My (20M) insight based off experience

M20 here and i noticed It’s mostly lonely men and yeah it’s an unfortunate epidemic but I have some stuff to say for both genders.

Please hear me out and read through this if you have time.

Don’t settle for no matter how lonely or desperate you are.

Don’t actively look if you are damaged but keep an open mind. If the right person comes to you, embrace them.

Build trust based off actions, and not words. Do not fall for sweet words and false promises by anyone. Do not commit unless your partner is willing to do the same. You’re setting yourself up for failure and making yourself vulnerable to someone who won’t trust you with the same.

Find someone who loves you just about as much as you do and who’s willing to sacrifice for you what you would sacrifice for them.

‘Purity’ is a rather weird concept. If you have strong opinions on it fine, but don’t expect your partner to be a virgin if you aren’t one yourself.

And preach and practice complete mutual honesty from the start, I thought there was place for secrets in a relationship because my ex wouldn’t share with me to the level I did with her. But there are no secrets and try to ask for complete knowledge without being controlling.

Staying with each other must be a choice you both choose. Not a compulsion you force off promises.
Find someone who chooses you and you choose to be with regardless of the tough times.

Love and trust are the only things you need with a healthy partner. Happiness comes and goes depending on tough times.Just make sure you stay with each other through the good and bad, then come out stronger.

Finally, never tolerate any sort of violation of your boundaries or cheating. If anyone cheats, it’s over then and there. I made the mistake of forgiving and trying to forget(didn’t work).

And please remember, if you get messed over by a partner, please don’t generalise, not every woman or man will be the same. Keep an open mind, the hatred will be unavoidable when wrong, just focus it towards that one person instead of whatever demographic they are a part of.

And never self harm, please your life is valuable. I love you all and am wishing you a good day.

Tl:dr: just advice man, i want everyone to be safe