I have a 13 year old nephew that was never really a nice kid. He likes to tell “jokes” that involve mocking people. He will pick part everything about you from your hair to the way you walk. Lately he’s graduated to flat out bullying others, mainly the “weird” kids.
Several weeks ago he was bragging about how he and his friend kept harassing this “weird” girl (who sounds like she may be on the spectrum) , calling her a r-tard because she “has cringey interests” (like Mario, anime, Pokemon) , telling her to “grow up” . He also bragged how he kept pointing out to her she has no friends saying “no wonder you have no friends” and how he made her cry everyday.
I told my nephew that bullying people isn’t a good idea because one day he will end up doing it to the wrong person (who may well be unhinged) and the results won’t be pretty for him. My sister heard and cursed me out and said I was being a bully to my nephew. She also said I was being too harsh.
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I have a 13 year old nephew that was never really a nice kid. He likes to tell “jokes” that involve mocking people. He will pick part everything about you from your hair to the way you walk. Lately he’s graduated to flat out bullying others, mainly the “weird” kids.
Several weeks ago he was bragging about how he and his friend kept harassing this “weird” girl (who sounds like she may be on the spectrum) , calling her a r-tard because she “has cringey interests” (like Mario, anime, Pokemon) , telling her to “grow up” . He also bragged how he kept pointing out to her she has no friends saying “no wonder you have no friends” and how he made her cry everyday.
I told my nephew that bullying people isn’t a good idea because one day he will end up doing it to the wrong person (who may well be unhinged) and the results won’t be pretty for him. My sister heard and cursed me out and said I was being a bully to my nephew. She also said I was being too harsh.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Me telling my nephew the potential consequences of his actions should be judged. That action might make me an asshole because it was a little harsh.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Info, how old are you? 13 year olds are mostly like that, unfortunately.
I would go with NTA, nonetheless. While it should be more a mother-son talk, you were not on the wrong.
NTA nip the problem in the bud. Slurring people and being a general jackass should be corrected early. Maybe have a talk with his mom on why she’s defending him.
Nta no your sister is raising an awful human being he’ll need you to balance things out as he gets older that is NOT okay.. your sister needs to stop with the victim complex it won’t help your nephew in the long run
I hardly think pointing out to a bully that it may backfire on them is bullying behavior. The kid needs to hear it and if his Mom doesn’t want to teach him to be a kind person, someone should. Before someone teaches him in a painful way.
NTA be as harsh as you have to. Quite frankly your sister isn’t harsh enough and that’s why he behaves that way. Sounds like hes never been held accountable for his actions. Its a very short jump from two kids wearing trench coats and being picked on all through school. I’d say in the beginning of every mass shooting is a person who was teased for years and finally snapped.
Bullying is never cute and he is gonna make life harder for himself let alone anyone else.
Who wants to be friends with a bully? Who wants to be friends or talk to someone who is mean to others? What does making fun of other people accomplish? Why does he feel the need to make fun of others?
His mom not peeping it is also a problem.
NTA
Honestly sounds like he could use a humble thrashing 🤷♀️
NTA zero tolerance for that kind of bullying especially 🥺
NTA, though your reasoning was kind of dumb. Bullies are sad people lashing out at others because there is something wrong with them. It’s an awful thing to do, and it makes the world worse.
Bullies are rarely successful in life. They tend to peak in high school, if not even earlier. Your sister should be taking this more seriously, as should your nephew’s school, both for the sake of the people he’s bullying and for your nephew’s.
So it’s ok for him to bully, but not you. Sister is the main problem, but her little prince needs a lesson and quick. I would argue coming from someone who loves them is better than the girls bigger brother. My god son thought it hilarious to pick on people’s insecurities, until I did it to him when he got nasty. I wasn’t as harsh as other would have been (or as much as I wanted), but he got the point. Every AH needs to remember, they’re never going to be the biggest AH out there.
NTA. Your sister, however……
NTA but you shouldn’t bully people because it’s it’s the wrong thing to do. Being a fraud of some eventual comeuppance is not a reason to not do anything.
I’d have probably slapped my nephew for saying some shit like that. Drop him and the sister.
NTA
You weren’t harsh enough. He should be made to understood the mental toll he is causing through bullying. Your warning isn’t wrong. Same thing happened at my school back in the day. The school bully picked on this one kid relentlessly until he snapped. Bully was so unprepared for it and this kid clearly just saw red. I remember several people trying to intervene but it still ended with the Bully in hospital. Both were removed from school after that but I sincerely hope the kid got the help he needed.
So many of us tried to stand by the kid and even reported it but my school was frankly useless, no one effectively intervened until the damage was done. Which is why your sister should be doing a hell of a lot more to teach her son.
NTA. People are clearly not being harsh enough if he thinks this kind of behaviour is acceptable but no wonder, it seems his mother is enabling this kind of bs and shielding him from consequences. If no one puts a stop to this he is only going to become worse. I feel sorry for his victims.
NTA, no wonder he is like this considering your sistern clearly doesn’t care how he behaves. In my opinion he needs to hear far more about why his behaviour is bad. Also if he truly makes someone cry everyday please do something to help that poor child.
Your sister cursing you out tells me SHE is the origINAL bully, and buddy is just following in her footsteps. He is her karma, and eventually, he’ll get his. NTA
NTA for trying to tackle an issue, but you didn’t go about it the right way.
He shouldn’t bully people because it’s unkind, and we should accept that people are different, and all the other reasons.
Telling him that he shouldn’t bully because one day he’ll bully the wrong person is just going to make him worse. He’ll pick on the kids who he knows he’ll get away with it on.
We don’t not attack people for fear of retaliation, we don’t do it because it’s not the right thing to do.
NTA. If he keeps this behavior up, he WILL get hurt if/when he bullies the wrong person. It’s better for him to learn from a loved one that bullying isn’t cool instead of learning from an ass beating
NTA but your sister is an enabling asshole.
Maybe show her the video of that dad that shaved his daughters hair off because she was bullying a kid at her school for having cancer.
She needs to pull her head in if she wants her son to grow up to be a decent person.
NTA. Is that how his parents treat him? I know I was quite rude as a child, but I was raised by abusive alcoholics. I wish someone had stepped up to model how to be kind, and to guide me in being more polite.
Sounds like your sister is the AH and she’s raising her precious baby to be one as well. As a petty person and hater of bullies, personally I’d contact the school myself and tell them you’re concerned about his behavior as well as the little girl’s wellbeing. I’d also try to find out who the little girl is and contact her parents to let them know this is happening so they can push the school to address this since his mom clearly won’t on her own.
Your sister is the AH. She’s allowing her child to bully others for what reason?
People kill themselves because of bullying. Is she proud of him for being like that? Would she be proud if someone killed themselves because of him?
He needs help. It’s not okay to bully. It’s also not okay to enable abuse. That’s what your sister is doing.
You are in no way an AH.
I sure as hell hope they get a reality check before it’s too late.
NTA OP and keep fighting the good fight. Your sister is raising a little monster that we are all going to have to live in the world with one day. Parents think their kids are theirs alone but they will become fellow adults and how they turn out matters to all of us.
It sucks that you aren’t getting back up from his parents. I’d have a real come to jesus talk with your sister about what the hell is she thinking. Her little turd may start physically bullying people one day or cause another person to harm themselves.
Hell no. Make that shit stop asap. Whatever it takes.
Damn, she thinks it’s okay for a gang of boys to harass a girl.
Call the principal. If your family won’t stop him, you need to.
Seriously. Save a teenage girl from this trauma.
Your sister is an AH and should not be a parent if she is going to enable bullying.
People legit kill themselves over bullying, she’s probably one of those AH’s that would take no responsibility for her part in that if it happened either
How the heck are Pokemon, Anime, and Mario considered “cringey” in this day and age?
NTA but your nephew and sister are.
NTA. Nephews behaviour needs correcting and if his mum can’t be bothered to do it, it’s good you stepped up, precisely for the reasons you told your nephew.
Better he learn from a stern word from you than from someone knocking his teeth out.
While your correcting family members, remind your sister that part of parenting is making sure they don’t turn into horrid little monsters.