sister and I did a trip and shared photos. We were texted by my older step sister to not post the photos or send them cause it would negatively affect my younger step sister who’s still grieving.
I’m even more angry because they didn’t text me, I got relayed the information from my actual sister and I’m mad.
Like, why do we have to limit living our lives and change what we do because someone who barely talks to us is still sad? I understand losing a child is traumatizing. But this seems a step too far and unreasonable. I feel like I’m always expected to help out and I’m criticized when I speak out. My parents say, “I shouldn’t feel this way”.
Am I the asshole?
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I have two step sisters and one biological one. The step sisters don’t maintain communication or contact with me and very limited with my sister.
They have a bunch of kids so it’s become understandable they have less time available. But I don’t get invited to birthday parties. We weren’t informed of the new pregnancies in person or over text. But on Facebook.
I only get called when something breaks or they need something. They say we need to get together for lunch but never follow through on plans. I see the kids so little now that they don’t know who I am.
I’ve told them I want more information and to stay in the know and be more involved. My biological sister has said the same thing. But we aren’t being included still. Even in a group chat with just us, very little is sent out. Everything I share is ignored and I’m frustrated.
My younger step sister recently had a miscarriage in the last 3 months. But she has 4 other kids. We were instructed by my mom to keep minimal contact with her right now. But then my dad says we should check in on her.
My biological sister and I did a trip and shared photos. We were texted by my older step sister to not post the photos or send them cause it would negatively affect my younger step sister who’s still grieving.
I’m even more angry because they didn’t text me, I got relayed the information from my actual sister and I’m mad.
Like, why do we have to limit living our lives and change what we do because someone who barely talks to us is still sad? I understand losing a child is traumatizing. But this seems a step too far and unreasonable. I feel like I’m always expected to help out and I’m criticized when I speak out. My parents say, “I shouldn’t feel this way”.
Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Reacting to my sister and being angry for the request.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA I don’t understand why your life would bother them unless they’re jealous of you. In which case, even more reason to ignore it.
I’m sorry, but you are the AH in this situation. Everything you said in your post is about what you think you deserve. You deserve to be a part of their lives. You deserve to be able to talk about whatever you want, you deserve to know the truth exactly from her and not through others or on Facebook. Honestly, you seem like a selfish person and maybe that’s the reason she has distanced herself from you. I’m not saying this to be mean. When was the last time you thought about what you could do for her, to support her or add something to her life, rather than what you think you deserve from her? I think if you look at this honestly you might be surprised. No one wants someone in their life who feels entitled and full of expectations. The more you approach people with “how can I give, how can I serve,” rather than “what do I deserve” the more they will want you in their life.
ESH. They don’t include you in their lives but you are still expected to honour their wishes. Thats shitty and they are assholes for that. However, they have lost a child and there is just being an empathetic human being for a while.
NTA. Posting the photos seems fine. Just don’t send them to the grieving sister.
People have the right to boundaries like “don’t send me the pictures” but not to control your actions that don’t involve them, like posting pictures. You aren’t going to be posting the pictures at them, you’re just living your life.
That said, if it’s really going to upset her (which… seems a little odd to me unless y’all have a lot of kids in the pictures?), you could be extra nice and post them to a private audience.
NTA. I would drop oit o the group chat, block them on SM so they dont see anything pics that may upset them, and move on with my life. If your Dad is so concerned about the amount of contact you have with you steps then him, he needs to discuss it with them. Remind him that the road goes both ways. You’ve tried. You’re done.