AITA for telling a guy my friend has a boyfriend

r/

Hi, so a few nights ago I was out with a friend of mine. We went to a place where we met some of her friends, that I didn’t know. One of those friends was a guy which she told me about earlier. She told me had had told other people that he thought she was very attractive, and she said she did not find him unattractive either. Now the thing is my friend has a boyfriend, but the guy did not know about that.

So that night we met him at a bar he was obviously flirting with her the whole night, and she was kind of flirting back. My friend has always been flirty with guys while she has had boyfriends, and has also cheated in the past. She also kind of left me alone in a place where I knew nobody, but that isn’t really important for the story. So I asked her if the guy knew she had a boyfriend and she said no. So later in a conversation I told him that she had a boyfriend. Which he ofcourse didn’t know. Later my friend was kind of disappointed that I told the guy she had a boyfriend, and that she was scared he wasn’t going to like her anymore, now that he knew that.

I didn’t think of it that much first, but now It kind of starting to wonder if I am the ahold for telling the guy she has a boyfriend. It wasn’t my intention to break up their friendship, but I felt like he should know.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    Hi, so a few nights ago I was out with a friend of mine. We went to a place where we met some of her friends, that I didn’t know. One of those friends was a guy which she told me about earlier. She told me had had told other people that he thought she was very attractive, and she said she did not find him unattractive either. Now the thing is my friend has a boyfriend, but the guy did not know about that.

    So that night we met him at a bar he was obviously flirting with her the whole night, and she was kind of flirting back. My friend has always been flirty with guys while she has had boyfriends, and has also cheated in the past. She also kind of left me alone in a place where I knew nobody, but that isn’t really important for the story. So I asked her if the guy knew she had a boyfriend and she said no. So later in a conversation I told him that she had a boyfriend. Which he ofcourse didn’t know. Later my friend was kind of disappointed that I told the guy she had a boyfriend, and that she was scared he wasn’t going to like her anymore, now that he knew that.

    I didn’t think of it that much first, but now It kind of starting to wonder if I am the ahold for telling the guy she has a boyfriend. It wasn’t my intention to break up their friendship, but I felt like he should know.

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I told a guy my friend was flirting with that she had a boyfriend, which my friend did not want me to tell him. That might make me an asshole.

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  3. Wild_Ticket1413 Avatar

    NTA. She was being dishonest with him and leading him on. That’s not fair to him. He had a right to know she was in a relationship.

  4. skaterforlifee Avatar

    NTA. For starters she isn’t a real friend. She left you somewhere where you knew nobody. The world is a crazy place and I for 1 would never leave any of my friends in a place where they don’t know anyone as you just never know.

    She might not like you for what you did however atleast you are loyal. Its better to be honest than lie about it. At the end of the day her bf might be madly in love with her planning their future while she’s going round cheating which is not okay. You wouldn’t even be the AH if you told her bf what she’s really up to.

  5. Neorotoxin Avatar

    If it is a true friendship knowing she has a boyfriend will do nothing. If the friendship is all based on an attempt to date her or get laid, it isnt even a real friendship at all.

  6. wowgamertbc Avatar

    NTA your friend is not much of one to put you in that position.   She wants to cheat/lie she should do it by herself without involving others.  Does her current bf know about her proclivities, if not he deserves to know as well.   There are to many STD’S out there.  Some that you cant get rid of.  Your friend is about to become another statistic and anyone she’s involved with by lying.

  7. Uubilicious_The_Wise Avatar

    Well, no. You did the right thing for the guy but your “friend” will probably see it as a betrayal towards her.

    NTA. You may have started the process of losing a friend but is this really a friend you want?

  8. Neat-Internet9682 Avatar

    YTA for being friends with a cheater and condoning it.

  9. AirlineFast990 Avatar

    Godzilla had a stroke reading this.

  10. Lopsided_Tomatillo27 Avatar

    NTA
    Your friend wasn’t looking for friendship.

  11. AriseGen Avatar

    NTA. Your friend getting upset means she wants to cheat again, and you should honestly call her out on it. If she doesn’t admit it, end the friendship and tell her you can’t just sit idly by while your friend acts in a promiscuous matter, especially when she has a history.

  12. jersey_phoenix Avatar

    She sounds like a serial cheater

  13. myfalteredego Avatar

    Find better friends.

  14. Vyckerz Avatar

    NTA – your friend is an AH though. I think it’s ok for you to tell the guy, but I would also tell her boyfriend.

  15. Consistent_Use_225 Avatar

    NTA

    She sounds like a on going cheater deluxe, and it was nice of you to tell the guy that she have a boyfriend.

    Because she would prob have gone home to him, and they would do the deed, only for him to learn she had a boyfriend all along, and then feel bad for getting used.

  16. Knight_Redcliff Avatar

    NTA, but your friend seems like trash

  17. GenerAsianX1992 Avatar

    You need a new friend.

  18. Under-Valued649 Avatar

    NTA. Didn’t you know you are acting as her wing person? She is telling her bf that both of you are going out. Then she arranged to meet up with other “friends “. You are part of the betrayal cause you know her history and her M.O. This is not a friend you should be associated with, as you seem to have a conscience, and she does not.

  19. kaisong Avatar

    NTA If it didnt matter to him, it wouldnt matter. If it did, he appreciates you.
    If your friend is still doing that shit openly to her friends expecting you to not say anything, it means she thinks your character is the same as hers. Thats up to you to decide what that means.

  20. ananab1 Avatar

    You’re “friend” is the ah

  21. CoatSame2561 Avatar

    Yes. Not your relationship to meddle in

  22. beantownchamps Avatar

    Something something.. THE COMPANY YOU KEEP

  23. UnSleepingMoss Avatar

    the better question is why you’re still friends with someone that relentlessly cheats on every single partner that they’ve ever had. it honestly no offense, says more about you with the company that you keep.

    please do yourself a favor and stop hanging out with people that aren’t good.

  24. 23stop Avatar

    Your friend is a serial cheater. NTA but I doubt you two share the same sense of loyalty or integrity. I suggest you think of her as a friend very loosely and don’t count on her. Definitely have a plan B if she’s involve.

  25. ConradandBelly4ever Avatar

    No, you’re NTA. Your friend is an AH for being a cheater who likes to flirt while dating and cheat. If she’s cheated before, she’ll do it again, which is awful. I assume her current boyfriend doesn’t know she’s flirty with guys and has cheated on a different boyfriend before. I feel sorry for him because he’s only gonna end up getting hurt by your friend.

  26. Cyrious123 Avatar

    You saved him from either wasting his time or worse…dating a cheater and being her side piece!