I am 19F and my boyfriend is 20M, we have been together 4 years.
Unfortunately this year I have spent the whole year in hospital (aside from like 3 weeks). I have an injury which means I’m having to relearn how to walk. So obviously this year has been hard for both of us, I feel horrible for putting him through this.
A few months ago I found gay dating apps on his phone, I didn’t manage to see if he was talking or meeting up with anyone, but I saw his profile and his preferences etc. I ignored it, I was very unwell at the time and I didn’t want to put more stress on myself.
But the thing is, he’s been helping me so much now I’ve been ill, he’s been doing whatever I ask, and supporting me financially. He has been amazing apart from the dating apps.
But before I was ill he would do quite weird things, like I’ve woken up a few times and he’s jacking off next to me whilst watching porn.
Like do I forgive him because obviously this year has been very hard on him because of what I’ve been going through, but I don’t think I could look past the betrayal and the hurt that I feel. This is awful . My question is, do I forgive him and move passed it or break up with him ?
Edit: the gay dating apps bit is irrelevant, Idc if he’s bi it’s just the fact he’s on a dating app.
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I think you should really think about this, and ask if he is bi it something. See the reason why he was in the app. And tell him it’s okay if he is bi, because it is. Then think about how you can really still appreciate him and love him the same as knowing his answer and what he did. If you can’t see yourself being able to forgive him or still love him the same way, it’s time to move on.
Ask for his phone, look at the chats to see what he did (e.g. sex, nudes, texting, meeting etc), it’s important for your health and decision making.
If you can forgive him, put the layout of what’s the relationship, his sexuality and the repercussions of this event.
Moreover, if you’re only staying with him from guilt or thankfulness, it’s not love. You will loose your time and energy on someone who you don’t even see a future with.
He gay
He’s gay. Thats OK. Sometimes people have difficulty admitting it to themselves. I would work towards getting better. Talk to him and try to be understanding but realize your relationship will probably end. I know it is hard but it’s best you found out now rather than when you’re married and have 3 kids. (This happened to my friend).
Do you have an open relationship? If not, why would he need dating apps? It sounds like he’s cheating on you, or trying to.
Leave him. The apps are a dealbreaker. Your health struggle is not a free pass for him to betray you. You deserve a partner who is faithful, not just “helpful.”
Is every man secretly gay? Stuff like this coming up so often now it’s unbelievable
Hes into men