My partner 28f refuses to believe that I 28m love her. It’s been 5 years and no matter how much I tell her she doesn’t believe it. We have a therapist who tried as well and that didn’t help. I do her love languages of touch and give her gifts/notes all the time.
If I try and talk to her about how hard this is she breaks down and cries like crazy. I can’t even get an answer of how can I show I love her at this point in time. I’m unsure of what else to even do.
TLDR: GF won’t believe I love her no matter what I do and won’t talk to me about this issue
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Are you emotionally available and do you have an active sex life? Need more context tbh
Is it because she wants to be married by now and you haven’t made that move?
Marry her. Or as if it’s something she’s interested in.
If you aren’t interested after 5 years, or aren’t interested in marrying ever, tell her that.
Its been 5 years. Marry her if you truly love her or move on.
Has she ever told you what love feels like or what she imagines it to be? Maybe she has some sort of past experience or traumatic events that shaped that word/feeling into something else. Honestly she needs to give her input or you can prove you do by stopping doing the things you already do. Is that manipulative? Yes. Sometimes it’s fair to be mean to protect yourself though. But here’s hoping it doesn’t come to that… I wouldn’t be willing to go that far personally but I’ve seen others describe that method working in near divorce relationships.
Sounds like an undiagnosed personality disorder. My money is on BPD. Move on.
This sounds absolutely exhausting. Why would you want to be with someone that you can never do enough for?
Sounds like you aren’t showing her love in the way she needs to be loved.
She doesn’t want you to just propose to solve the problem because that isn’t a solution.
She wants you to make her feel like you love her and show her love.
If you can’t do that, let her go so someone else can.
My wife uses that as an excuse when she’s caught doing something very wrong.