I’m living in a shared house where I moved in just 3 weeks ago for my first semester at uni and one of my housemates is showing some really inconsiderate behavior. Two incidents have happened recently.
The most recent incident was in the laundry room today. I went to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer. When I got there, I saw my housemate standing near the machines. I didn’t know someone had already moved my clothes inside the dryer for me, so I reached into the washer to get what I thought was my stuff. He immediately said, “Yo, they’re mine.” I was confused, but then saw my clothes were already in the dryer. I simply started the dryer and went back inside my room. A little while later, I overheard him telling someone else that I was “fucking retarded” and that I had “tried to take his clothes.” I only went to the washer and had my hand near it or slightly inside to take the clothes out and put them in the dryer cuz I thought they were mine(I didn’t know someone else already put them in the dryer for me), and from my room upstairs I overheard the guy say that I took his clothes out??
This felt like a huge overreaction, especially because of what he did a few days ago. In the evening, he locked the main entrance door to the house while several of us were still out. He then went to take a long shower. I was locked out and couldn’t get in. I texted him and called him multiple times with no reply and ended up having to walk all the way to my university campus just to have a place to wait. He never answered my texts, and never apologized or even acknowledged it.
So, he thinks it’s okay to lock me out of the house without a word, but I make an honest, two-second mistake with the laundry and I’m a “retard” trying to steal his clothes?
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I’m living in a shared house and one of my housemates is showing some really inconsiderate behavior. Two incidents have happened recently.
The most recent incident was in the laundry room today. I went to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer. When I got there, I saw my housemate standing near the machines. I didn’t know someone had already moved my clothes inside the dryer for me, so I reached into the washer to get what I thought was my stuff. He immediately said, “Yo, they’re mine.” I was confused, but then saw my clothes were already in the dryer. I simply started the dryer and went back inside my room. A little while later, I overheard him telling someone else that I was “fucking retarded” and that I had “tried to take his clothes.” I only went to the washer and had my hand near it or slightly inside to take the clothes out and put them in the dryer cuz I thought they were mine(I didn’t know someone else already put them in the dryer for me), and from my room upstairs I overheard the guy say that I took his clothes out??
This felt like a huge overreaction, especially because of what he did a few days ago. In the evening, he locked the main entrance door to the house while several of us were still out. He then went to take a long shower. I was locked out and couldn’t get in. I texted him and called him multiple times with no reply and ended up having to walk all the way to my university campus just to have a place to wait. He never answered my texts, and never apologized or even acknowledged it.
So, he thinks it’s okay to lock me out of the house without a word, but I make an honest, two-second mistake with the laundry and I’m a “retard” trying to steal his clothes?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I reached into the washing machine and almost took my housemate’s clothes without confirming they were mine first. This action could be seen as careless and an invasion of his personal space because I handled his property without permission.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I lived with someone like that in my first semester.
Not only creating a conflict out of thin air but also jumping to the fifth level of conflict escalation right away.
Just move out if you can, this is not worth it and will only get worse.
NTA. Your housemate is. He should have told you he moved your clothes—your checking wasn’t an issue. Locking you out and not responding is a dick move. Keep your key with you and get rid of this housemate as soon as you can.
NTA your roommate is, sounds extremely hostile and like he wants to fight with you.
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What? You don’t have the keys to your own house? I can’t say that I blame anyone who locks their home prior to taking a shower – no matter how long it takes. It’s fair to assume that the housemates have their own keys and will use them to get in.
Calling you a name is way over the top. However, you saw him standing by the laundry but you didn’t think to ask/thank him if/for putting your clothes into the dryer while his were washing?
ESH. I get it, you’re learning; and his name calling is insulting. But you’re also choosing to interpret his actions in the worst light ever while, as we’re all prone to do, giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.
NTA. But why don’t you have keys to the house? This roommate seems like he’s itching for a fight. I’d find a new place to live ASAP.
NTA. If you haven’t signed the lease, move in with someone else.
NTA. Is there an RA or the like to go to for help. He sounds hostile.