I’m 24 years old(male) and I have a friend who’s 26 years old(male), who is the closest thing to a brother that friends can be. We’ve been friends for over 10 years, and I truly love him. But he’s always had problems with romantic relationships. He dated a girl for 5 years who clearly didn’t like him, and even though I tried to tell him that he should break up, he just didn’t listen. After those 5 years, this girl, who was already his wife at the time, cheated on him with a friend and left. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to make him realize he dodged a bullet, but only a month later, he started dating again. The new girl doesn’t hate him like the old one, but she’s also extremely selfish and has some anger issues. I was opposed to this new relationship from day 1, arguing that it was too soon to meet someone new after a 1-month breakup, but again, he didn’t care. A year went by, and this friend said he was going to marry this girl, and at the wedding, he pulled our closest group of friends aside and said that the girl was pregnant, not by accident, but because they thought it was the right time. My brain just froze, and while everybody looked at me, I stayed totally silent until everybody left. It created an awkward situation, and I understand that it’s not nice to have your best friend not even say congrats to you in a situation like this, but I really couldn’t react any other way. There are a lot of other details that make his decision even worse, but in the end, I know it’s his life. Am I the a**hole?
Ps: Sorry for the bag english, i can try to clarify anything someone dont understand
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I’m 24 years old, and I have a friend who’s 26 years old, who is the closest thing to a brother that friends can be. We’ve been friends for over 10 years, and I truly love him. But he’s always had problems with romantic relationships. He dated a girl for 5 years who clearly didn’t like him, and even though I tried to tell him that he should break up, he just didn’t listen. After those 5 years, this girl, who was already his wife at the time, cheated on him with a friend and left. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to make him realize he dodged a bullet, but only a month later, he started dating again. The new girl doesn’t hate him like the old one, but she’s also extremely selfish and has some anger issues. I was opposed to this new relationship from day 1, arguing that it was too soon to meet someone new after a 1-month breakup, but again, he didn’t care. A year went by, and this friend said he was going to marry this girl, and at the wedding, he pulled our closest group of friends aside and said that the girl was pregnant, not by accident, but because they thought it was the right time. My brain just froze, and while everybody looked at me, I stayed totally silent until everybody left. It created an awkward situation, and I understand that it’s not nice to have your best friend not even say congrats to you in a situation like this, but I really couldn’t react any other way. There are a lot of other details that make his decision even worse, but in the end, I know it’s his life. Am I the a**hole?
Ps: Sorry for the bag english, i can try to clarify anything someone dont understand
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The reason i question if im the asshole is that i understand is not nice to dont celebrate when your friend conquets something he really wants, but at the same time, i dont think he made good decisions and i dont know if i should support his decisions if i think they are bad
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Why are they all looking at you and not the person making the announcement? Why did they not say anything? Seems more awkward than AH. So NAH is my vote.
YTA, and you are way too involved in your friend’s romantic life. Step way, way, way back and let the poor man make his own choices and live his own life.
INFO: are you male or female?
Are you secretly in love with your friend? You seem to pass a lot of negative judgment on his choices. YTA for being judgy and too involved in his personal relationships.
Seeing as though you have stated you are male… NTA
But you might want to think about stepping back from this friend. He is either really really dumb, or I think, thinks he knows better than everyone else. Either way, people like this are emotionally draining. He won’t change and he is setting his life up for more hardships, but that is his choice. Your choice should be to distance yourself from a drama magnet of a person.
NTA Sometimes people tell you news and you just don’t know what to say, have nothing to say, can’t say anything. It’s a rule if you can’t say anything nice dont’ say anything at all. That being said you coulda at least faked a smile and half ass congrats regardless what you feel. Unless you have that relationship where he knows you’ll be straight to the point and blunt regardless of feelings the polite thing to do woulda been to fake smile.
My best friend is marrying the man she was the mistress for and broke up a marriage for and ruined our whole friendship group. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll fake smile and nod. She knows better than not ask too many questions atp if she wants to keep the peace.
INFO
I didn’t understand, actually
What exactly did you do and why did they look at you? Did you make any noise? Were they expecting any reaction from you?
YTA, Full stop.
NTA. My mama always told me if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.