TL;DR: Since April I have been on and off with this woman named Maria. Maria is friends with my other friend Megan. Maria and I have hooked up and been on a date. She did not reach out to me for a couple of months after we hooked up and then got hot and heavy. We texted daily for over a month with walls of text. Maria has initiated many future plans with me only to later cancel them (usually at the last minute). I have given her many chances, but I am getting frustrated. How to deal with this?
My friend Megan has a friend named Maria who started showing interest in me back in April. Maria and I hung out one night and ended up making out and hooking up. Maria stopped talking to me for about 2 months after we hooked up. Maria then started texting me every week. We met up again in a group setting and she asked if she could make out with me. We got hot and heavy again that day. We start texting daily and get into some deep conversations with walls of text.
Maria and I go on one date and we kiss and end the night. She seems afraid of intimacy and getting too close to people. She tells me she likes me but she is afraid due to past relationships. She continues to text me daily and asks me to go on all of these trips with her. Over the next few weeks she begins telling me she is no longer going on these trips and has cancelled them. She then asks me to hang out again. I give options, ask her what she is comfortable with, and she enthusiastically agrees to hang out and confirms it. She then texts me the night before we are supposed to hang out and tells me she is too busy and stressed out. She has used this excuse many times, but she continues to confirm to me that it has nothing to do with not wanting to hang out with me and spend time with me, it is because she is busy and stressed. She proposes alternate plans the next day with a group of people, but I decline.
At this time, I haven’t responded to her texts in about 3 days because I am getting frustrated. I told her it was fine that she cancelled and I was busy anyways. I think Maria has been bread-crumbing me and I am getting tired of it. She has given me many mixed signals and it seems like she just wants attention and has avoidant tendencies. What is the next logical move here? I am assuming people will tell me to be a man and just move on and let her continue to do what she does.
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It sounds like she likes attention from you when she feels in the mood but doesn’t actually care about you or want anything deeper.
> I am assuming people will tell me to be a man and just move on and let her continue to do what she does.
What the hell kind of BS is this? No, you should stop expecting anything differently from her and act accordingly based on what you can control — your own behavior. If you want to fool around whenever she’s available, then fine, but don’t expect her to actually care about you. If you don’t want to be treated as an after thought, then you should stop engaging with her.
But also in another post you said you ended an engagement 5 months ago but you have been hooking up with Maria since April? Are you a cheater or are you making up stories?