For context, we have been together for over 6 years. The first few years he would always compliment, always tells me he loves me. But now I’m lucky if he does either of those once a month. It sucks. I have tried communicating it repeatedly. This last year has been so rare, it feels almost fake when he does now.
We went on a vacation last week for 10 days to a country 12+ hours away by plane. It was pretty fun, but I just felt really unloved the entire trip. The entire trip, he complimented me twice, both only times where I was wearing EXTREMELY revealing dresses. He never said he loved me. I would tell him I loved him. I complimented him every single day. His looks, his outfits, how thankful I was for something he’d do, how smart he is, just everything. He never said he loved me. I even once said “I just said I loved you. Say it back” (in a really flirty, joking manner) and he turned to me and said “stop I’m tired.” Like that takes the same amount of time to say than “I love you.”
But the part that really hurts is that he insulted me a lot during the trip. He made fun of me constantly and I was the budding end of a lot of his jokes. Made fun of my looks, would joke about how I walked, talked, everything. I don’t know. I’m extremely skinny and somehow he’d always bring that into conversation in a negative manner when that’s the main reason he has said he is attracted to me.
One time earlier this year I tried seeing how long he would go without complimenting me (even something like “you’re so helpful” not even about my looks) or saying he loved me. He went a month without doing either and eventually it got to me and I had to stop because it really emotionally impacted me.
The only times he does tell me he loves me, on the rare occurrence he does, is when he’s trying to get me into the mood. I can’t remember the last time I heard it when he wasn’t initiating. Same goes for compliments, but sometimes I get those if I’m dressing up and my body is half exposed.
I used to always tell him I love him every single day. And now I feel afraid to because I know he won’t say it back to me. I still compliment him as much as I can though because I want him to understand how precious he is to me.
He is a really great boyfriend besides this though. We spend a lot of quality time together, go on real dates almost every week, hangout at least 3 times a week for at least 5+ hours each time; he is loyal, extremely intelligent, and very hardworking.
I do communicate my emotions to him. I just hate having this conversation every single month or two. It makes me feel unloved. I don’t want to have to be asked to feel loved. I just want to be loved.
TL;DR: My boyfriend of 6 years never compliments me or tells me he loves me. He’ll go over a month if I don’t bring it up without doing either. I try communicating this to him, and he’ll act extremely loving for around a week, before going very cold again until I bring it up next.