My girlfriend [23F] and I [25M] have been together for 8 months. I’ve noticed a pattern where she’ll mention things throughout the week like “I’ve been craving good pasta lately” or “I saw this really cool brunch place on Instagram.” However, when I directly ask where she wants to go for our weekend date, she says “anywhere is fine” or “you decide.”
I suspect she might be giving hints about her preferences, but I’m struggling to connect these casual comments to actual date planning. When I suggest random places, I can sense the enthusiasm isn’t quite there.
I’m looking for practical advice on:
- How to have a direct conversation about date planning preferences without making it awkward
- Whether keeping a note of places/foods she mentions is a good approach
- Communication strategies that have worked for others in similar situations
- How to create an environment where she feels comfortable being more direct about her preferences
I want our dates to be enjoyable for both of us, and I think better communication about what we both want could help. Has anyone else navigated this kind of communication dynamic successfully?
TL;DR: Looking for practical communication strategies to better understand my girlfriend’s date preferences when she gives indirect hints but says “anywhere is fine” when asked directly.
Comments
Give her choices instead of asking an open ended question. If she refuses to choose that’s a different problem.
I’m pretty indecisive and prefer choosing between a few options (less pressure specially since your relationship is fairly new) and it’s nice to know my partner put some thought into it.
Maybe come up with a system where you rotate picking a restaurant or coming up with weekend date activities. She’ll feel more comfortable and it won’t all fall on your shoulders.
Haven’t tried this, but love the idea, pose this question instead: “I’m taking you out for blank, guess where?” You can make it more or less specific
When she says “I saw a cool brunch place”, is that the end of the conversation or do you ask her for more information?
Because if I say “Hey, I saw this cool brunch place” and I get zero feedback, I’m reading that as you’re not interested. So I’m not going t mention it again.