So I recently sent my boyfriend a few sexy pictures. I don’t normally do that often, but I wanted to put myself out there for him and thought it would be a fun surprise.
His response? He texted back “it can be better.”
That stung, because I felt a little vulnerable sending them in the first place. … I was literally putting myself out there for him, trying to be vulnerable and hot for HIS eyes only, and that’s what I get? Not even a “damn you look amazing” first??
When I told him that really upset me, he immediately backtracked with “oh no, I obviously always think you’re hot, I just meant the angle/composition could be better.” Like okay dude, glad you think you’re suddenly Annie Leibovitz critiquing my thirst traps 🙄
Idk, it just felt so dismissive and unsexy. Instead of feeling desired, I felt judged. And now I’m questioning if I even want to bother again because who wants to feel graded when you’re trying to be intimate?
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? Am I right to be annoyed, or should I just brush it off as him being clueless?
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That would definitely bother me, I certainly would not be sending pics again
Tell him as a boyfriend he could be better
Think about what you want in a relationship
Guess who isn’t getting any more photos?
You can feel however you feel about it. But if you want to talk to him about how his remark made you feel, I’d recommend:
Waiting until you’re able to talk in-person
Remind him about the text, and share how it made you feel
Asking what he meant by his remark
Asking him to acknowledge your feelings on the matter, even if he didn’t mean any harm by it, and acknowledge his intentions, even if he said something hurtful
IF you two can get to a point of mutual understanding, offer to work with him on figuring out expectations for the future – when/where/how should feedback be provided in a way that’s more considerate of your feelings?
If he’s not willing to cooperate, he diminishes the importance of your feelings, or he tries to brush off or ignore this topic, then the other commenters may have some valid points.
Unsend that shit. He clearly doesn’t deserve the queen that is in front of him. Never again! Ew
He knew he was being insulting. Don’t be in denial.
Yeah I’ve dealt with this kind of thing, and usually that sort of judgement came in other areas of the relationship too. I left him and have never been happier
I would never send him pics again. Sending pics is vulnerable, and if he’s just going to criticize then why set yourself up to feel hurt again? If he asks for any just remind him that it will “probably be the wrong angle anyway.”
Honestly if a man ever said that to me, my immediate response would be like “okay, well guess who’s not getting anymore sexy pics again.”
Let him know. If he doesn’t change leave him and block him.
Seems like he’s negging you. Certainly don’t send him any more photos, and consider whether he’s been critical of you previously. Your partner should lift you up, not bring you down. Obviously I know nothing else about your relationship, but in isolation, it doesn’t seem like he’s a good guy.
Its kinda wild that he’s 31 and doesn’t know to tell the person sending nudes that they’re amazing. This is a lesson I learned pretty quick. Well now he knows better. Sometimes the nudes aren’t hot or they are kinda bad but its like, you just gotta deal with it lol
He doesn’t deserve to even be the one that is lucky enough to see with his 👀 ! He literally took one look and said cool o the angle 📐 off. Bs dudes a pos you deserve better and he clearly needs to get his checked
POS move.
You are right.
Can we see the pictures for research purposes to best advise you?
Lol no no I’m definitely playing… That’s pretty messed up for him to say that. He should have told you how sexy you looked and how much they turned him on. I’m sorry he reacted that way. I think you deserve more respect than that! If this isn’t a deal breaker for you, be sure he knows he won’t be getting anything else until he learns to respect you!
My partner once told me that pics of me wouldnt be enough. Nude or non- nude. He needed more and better visualization.
It took me awhile but once I processed it, i could never forget it again.
I bieve your BF didn’t mean harm. I also believe he is incredibly stupid.
I’d never send him anything again and I’d probably not want to have sex anymore honestly.
That’s fine, maybe he just doesn’t get pictures from you anymore. Don’t hold it over him like a threat though. Just let him know that his comments was hurtful and why, and then wait for him to ask for such photos before trying again.
Or he can send you pictures of himself showing the quality of photography he expects. XD
He was negging you.
You could, indeed, do better.
Better than him.
Don’t ever do this! When you break up these can be all over the Internet. Sent to your workplace, parents and much more.
His comments disgust me.
Its been my experience that these kind of moves backfire alot. The person initiating and the person receiving have very very different expectations.
What ? You don’t compare to the professional porn models he masturbates with ?