This may be long, but I’ll keep it short. My job was shutting down stores, and I was stressed while closing mine. One day a group of teen girls came in. I greeted them but they mocked me, asking if I was allowed to be on my phone and what my boss would think. Their tone wasn’t curious, just rude. I told them to leave and they refused until security threatened to arrest them. As they left, they called me a “loser.”
A few days later they tried to come back but left when they saw me. I thought it was over. My store closed, I transferred, and one day I randomly saw one of the girls on a local Instagram page. That’s how | learned her name and school, I didn’t go looking, it just popped up. Then she showed up at my new store. While I was helping a customer, she made faces and stuck out her tongue. I asked her to leave or I’d call security, and she argued until my coworkers stepped in. As she left, she filmed me. I was drained, so l contacted her school. The dean was apologetic and said he’d talk to her. Recently, I saw her outside taking pictures of the store. When she realized I saw her, she left, but my coworker saw her and a friend still hanging around. I left another voicemail for the school.
The next day the store phone rang. it was her name on the caller ID. My coworker answered because I was too anxious. She was upset, saying she didn’t know how I got her info, that she feels “harassed” since she’s a minor, and demanded my name/number (which my coworker didn’t give). She called the store four times in a row. Now I’m anxious about going to work. I’ve told my boss everything, kept reports, and coworkers have witnessed the behavior. But I feel guilty, like maybe I did something wrong by reporting her to her school even though I just want to do my job in peace. I’m not targeting her, I’m not obsessed, and I didn’t “stalk” her her name popped up online and that’s it.
So, AITA for reporting her?
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This may be long, but I’ll keep it short. My job was shutting down stores, and I was stressed while closing mine. One day a group of teen girls came in. I greeted them but they mocked me, asking if I was allowed to be on my phone and what my boss would think. Their tone wasn’t curious, just rude. I told them to leave and they refused until security threatened to arrest them. As they left, they called me a “loser.”
A few days later they tried to come back but left when they saw me. I thought it was over. My store closed, I transferred, and one day I randomly saw one of the girls on a local Instagram page. That’s how | learned her name and school, I didn’t go looking, it just popped up. Then she showed up at my new store. While I was helping a customer, she made faces and stuck out her tongue. I asked her to leave or I’d call security, and she argued until my coworkers stepped in. As she left, she filmed me. I was drained, so l contacted her school. The dean was apologetic and said he’d talk to her. Recently, I saw her outside taking pictures of the store. When she realized I saw her, she left, but my coworker saw her and a friend still hanging around. I left another voicemail for the school.
The next day the store phone rang. it was her name on the caller ID. My coworker answered because I was too anxious. She was upset, saying she didn’t know how I got her info, that she feels “harassed” since she’s a minor, and demanded my name/number (which my coworker didn’t give). She called the store four times in a row. Now I’m anxious about going to work. I’ve told my boss everything, kept reports, and coworkers have witnessed the behavior. But I feel guilty, like maybe I did something wrong by reporting her to her school even though I just want to do my job in peace. I’m not targeting her, I’m not obsessed, and I didn’t “stalk” her her name popped up online and that’s it.
So, AITA for reporting her?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called a girls school to report her for constantly harassing me. This might make me the asshole because I accidentally found her instagram and found out her name and school and report her to the dean. It just feels weird i accidentally found her Instagram and was able to see where she went to school.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
She was harassing you, not the other way around. It’s not like you continued calling the school once she stopped since she didn’t stop. Essentially every sequence was initiated by her actions.
She knows full well if she just left it well alone, you would be off her case, but she’s calling and playing victim. This is essentially a power play and more harassment from her under the guise of “I’m a minor and you’ll get in trouble.”
If she starts anything more, have a coworker or your boss report her so it’s not just always you. I would also consider a restraining order from the store if she comes causing trouble again.
YTA finding a teenage girl’s personal info is creepy you work in customer service people are gonna be jerks just deal with it
YTA – going outside the area where you interacted (the store) is too much, especially for a kid who’s just making faces at you / calling you names. You can deal with the behavior *at the store* but you can not go outside the store area unless there is a believable threat, like “my friends and I are going to hit you.”
In future, before you take any steps, you should ask your manager for advice on what to do, and do NOT do anything more than he or she recommends.
For this instance, leave her alone. Completely, strictly, alone. Ask your manager to ban her from the store, and anytime she comes in, go find security to escort her out. Ask your manager if it would be ok for the next person to talk to her to say, “We understand your concern. It was not a deliberate attempt to find you, but we can all end it here. You stay away from the store and our employees, the employees will stay away from you.”
When there is a conflict, going outside the area of conflict is called escalating. You have to be careful how you do that, especially with minors. It seems like you don’t know the rules well enough to escalate properly, so in future ask someone who might know better, like your manager, before you escalate.
NTA.
YTA, what are you expecting the school to do? They don’t police kids outside school hours
Nta. Go to the police with. She’s claiming you are harassing her when she added you to her Instagram and found your store. Now-she is calling you and threatening. Reporting to her school is not enough action. You need to go to the police with the evidence and get harassment/stalking charges filed. Her parents will probably be responsible for any legal or monetary damages because she’s under 18. They won’t be happy one the cops show them the evidence. Who knows what their little darling is telling them now.
ESH. It’s not school hours, so the school has nothing to do with it, not sure why you’re making it their problem. Contacting parents would make more sense.
ESH.
Teenage brat, but you over-reacted when you called her school. What is your manager doing? Playing with himself? He should have banned her from the store and made sure she understood if she showed up again it would be trespassing. He gets paid to manage, so make him earn those big bucks.
Her name popped up on the caller ID? On a phone where you wouldn’t have her personal number saved? Fake
She will likely complain to your corporate office and get you fired.
Yta because I’m just confused about you calling this child’s school. I’m honestly surprised the dean gave you the time of day lol.
NTA. Calling the school is a level down from calling the police. Apparently the school thought it was worth doing something or they would have brushed her off. Time to teach her that actions have consequences or she’ll be a real terror after she graduates.
I’m curious why you would contact the school though. What are they supposed to do about it
Sure, the dean was apologetic and said he’d talk to her. Of course he said that. What else was he supposed to say. But school’s aren’t responsible for their behavior outside of school.
I’m going with NTA because I think you simply didn’t know what else to do. This, however, was an issue for security and police. The school can’t do anything.
Sorry but this minor needs to learn there are consequences for her behaviour. Contacting the school was correct, as any student represents the school when out in public, and her behaviour was abhorrent. She should be taken to task over bringing the schools name into disrepute and realise the repercussions of not behaving in public. You could report her to the police.
NTA but I don’t understand the people thinking you should’ve called the police because the school shouldn’t be involved. If you call the police then the school gets involved by default. They would be informed and have an obligation to safeguard their students and that means being in the loop about potential criminal charges. Calling the school instead of the police is actually a step down from calling the police.
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I don’t know where you live but in our area that is not the case especially for something as simple as trespassing and sticking their tongue out and making faces at a store clerk. It is not a felony, it is not violent, what do you expect the school to do? The kid is not going to get expelled because of this, and they’re not going to get suspended or face any disciplinary action from the school. You can insist on calling the school as much as you want, but we’re not going to do anything about it and there’s no reason that we need to even know about it.