My stepdad owns a metal business and like 5 properties all over Illinois. 3 of them are in Chicago (Pilsen).
I met him when I was 6 (he was 35) and I basically grew up around his business. I’ve actually helped him out before and learned what he does.
He told me he’s leaving me 2 of the 5 properties. He said it’s cuz I’m the only one who ever cared about the business or did anything with it. His other 3 kids have never worked in the industry, never helped him, and honestly don’t even care about it.
I don’t even talk to his kids, we’re not close at all. Now they’re mad and saying it’s not fair and we should all get the properties. But like they never put in the work and would probably just sell them right away.
So AITA for keeping the 2 properties he’s giving me and not wanting to share with them
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My stepdad owns a metal business and like 5 properties all over Illinois. 3 of them are in Chicago (Pilsen).
I met him when I was 6 (he was 35) and I basically grew up around his business. I’ve actually helped him out before and learned what he does.
He told me he’s leaving me 2 of the 5 properties. He said it’s cuz I’m the only one who ever cared about the business or did anything with it. His other 3 kids have never worked in the industry, never helped him, and honestly don’t even care about it.
I don’t even talk to his kids, we’re not close at all. Now they’re mad and saying it’s not fair and we should all get the properties. But like they never put in the work and would probably just sell them right away.
So AITA for keeping the 2 properties he’s giving me and not wanting to share with them
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I’m the ashole because I’m taking some property’s that I did earn and my step sibiling are fighting ab it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Respect his wishes.
NTA. Your step father decided you are to get those. If your step siblings have an issue they need to discuss it with their father.
Don’t worry about them.
So if there are 5 properties and 4 kids the math works out that somebody gets 2. I guess that’s you. Not your choice, or theirs, anyway
NTA
Your stepfather has decided – on his own, with no undue influence – how he wants to divide his properties.
The only way you could possibly be TA is if you didn’t respect his wishes.
Sounds like his kids are just being greedy, which is probably exactly why he chose to leave the property to you. The only one who has ever cared about the actual business operation.
Sounds like his biological kids are the assholes.
My FIL has a business he’s invested his whole life in. He has two biological kids and two stepkids. Neither of his biological children had any interest, and both moved away to pursue other careers. The youngest stepchild has thrown her whole heart into the business, and takes a ton of stress and responsibility off his shoulders.
Neither my husband nor his sibling begrudge her a single thing. She’s earned every penny of the salary she gets, and she should get the business when he passes.
No. people are allowed to decide how they want their hard earned assets to be handled. He saw someone who would appreciate those properties and grow a business, allowing his legacy to live on. And his being a father figure from such an early age shows he was a father who stepped up (no dis to your bio dad).
If they haven’t crossed your path often, they aren’t likely to continue – no love lost. Make him proud!!
A bucket of cold water here: there’s a lot of legal space between “my stepdad told me” and what actually happens a few years down the road. Wills, deeds, money and circumstances can change a lot between the day you are told something about an estate plan and the day that someone dies.
Nothings changed, they didn’t want a relationship in the past and they don’t want one now. They only want money. Ignore them. Just make sure the will is up to date and hopefully they won’t dispute it.
NTA
NTA
This are your stepfather’s properties and he’s very much alive to decide what to do with HIS estate. If he wants to give you the properties or to the next door dog, it’s up to him. He doesn’t owe his children a thing, so it’s his job to let them know that: they are not entitled to anything from him, period
NTA. He’s happy with you getting them; you’re happy getting them, that’s all that matters.
Your brothers don’t want the properties, anyway, They wouldn’t know what to do with them. They just want the money they could get from them.
Did each of them get a propert but you got 2? Or where did the other 3 go?
Did each of them get a property but you got 2? Or where did the other 3 go?
NTA. This is between him and them. They can stay mad at you all they want. His assets are his to distribute as he wills upon his death.
NTA…Nobody is automatically entitled to their parents’ assets. What’s fair is to write a will and leave things to whoever you want.
It sounds like they each one property while you got two.
It might not be fair, but that’s between them and their father, and has nothing to do with you.
I think what would be “fair” is for OP to get the business, and the other kids to get an equal value from other sources, with everything being split evenly in terms of value between all the kids. But that’s between the stepdad and his kids.
NTA.
NTA
Inheritances are 100% up to the person whose estate it is. “Fairness” has nothing to do with it unless the estate owner decides it should.
Your stepdad could decide to give 100% to charity and leave nothing to any of you, that would be his decision and would be right. What’s right or fair is up to him and ONLY him
Don’t waste time worrying about your stepsiblings.
Keep in mind your stepdad can change his mind up to the point of his demise. Unless he gifts the properties to you early, don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched. Also unless you’ve actually seen his will his words are just that, words. He might not have actually written down in a will that you get those properties (I’ve seen this happen where someone had talked about how they wanted their estate divided but died before they actually made a will… caused a big mess for their family and long drawn out probate.)
Absolutely NTA.
He gave you those because he wanted YOU to have them. Honor his wishes and his life’s work.
They are greedy and entitled.
Edited to complete comment.
NTA – why would you be?
Unless you secretly conspired to change his will – this is what he wants.
My grandma always favored my cousins. I never made an effort in her life to connect because I just never liked her. She died. She didn’t leave me shit. Oh well.
NTA. Your stepdad–who is just as much your dad as he is the dad of any of his other children–gave you the businesses. You didn’t take them. If they have a problem with the arrangement, their problem is with him.
NTA their problem is with him, not you. And if they are on you tell them that
Stepsiblings want what they did not contribute to. Guilt-free, man.
He gave them to you. gotta count for something.
If he’s not actively dying, you work at these places anyway and you’re old enough, I say you should buy him out right now (he can sell them below market rate or whatever). It’s not like he’d have to stop working there and then you won’t have to lawyer up and fight off relatives when he does pass away.
Nta- tell them to take it up with their pops
How old is your stepfather? Is he dying or something? If not and he is still planning on working for years to come, then all this is theoretically bs.
A lot can happen between now and when you would be inheriting the properties. He can sell everything, and poof nothing to divvy up. He can make you a partner in his business, with ownership.
Why even deal with this at this time?
NTA – it is(was) Step Dad’s to leave whomever, whatever he wanted.
NTA but to avoid inheritance fights he should put the properties in your name now
Ok, so I would like to play devils advocate here.
Because if he was such an active and present father too you, spending exorbitant amounts of time together since you were age 6, yet you barely know his 3 kids, that begs the question of how active a father he was too them? Then on top of that, he is giving you everything. Why did he not put energy into facilitating their knowledge as well?
There seems to be information missing here.. Because on one hand, you characterize him as a hero, but I am wondering if that’s the same to the biological children he has? And what his relationships there look like?
You don’t seem at all impartial because of the ways he did show up for you and don’t seem to at all question if he showed up that same way for his other children?
NTA, but if stepdad didn’t put them into something like an irrevocable trust then you may end up in probate.
NTA. At the end of the day a person is entitled to do what they want with their own assets. If he chose to give them all to his pet, that’s his business. They have no grounds to complain to you at all because it’s not your decision, it’s his.
He’s not dead yet, right??? Why are people mad at YOU? His kids can talk to him. Geeze
If you entered his life when you were 6 and have had a good relationship with him he likely views you as his own, plus he can give his stuff to whoever he wants anyway,
NTA
NTA. It was his desire to give you more than the others. He even has a justified sound reason for doing so.
Anybody who will fight you on this clearly do not love him as they do not want to see his wishes and desires executed.
NTA. They are splitting the other three, right?