My (27F) husband (28M) have a (2F) toddler who we were supposed to be taking apple picking today after I had been talking to her about it all week. We got a late start, and as soon as we got in the car my husband started whining about how far it was (1.5 hours) and made me park while he researched other farms we could go to (the one 1.5 hours away is the closest farm with apple picking). I told him I’d done the research already and most of the other farms were closed today, did not have apple picking, and also it’s raining in our area and not raining in the town we had planned to go to. He repeatedly complained and vetoed the apple picking. The argument got heated and I raised my voice at him saying i dont know any other husbands that would whine so much over something like this.
AITA for raising my voice at him? I feel like he ruined the entire morning.
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My (27F) husband (28M) have a (2F) toddler who we were supposed to be taking apple picking today after I had been talking to her about it all week. We got a late start, and as soon as we got in the car my husband started whining about how far it was (1.5 hours) and made me park while he researched other farms we could go to (the one 1.5 hours away is the closest farm with apple picking). I told him I’d done the research already and most of the other farms were closed today, did not have apple picking, and also it’s raining in our area and not raining in the town we had planned to go to. He repeatedly complained and vetoed the apple picking. The argument got heated and I raised my voice at him saying i dont know any other husbands that would whine so much over something like this.
AITA for raising my voice at him? I feel like he ruined the entire morning.
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> AITA for raising my voice at my husband in response to ruining our entire morning by complaining
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. It sounds like you have 2 toddlers.
NTA. Sometimes, you do things you don’t want to do for the sake of your kids.
His whiny a$$ should have stayed at home.
Go without him to your next events.
ESH. He didn’t want to go. He should have told you. You should have had him turn around and go home. I would have raised my voice, too, but then regretted it because of my toddler and because of the precedent it creates, that you can raise your voices at each other.
INFO: He was aware of all the details in advance, right?
NTA – I’m exhausted just reading this.
You plan something and get your child in the car and that’s when he decides to plan an alternative trip? At least for us we had limited time in the car before my toddler would start melting down so adding more time to 90 minutes would be a recipe for disaster.
He also doesn’t trust you and assumes you missed something obvious in your planning.
There are a number of husbands who make trips with their children unbearable by sabotaging them so you get to the point that you just leave them at home and do everything alone. It’s a recipe for a lot of loneliness
NTA but it’s never good to promise something to a child that is weather dependent or something that requires other people’s help. You sound like you like to keep your word but he likes to keep his weekend free. Good luck!
Nta but driving 1.5h with a toddler for an activity for you, not the child, would be a tough sell for me personally.
My daughter at 2 (she’s 3.5 now) jumped through my wifes hoops and it was painful. When she inevitably had a tantrum (or 4) the drive plus tension always made my wife and I argue.
NTA. This outting was for your toddler. Not for him. You already did the research and it honestly sounds like hes being a big baby about it and just should have stayed home if he was goinf to be that miserable. My ex husband used to do this. Hes my ex now for a reason. Best of luck.
NTA but seems like only one of your toddlers was excited about it
Dude. Driving 3 hours round trip to pick apples with a toddler? That sounds awful to me. He should have stayed home to watch the game – OP wanted to go and would have had more fun alone.
I would have told him to get out of the car and had a great time with my kid. Then, handle his tantrum later. Do you best not to yell. I’m learning it’s a form of abuse.
As someone who grew up in a household with lots of yelling between my parents, I would say that you’re not an asshole for putting him in his place, but if you yelled at him in front of your child, then ESH. Especially at such a young age, fighting like that can lead to so many problems with development into adulthood.
NTA. Your husband sounds really selfish and immature.
NTA, he’s was acting like a right nob.
NTA
He ruined an outing for a literal child because he wanted to be a whiny baby. Next time don’t bring him at all.
YTA
Your 2 year old will not care one bit about this experience and will not remember it at all. Driving 3 hours on one of my few days off to pull apples off a tree would annoy the hell out of me after the week I have had. Spend time with your toddler out of the car. You can pull stuff off of trees anywhere.
This wasn’t about the 2 year old. It was about you. Maybe it sounded good in theory but have you considered that he might want to spend time with his child on a day off that doesn’t have to be instagram ready?
How many trips does he take just to get pictures of you being a mom?
And to top it off, you yelled at him in front of the kid.
Going against the grain and saying ESH. Your husband is a whiny baby but it’s honestly never okay to raise your voice at your partner, especially in front of your kid. And 1.5 hours each way is a crazy drive for apple picking no matter what but especially with a toddler. I kind of get why your husband was pushing back.
1.5 hours in a car with a 2-year-old sounds awful though. Don’t you have neighbours with an apple tree that could let you take one or two?
It’s literally picking fruit off the ground and telling the kid “see the apples in the trees? That’s how apples grow”
NTA if he didn’t want to go then he shouldn’t have went and ruined it for everyone.
NTA. Next time tell him to stay home if he is just going to complain,but realize he’s going to be missing out on these moments with his kid.
Sounds like you’re both the AH. Did you talk to him about this trip? Sounds like he didn’t want to go and you were forcing him.
Wow. He sounds like the AH.
Did you not discuss these plans beforehand?