Long story short, i met a lovely woman last week. Shared a few laughs, made some music at that event and later on went to a friend his place to just chill for a bit. She had a few drinks, but nothing fancy. Yet she was pretty touchy feely. Not inappropriately, but things like touching my arm while laughing, making eye contact a lot. That stuff.
Anyway. We say goodbye and a few days later she asks me when i want to hang out again to work on some music stuff. That was yesterday.
The time FLEW by, she was supposed to hang out for about 2? Hours or so, that turned in to 6. And while she wasn’t as touchy feely there still was a ton of eye contact and she laughed at all my stupid attempts at jokes. We bonded over our mutual interest in Disney, and our love of music.
Around the evening she tells me “i’m going home, going to eat and i’ll catch you later” now here’s the thing.. Not even 2 Minutes later she calls me “you know, instead of me just eating alone and watch a movie alone, i can also eat something with you and watch a movie with you, right? Unless you want to be alone” so here my heart starts racing, right? “Sure, let’s do that!”
While we were watching the movie nothing happened, but… She also doesn’t mind us sitting next to each other on the couch. Sounds weird, but you know…. It didn’t feel “awkward” or anything.
Anyway, movie ends. We end the evening, i kiss her on the cheek and that’s where my insecurities come around the corner. All of a sudden, the moment she left. My brain was like “what if she has a boyfriend” “what if she’s like this with all her friends?” “what if she’s just touchy feely because that’s how she is?!”
Yet i’m absolutely comfortable with myself around her, my mask is off, my guard is down. That’s rare for me.
So, i’m making myself crazy unfortunately.
Any advice on what you would think/do in a situation like this? Like.. Am i completely missing something, or?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She likes you. Ask her out again and this time ask if you can kiss her.
Sounds like she likes you a lot. Ask her out because you clearly like her too. Maybe start with, ‘I’m single and I probably should have asked you before but are you?’
Hope it works out š
Next time try to make a move during the movie
She’s begging for you to step up and make a move
Youāre over thinking things. Sheās clearly into you and is flirting.
Develop some self confidence.
This is the plot of one of those cringe anime Mangas
Bro, get with the program and make your moves before she bounces.
You can’t be so oblivious of her feelings.
Ask her out on a date! Make sure you use the word date to make your intentions clear
Broā¦
Donāt fumble this.
You have already screwed up by not going in for a real kiss at some point when she invited you over for dinner.
She probably thinks you donāt really like her because you didnāt do shit when she was flashing all green lights. You need to message or call her now, let her know you like her and set up a real ādateā. And make a move on the date.
If you sit back and wait for her to show more interest before you take charge, youāre a fool.
There’s absolutely no point doing nothing and torturing yourself about it.
Just message her and say “I’ve really been enjoying spending time with you, would you like to go on an official date soon?” or similar.
It sounds like you met someone at a party, realized you were both interested in eachother and had a great date with 2 parts with increasing intimacy. If you feel like sheās in to you she probably is. Most people arenāt lying cheaters behind a perfect mask. Go out on another date. You canāt really know what she wants, but you can definitely know what you want and can act accordingly. If you want to keep moving forward, ask her out again and gradually add some nonsexual touch. If she leans in to you and keeps telling you yes when you ask her out, then good on you. If she does all this then later clarifies that she has a bf and cuddles with all her friends then you know that you want to step back from the situation. After a few dates you can tell her you like her and ask her how she feels. Most people want to meet someone and be in a healthy relationship with a partner they love and trust.
Take your time and get to know her.. sheās interested.
i mean this in the nicest way possible. stop being a pussy about this. go with the flow and see what happens
She OBVIOUSLY likes you and also checking to see how you respond to her little flirty actions but not trying to be inappropriate at the same time.
And all you need to do is ASK if she is seeing somebody.
This is awesome! Just be open with her she clearly likes you!
Dude, what do you need, a flashing green light on her forehead?
GET OFF REDDIT UNTIL YOU CAN TELL US THAT YOU HAVE ASKED HER OUT!
Dear OP
I can understand that you are not too sure about her feelings, however the way you have told it makes it sound like she is very obviously interested. Her calling you two minutes after you departed – thatās like something out of a rom com!
There is some great suggestions on how to express your interest and confirm hers. Do so and then update this post, please!
Sending you good vibes across the interwebs.Ā
Dude she wouldnāt be there if she didnāt want to! Invite her round and make a move! Be brave big boy.
lol.
Itās like some of you guys have never met women before.
She likes you. Ask her out. As long as sheās single have fun.
Be a grown up and use your words. Ask her where sheās at in life regarding relationships first. Then youāll know if sheās single. Ask what sheās looking for. See if it matches what youāre looking for. Go from there. Sounds like she really likes you to me.
She’s about to stop waiting for you to make a move and head elsewhere.
I love that no matter if we’re 18 or 30, men are always clueless when someone likes us at first š
Hey Man, you’ve got a girlfriend on your hands. Move a little faster. She wide open to your advances. Romance her. Kiss her. Hug her. And…
Well, she’s yours.
Sounds like how I met my husband. Iām also 3 years older than him. Youāre grown ups. If you like her, just ask her out.
Oh my goodness you poor man.Ā You are oblivious.Ā She would not have asked you to dinner and a movie if she didn’t like you, a lot.Ā Don’t screw this up.Ā Get on your phone right this minute and ask her out. She’s waiting for you.Ā Ā
Youāve Overthinking this. Yes, capital o.
Hey bud, she likes you a lot and I think she would have told you if she had a bf. Go get her
It’s on! She’s into you for sure, but don’t take anything for granted. Ask her out on an actual date. I’m on your side here, this could be an amazing thing, it sounds like you two are quite a possible thing.
Coming from someone who has been struggling with his insecurities his entire life and lost quite a few battles. Go for it. You’ll never know if you never ask. Take some liquid courage if that helps, but don’t let the self-doubt win. I did that too many times, and it sucks. I might be a lost cause, but I’ll be damned if I don’t try and encourage others to go with their hearts.
you are over thinking this. Don’t actblike a teenager and the next time you hang out with her, kiss her and be a man.
How can she be any more clear than this? The sad reality is men are missing these chances cause they canāt step up. They canāt be bold. And girls love to see that. Then we are like ā ohhh tf i have to ask out then.ā But like it is not ideal. If you donāt step up soon, sheāll move on. Donāt be in your head. Just ask, make plans. If she has a boyfriend, or she doesnāt like you, sheāll say no.
Don’t tell us, tell her you think she’s lovely and will she date you
if she likes you and you like her, it’ll work out. just be straightforward with your feelings and dont play any mind games. if you like her, tell her!
If only there were some clues
If she has a boyfriend, she isnāt spending 8+ hours with a guy she just met. Stop putting up walls that donāt exist and clarify your intentions.
Ask her questions. Communicate āHey Iām really enjoying hanging out with you. You donāt have a boyfriend right? ā
Take the lead, but slow roll.
Why donāt people just talk, ask direct questions? Whats the worst thing that can happen.. you get a response you donāt like.. so what š¤·āāļø at least you know whats up, instead of now you just make yourself crazy with all the āassumptioningā..
Next time just ask what you want to know š
C) can’t tell
āAm I completely missing something?ā
Ah yeah, she was clearly coming on to you and you missed it.
She invited you to poundtown and you took a pass Sparky.
One of two things
Put the poor women out of her misery and ask her out God dammit!
All I see or here is a girl like you a lot she hinted you kind of took the hints. What if she has a boyfriend? What if she does this with her friends come on now youāre overthinking it. She likes you most likely so just go with it.
Please ask her out on an official date. She likes you!
OP, take a deep breath. Donāt overthink yourself out of a potentially good thing before it even gets off the ground. She obviously likes you, you like her. Ask her out on a proper date. Let us know how it goes.
If a woman spends time alone with you, and she could have avoided it, she likes you.
Don’t over think this. She likes you
Continue to be yourself.
Let her see the real you. This should be easy and fun.
Ask her out, soon, not in 2 weeks.
Start with something short and quick like lunch, coffee, or ice cream. Start communicating via phone and text. See how the friendship evolved.
Don’t act on the conflict in your brain. When you get ready, ask her if she would consider an exclusive relationship with you?
Why not just ask her if sheās single? Why not just ask her on an official date? Why not just get these questions answered?
Dudeā¦ā¦..
is she into you?
Try not to think too much. Just enjoy your time with her. Life is like a film you’re watching of yourself. You can’t control what will happen, but you can always do your best as a human being.
She likes you. Listen I’m going to explain something to you that most men don’t understand. To find out how far you can go with a girl you start with an light touch and escalate from there based on her reaction.
Hand on shoulder or arm while laughing or something. She reciprocates? Great. She’s responding well to light touching? Next you put arm around her, maybe a light shoulder massage just a few squeezes if you’re behind her and she’s sitting down. You get it. And if she recoils and doesn’t encourage you to continue escalation with her body language or words you stop. Otherwise keep going until you’ve got your arm around her. You can even ask if it’s okay.
Once I was sitting beside a girl who I’ve known a while watching something with a group and we were right up against each other. She was laughing alot at me and mirroring my body language so I put my arm around her and asked ‘is this okay?’ and she said yes and we went from there.
Start with very light non sexual touching and escalate a little bit each time so long as she’s encouraging it and eventually you’ll be stonewalled or get to a kiss depending on what she wants to do.
Good luck.
Sounds like a connection and I think you should see where it goes! If you have questions ask her! I doubt she has a boyfriend if she is inviting you to dinner. Hope it works out!
You should’ve taken action and kissed her, then kissed her some more.
Hey, sheās Canadian right?
Right?
damn kid how much more obvious does she need to be ???
i would not be doing all that with you if i had a bf
Breathe.
Go for a walk.
Call her up
Sounds like she wants to hang out and get to know you better because she likes you.
The massive green flag you missed originally was her saying she was going home to watch a movie and eat. That, in a romanitic sense would have been your chance to say “well how about staying here and having food with me” but you missed it. And in an epic move of kindness and lets face it, ballsyness, she asked you on a date in your own place, after she had left.
Ring her and tell her you are looking forward to seeing her again and you’ve been thinking about her, and sorry for being a bit slow (in a self depreciation way).