I was out walking my dog today and passed a woman and her young daughter. My dog was peeing, and since it was raining he was tugging to go home. When I turned around, I noticed the little girl ripping up the flowers in front of my building flowers my super works hard to maintain every day.
I ran over with my dog and politely said to the mother, “Ma’am, your daughter is ripping up the flowers. Please tell her not to touch what isn’t hers.” The mom, still on the phone walking 5–10 feet ahead, replied, “She’s five, she had a bad day at school, and when we come back tomorrow she’s going to do it again.” Instead of teaching her daughter respect for others’ property, she excused it because the child “had a bad day.” I couldn’t help but think: what kind of message does that send? Why reward bad behavior with no consequences?
I watch my super work multiple times a day caring for those flowers, only for a child to destroy them because her mom won’t step in. Teaching kids boundaries and respect matters, and shrugging it off isn’t doing them any favors. And you can call me a K*ren all you want but that attitude and response is extremely entitled.
So AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
I was out walking my dog today and passed a woman and her young daughter. My dog was peeing, and since it was raining he was tugging to go home. When I turned around, I noticed the little girl ripping up the flowers in front of my building flowers my super works hard to maintain every day.
I ran over with my dog and politely said to the mother, “Ma’am, your daughter is ripping up the flowers. Please tell her not to touch what isn’t hers.” The mom, still on the phone walking 5–10 feet ahead, replied, “She’s five, she had a bad day at school, and when we come back tomorrow she’s going to do it again.” Instead of teaching her daughter respect for others’ property, she excused it because the child “had a bad day.” I couldn’t help but think: what kind of message does that send? Why reward bad behavior with no consequences?
I watch my super work multiple times a day caring for those flowers, only for a child to destroy them because her mom won’t step in. Teaching kids boundaries and respect matters, and shrugging it off isn’t doing them any favors. And you can call me a K*ren all you want but that attitude and response is extremely entitled.
So AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Should I have confronted her or just left it alone and let the little girl destroy it? (2) because I called her out only for her to say she will do it tomorrow
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You’re not the a-hole. Kids need boundaries, and parents need to teach respect.. not excuse bad behavior. Flowers don’t grow themselves lol
NTA — you handled the situation correctly. I would contact your supers to let them know
NTA. Growing flowers takes a lot of work and patience. That mom needs to actaully be a PARENT and teach her child not to touch what isnt hers. That mom is using the victim card “she had a bad day” and her child might grow up to do that as well. Also it’s not like you were being condescending you nicely informed the mom. So therefore your NOT the asshole.
ESH. You’re blowing this WAAAAAAAY out of proportion bc you’re bored
Mom shouldn’t be shouldn’t be upset when her little miracle of joy gets suspended from school eventually.
NTA. You should have said a lot more to her, because life isn’t going to be kind to her or her little Brattalynn. I can see why the dad isn’t in the picture.
NTA that parent is going to create a monster, and then someday be wringing her hands about why her kid did X, Y, and Z. Tell the super what happened, let them deal with it (hopefully by sending an invoice for the plants and labor to the mom!)
NTA.
Just cause people live in apartment buildings, doesn’t mean the whole place around the building belongs to them. I’d totally report them to the super for destroying public property.
Be there waiting with a flowers and a trowel and show her the joy in planting them
Tell the mother that the child is getting dog pee all over her hands
NTA. Hopefully the bldg owner backs up the super, though, if you do tell the super. I like the idea (per another response here) of showing up with flowers and a [child-safe] trowel, except that that gets you too involved in what should be a building-wide effort to preserve/respect the cultivated vegetation. It’s the commons and the mom isn’t there for it. Ugh. Good luck with it.
NTA,
The woman basically told you to F**K OFF without saying it in so many words, all in response to a perfectly reasonable request.
Horrible mother.
NTA I would report it to your Super and honestly I am not surprised at all. Everyone claims to be “gentle parenting” when in fact they are not parenting at all.
I would have snapped pictures of the little ^% and emailed them to the office. Wouldn’t have said anything to mother and become a target.
I would report it to your super.
Hopefully, the lady is a resident and they can solve the issue by issuing fines- a lot of apartment contracts will include the ability to administer fines for littering or damage to the property grounds outside of the apartment.
If not, I guess they can set up security cameras and signs saying not to touch the flowers, and maybe try to small claims them in court if they record them damaging the flowers enough times.
She CANT BE BOTHERED TO PARENT. The entire issue. Probably why the kid is having bad days. They’ve got more of them ahead.
NTA. That’s horrible parenting. Even my 2 year year old knows not to pick flowers, except this one super invasive one that is totally fine to pick.
No you’re not, your response was valid. Mom needs to teach the daughter about respecting things that don’t belong to her and how to regulate their anger
Wow that Mom is setting that kid up for so much trouble and difficulty in life because she is too lazy to parent.
Well here is a future conversation “Mom, I’m in Jail can you bail me out?” “sure honey, you are going to do this again right? I always have your back”
NTA
Film her and show it to whoever runs that complex. She’ll be gone soon.
NTA. I’m thinking you come back tomorrow with an air horn, wait close by, and when the kid goes to touch the flowers…. AIR HORN 💥
Should have snatched that phone out of her hands and thrown it in the street and when she got upset about it told her that you had a bad day and will do it again tomorrow