Context: I (20 M) work at a koi shop relatively new and I’m pretty good with most things and have background in aquariums but not pond so I’m still learning that end. I’m also very high functioning autistic so I tend to over explain and don’t always notice things, and am super uncomfortable with touching.
About two weeks ago I had a new customer come in (clearly had money and just wanted to spend it) and said he was building a pond and asked for liner tips. I was talking and the conversation moved to filtration and I showed him the options and gave him the pros and cons. He at one point asked me where a skimmer should be so I tried explaining it but he kept getting confused by my explaining so I took out a notepad and just drew a small diagram for him. He also buys a bunch of stuff the next day and as a courtesy I help deliver to his house. This whole time he is calling me an expert at koi and making me really uncomfortable with how touchey he is. I help him unpack things and then he asks me to take a look at his pond I’m uncomfortable so I tell him I’m not experienced in that and he says to stop being so humble. He pushes me out the door and I’m getting a panic attack. There he has three guys who don’t speak English there putting in the skimmer box and and I’m just staying there monitoring as them just giving them basic tips like make sure to keep the skimmer in the pond liner and simple things like that. I have him remove a double waterfall and just do one which he ended up putting next to the skimmer which basically ends up making it inefficient. I’m trying to keep my composure and just leave so I didn’t notice. When I finally leave he again asked if it looked good and I said idk this stuff well enough to say yes and he then tried to get me to come daily to visit him at first as a construction manager then when I said my job doesn’t allow that (don’t know if it does might be wrong just needed an excuse) he tried to get me to come over as a “friend”. I eventually leave and text my boss everything.
Well 2 weeks later he comes in again and pissed off at me that I got the skimmer in the wrong place and explains how he spent 2000 fixing that mistake. I apologize at the time but when he left I was asking my boss does he seriously blame me and my boss says that I did tell him the skimmer was in the right spot. I told my boss that I said I wasn’t an expert and he kinda shrugged it off. It was an hour later I realized I had drawn that diagram and showed my boss that I knew the basics. He seemed to be more on my side at that point but still seemed bothered.
So multiple questions
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Despite me telling him I’m not an expert is that enough for me to be blamed
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Should I try to explain more to my boss or should I just leave it where it is with all the evidence clear on my side.
Comments
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Context: I (20 M) work at a koi shop relatively new and I’m pretty good with most things and have background in aquariums but not pond so I’m still learning that end. I’m also very high functioning autistic so I tend to over explain and don’t always notice things, and am super uncomfortable with touching.
About two weeks ago I had a new customer come in (clearly had money and just wanted to spend it) and said he was building a pond and asked for liner tips. I was talking and the conversation moved to filtration and I showed him the options and gave him the pros and cons. He at one point asked me where a skimmer should be so I tried explaining it but he kept getting confused by my explaining so I took out a notepad and just drew a small diagram for him. He also buys a bunch of stuff the next day and as a courtesy I help deliver to his house. This whole time he is calling me an expert at koi and making me really uncomfortable with how touchey he is. I help him unpack things and then he asks me to take a look at his pond I’m uncomfortable so I tell him I’m not experienced in that and he says to stop being so humble. He pushes me out the door and I’m getting a panic attack. There he has three guys who don’t speak English there putting in the skimmer box and and I’m just staying there monitoring as them just giving them basic tips like make sure to keep the skimmer in the pond liner and simple things like that. I have him remove a double waterfall and just do one which he ended up putting next to the skimmer which basically ends up making it inefficient. I’m trying to keep my composure and just leave so I didn’t notice. When I finally leave he again asked if it looked good and I said idk this stuff well enough to say yes and he then tried to get me to come daily to visit him at first as a construction manager then when I said my job doesn’t allow that (don’t know if it does might be wrong just needed an excuse) he tried to get me to come over as a “friend”. I eventually leave and text my boss everything.
Well 2 weeks later he comes in again and pissed off at me that I got the skimmer in the wrong place and explains how he spent 2000 fixing that mistake. I apologize at the time but when he left I was asking my boss does he seriously blame me and my boss says that I did tell him the skimmer was in the right spot. I told my boss that I said I wasn’t an expert and he kinda shrugged it off. It was an hour later I realized I had drawn that diagram and showed my boss that I knew the basics. He seemed to be more on my side at that point but still seemed bothered.
So multiple questions
Despite me telling him I’m not an expert is that enough for me to be blamed
Should I try to explain more to my boss or should I just leave it where it is with all the evidence clear on my side.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am autistic and can’t clearly tell if I’m in the wrong. I didn’t notice a mistake and am curious as to what amount of responsibility is my fault in the end.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA Firstly recognize that you did nothing wrong and that is abnormal behavior from a customer, it is both inappropriate and frankly creepy as hell and whichever way you look at it they tried to take advantage of you.
I would ask your boss to either ban the customer or at least make sure he serves him in future, do not agree to go to their home for any reason including just dropping equipment off and no the skimmer thing was not at all your fault.
ESH
when you heard he said he’s building a pond, you should’ve asked another person who has the experience in pond, instead of trying to make the sale yourself
him, creepy as hell.
ESH. He’s weird, for sure, but you really opted into this at every step.
ESH. You didn’t notice that the skimmer was in a spot that makes it inefficient. It’s not that you are not an expert, it’s that you were too focused on how you felt to do your job.
He shouldn’t have pushed so hard.
NTA. At all. This customer is creepy and you told him you’re not expert. Plus you told him not to put the waterfall next to the skimmer because it would make it not work right. That’s his own fault for not listening. Ask your boss to deal with him from now on because he makes you uncomfortable.