To give a little back story, my wife and 2 kids moved back to TN to be closer to family about 2 months ago. Because of this I had to find a new job in that area. I came across a job position for a branch manager but it required me to go to NC for training for a few months. That being said we made this move so it would be easier for her to work and do something other than be a mother, which I’m all for. The reason we got into a fight is because I have asked her 3 separate times to set aside time for me in her busy week. Mind you this is over a period of a month and a half maybe more. I got really short with he last night and said she has put in the least amount of effort into talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much 30min-1hr once or twice a week whatever she can give me and I would adjust my schedule to since hers is so tight.
I have tried explaining to her that I feel like I’m just here when she thinks it’s convenient to talk to me. And it feels like crap when she finds time to do all these other fun things with her parents, sisters, our kids. There is always an excuse not to talk to me, and I got angry and snapped at her. So yeah… AITA.
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To give a little back story, my wife and 2 kids moved back to TN to be closer to family about 2 months ago. Because of this I had to find a new job in that area. I came across a job position for a branch manager but it required me to go to NC for training for a few months. That being said we made this move so it would be easier for her to work and do something other than be a mother, which I’m all for. The reason we got into a fight is because I have asked her 3 separate times to set aside time for me in her busy week. Mind you this is over a period of a month and a half maybe more. I got really short with he last night and said she has put in the least amount of effort into talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much 30min-1hr once or twice a week whatever she can give me and I would adjust my schedule to since hers is so tight.
I have tried explaining to her that I feel like I’m just here when she thinks it’s convenient to talk to me. And it feels like crap when she finds time to do all these other fun things with her parents, sisters, our kids. There is always an excuse not to talk to me, and I got angry and snapped at her. So yeah… AITA.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was angry and snapped at my wife. Do I really need to explain why that might make me the asshole.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO
How are the two of you at sharing the mental and physical loads of the marriage/family/relationship?
nta generally has your wife not seen her family in a while and are we talking face time or a phone call because my wife manages a two hour phone call with me twice a week while she does the laundry when I am traveling for work this call time includes talking to the midgets for a good hour too so …. seem like she really is not making an effort to keep in touch with you are you able to talk to your kids on the regular of is she not setting up calls you you and them either
NTA. I think your wife either doesnt like you or is acting very passive aggressive because you left to go do training. either way you need to talk to her about this or get couple’s counseling
NTA. She is so happy to be back near her family, and they are too, they are overscheduling together time. Initiate a standing Friday night date, and if you can, take a walk together every day after work, even for half an hour. If the kids are small, take them, too. Or ask her parents to babysit every Sunday afternoon, and the two of you spend the time together. You have to do the organizing if you want it done.
If she has to tell you, it’s not help. If your help amounts to weekends because… work, while she …works, and handles the house, you’re not pulling your weight. If she has to notice when the trash is full and ask, what else has she stopped asking you to do? Why is it she can get the weekday jobs done all week with no one telling her, but you need her behind you like a mother reminding you? Women don’t want to be single mothers, but if their spouse is just another kid they have to care for? Well it’s really hard to feel sexual attraction for someone who treats you like their mother. Try some chorplay before the foreplay.
Info: how were things before the move?
It seems weird that your wife and kids would move without you rather than waiting for you to find a job and all moving together.