First time posting here so sorry for any mistakes and what not.
So me (32f), my boyfriend (31m) of 9 years and his friend (let’s call him Mike) went to a concert today. We were having a lot of fun, but at some point my boyfriend left to another room.
He was already drunk quite a bit so I asked him to eat something and chill with the drinking a bit. He ate some peanuts but kept on drinking beer.
I went back to the concert and after a wrote him a msg asking if he was okay, he didn’t respond so I went looking for him and found him in a different room – at the karaoke.
My boyfriend loves to sing, he is not bad at it, but he tends to scream and get louder the more beer he has flowing in his veins.
After the first song I told him to hold his mic further from his face, because it was getting really loud at times, he was basically screaming into the mice held less than an inch from his mouth and the noise was defening. Other people were having fun, but it also made them a bit uncomfortable.
He sang 4 more songs, after each I asked him politely to keep the mic further, he was too excited about the singing and the people clapping to listen. I feel bad for raining on his parade but it really was bothering (at least) me how loud it was. After 5th song I decided to leave, it was too much for me to handle, he was getting more and more loud, more drunk, so I left him with Mike (he said he will take care of him – we’ll see about that tho). He started apologizing to me with a sad puppy demeanor that he “sings badly” which was never my point, I just wanted him to sing more pleasantly for all of the listeners.
He seemed sad and broken, but I believe I really wasn’t asking too much of him – he could’ve either slow down with the drinking (and thus not scream so much) or keep the mic further away (so his screams would be less annoying).
Or should I just let him scream bloody murder and I’m just a party pooper and was too harsh?
AITA?
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First time posting here so sorry for any mistakes and what not.
So me (32f), my boyfriend (31m) of 9 years and his friend (let’s call him Mike) went to a concert today. We were having a lot of fun, but at some point my boyfriend left to another room.
He was already drunk quite a bit so I asked him to eat something and chill with the drinking a bit. He ate some peanuts but kept on drinking beer.
I went back to the concert and after a wrote him a msg asking if he was okay, he didn’t respond so I went looking for him and found him in a different room – at the karaoke.
My boyfriend loves to sing, he is not bad at it, but he tends to scream and get louder the more beer he has flowing in his veins.
After the first song I told him to hold his mic further from his face, because it was getting really loud at times, he was basically screaming into the mice held less than an inch from his mouth and the noise was defening. Other people were having fun, but it also made them a bit uncomfortable.
He sang 4 more songs, after each I asked him politely to keep the mic further, he was too excited about the singing and the people clapping to listen. I feel bad for raining on his parade but it really was bothering (at least) me how loud it was. After 5th song I decided to leave, it was too much for me to handle, he was getting more and more loud, more drunk, so I left him with Mike (he said he will take care of him – we’ll see about that tho). He started apologizing to me with a sad puppy demeanor that he “sings badly” which was never my point, I just wanted him to sing more pleasantly for all of the listeners.
He seemed sad and broken, but I believe I really wasn’t asking too much of him – he could’ve either slow down with the drinking (and thus not scream so much) or keep the mic further away (so his screams would be less annoying).
Or should I just let him scream bloody murder and I’m just a party pooper and was too harsh?
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I said my bf’s singing was too loud and asked him repeteadly to stop screaming at the mic.
2) Karaoke is for fun and people should be abke to express themselves freely over there and I took that away from him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH. You weren’t rude about it and you tried to remind him multiple times. That being said, he WAS drunk and clearly very excited, which isn’t usually conducive to listening. Nobody’s in the wrong here. Have a conversation with him next time you see him before you go anywhere so that boundaries can be set so it doesn’t happen again
Info – you say people were uncomfortable but also that people were clapping and having fun while he was singing. So which is it? It’s karaoke, for the most part it’s kinds supposed to be ridiculous
In my opinion YTA, the guy was out having fun, the singing might have felt uncomfortable for you but most of the time Karaoke singing is either terrible or really uncomfortable for other people.
Although you likely didn’t mean it, you’ve come across as a person that doesn’t like it when they don’t get their own way, should have said about it once then just let him have his fun, you’re not a Karaoke rulemaker, so just let him enjoy whatever he wants to do.
Hope it’s a lesson in the live and let live way of life, if others were booing him or giving him grief, you would’ve had more of a point, the post has just come across as a little bit of a buzzkill.
Ultimately hope that you all enjoyed your night in the end though.
YTA. its just karaoke- ive watched worse performances im sure. sounds like he just gave you the ick. let the man have fun who cares
ESH. You don’t need to control his singing or microphone holding skills; the karaoke jock should really assist, or the crowd. But he needs to have some social awareness too, or know his limits, as he possibly made for unpleasant listening and experience for those around.
People were there to have fun. And they knew that he was drunk and as you said they were enjoying it. Trust me if they weren’t enjoying that, they would have stopped him after one song and not listened to 5 songs. Only person here who wasn’t enjoying was you. And you could have ignored it for the sake of him.
Offcourse he was drunk, what do you expect? People were enjoying the songs that’s why he was able to sing 5 songs. Otherwise they would have stopped him after 1st song. So only person not enjoying the song was you and you could have ignored it for his sake.
YTA
Or should I just let him scream bloody murder and I’m just a party pooper and was too harsh?
The above. It was his time to shine ✨ whatever state he wanted to be in. Not to sound harsh your his partner and lifetime friend not his mother. I would have found it hilarious to be fair and let him get more drunk and sang 5 more songs u til he starts to sound like Michael buble 😉🤭 #notafan
YTA. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, no one was complaining about him. Everyone was probably as drunk as him. You clearly are the type of person who on emails goes “on behalf of us” when complaining, but there is no us, only you.
YTA. I think your overestimating how much it bothered other people. You even said they were clapping. I think it’s something you would be embarrassed about if it were you but it may not necessarily bother other people.
ESH
This is unnecessarily controlling, IMO. Karaoke is to be bad and you totally yucked his yuk. You should learn to let it go.
It sounds like you’re possibly more mad that he was getting sloppy, which is understandable. Managing someone as they wander off drunk and be sloppy isn’t the vibe you were looking for.
I think two items jump out at me: 1. your BF’s age, because most people outgrow getting very drunk by the time they’re 22, let alone 32, and 2. He’s a BF after 9 years, which seems a very long time to not commit to marriage. I’m old-fashioned and believe in marriage, what if you got sick, he can’t make medical decisions for you, for example. But you’re NTA for trying to get him to scream less as he sang and for leaving.
Maybe you don’t like him. Esh
YTA. It really sounds like you were the only one who cared.
Maybe you should get more drunk. That would probably solve the issue.
Sloppy drunk karaoke couples always seem elated to be around each other lmao
You sound exhausting
YTA
NTA, but be advised your boyfriend is a drunk, er, has an alcohol problem. Whichever way you might choose to say it, it’s a whole lot bigger than how he sings. That’s more of a symptom than a root problem.
Eh, I think YTA.
>I just wanted him to sing more pleasantly for all of the listeners.
It really seems like you were embarrassed and so you were trying to control him and get him to tone it down. You don’t need to do that.
NTA. I know how you felt, because I used to date a binge drinker. It’s fun for other people who aren’t with the person who drinks too much and gets a little too loud all night. That’s not their partner who can’t control himself. Sometimes it’s fun and sometimes it’s too much and they can never tell and you never know how any given night will turn out.
I think YTA here. Karaoke is mostly a loud, drunken activity. From your own description, the crowd was having a good time. Let your BF enjoy his loud, drunken karaoke singing.
YTA
All karaoke machines come with a volume knob, so you should have whined and nagged at whoever was controlling it, and not your boyfriend. He was pretty much having the definition of fun when it comes to Karaoke…and you ruined it.
YTA
sounds like you are a controlling AH. Why ruin it for him? he was fine – everybody else was having fun, it was just you who tried to ruin it.
NTA. That sounds painful to listen to and other people were for sure thinking the same thing since you said the vibes were getting worse as he got more obnoxious with it. And being around sloppy drunk people is unpleasant on its own and it’s embarrassing when you’re associated with them.
You were the only one complaining. YTA Let him have his fun.
Let the karaoke DJ do that stuff. He or she is used to having drunks at the mic and hopefully knows how to handle them.
YTA and you knew it as soon as you typed the first paragraph.
NAH – you don’t enjoy this activity with him. He doesn’t enjoy this activity with you (because he can tell you’re uncomfortable). That’s not a dealbreaking relationship issue unless the couple chooses to make it one. In the future, Mike can be his karaoke buddy, and you can schedule something fun with a friend for those evenings. You and your boyfriend can find something else to be your fun couples’ activity. This way, you don’t have to become accessory to a drunken hooligan, and he gets to holler to his heart’s content.
YTA. Bloody-murder screaming, drunken karaoke singing is exactly what the crowd wanted and they supported it by demanding four encores. Your advice was neither necessary nor welcome. It was mean spirited.
“…I asked him politely…” Nope. Not polite and repeating your request more than once is very rude.
“….a sad puppy demeanor…” “He seemed sad and broken…” Do you even like this guy? You are so condescending and dismissive of him. He’s a man who gets drunk and acts out. You know this, but you are acting as if he could/should behave differently.
You failed big time and owe your bf an apology.
I cannot stand drunks, bad singing and loud karaoke bars, but I get why other people do it and why people love to watch it. I don’t, so I leave and let them have their fun. That’s what you need to do next time you find yourself in a similar situation.