Me (M28) and my fiancée (F25) are currently in the middle of planning our wedding for next year. We’ve already surveyed venues, catering, decorations, etc. On paper, everything should be exciting right now
but emotionally, I’m stuck.
I’ll admit I can be stubborn and emotionally unstable at times, and that’s affected our relationship. She’s a good person at heart, but she gets angry when I mess up. I never really minded that because, honestly, I usually am the cause of her anger.
The real issue started with her telling me about a friend she’s known long before she met me. She talks to him because, in her words, “he can fill this feeling of talking” that she can’t get with me. I struggle with comprehension and communication, so it made sense, but I still told her, “If it’s your friend, of course you can talk to him.” To that, she said, “No, I don’t want to, because your feelings matter more to me.”
Here’s the twist. Recently, during a big fight, she told me something as “punishment”: she admitted she had slept with that friend. I asked if it happened before or after I proposed. She said it was after just a few days after the proposal. Her explanation was that she wasn’t sure about me at the time and that this friend initiated the talking that led to it. I honestly don’t understand how she could do that.
It also brought back an earlier memory: in the first month of our relationship, I found a photo on her phone. It looked like a man sleeping on someone’s chest, taken from above. When I confronted her, she said her friend sent it to her, then immediately deleted it and asked me, “How can I prove to you that’s not me?” I trusted her at the time. But now, I can’t shake the belief that it was actually her and this same friend that she manipulated me with sweet words to cover it up.
That image, and now her confession, haunts me. I don’t know if I should continue in this relationship or not, because trust feels gone. And once you lose trust, how can you build a marriage? I’m scared that even if we stay together, I’ll never be able to get those images out of my head.
Has anyone been through something similar? Can trust ever be rebuilt after something like this, or is it better to walk away now before I tie myself to her permanently?
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Don’t marry this girl. She’s definitely not the right one for you. So many signs.
Woman and her male best friend
Oh my god, please break up with her immediately?? She’s horrible.
I’m really not someone who things cheating has to be the end of a relationship.
However, her response to you telling her you want to not only spend the rest of your life with her but to legally tie your life to hers because you love and trust her that much was to go fuck her friend. She decided she was unsure, so instead of speaking with you, a therapist, or both, she fucked her friend.
C’mon dude – do you really need a bunch of internet strangers telling you to just dump the cheater??? Of course – you just walk away.
Millions of people have been through this.
Do not proceed with the relationship .
Dude, she admitted to cheating on you a few days after you proposed. Are you fucking kidding? No, do not stay with her. Hope this is just bait.
why would you get married to someone who slept with someone else 3 days after your proposal?
What a blessing you received!! You now know her true self before a life long commitment is made. Don’t squander it and just move on.
Dude, leave her.
Seems like it’s time to call it, unfortunately. Especially with her using it as “punishment”… That doesn’t sound like the conducive, constructive energy you want in your life
She cheated on you. Not only did she cheat on you days after you got engaged but she told you specifically to hurt you. Not because she felt guilty, because she was just mad and wanted to hurt you the worst way possible. Please do not stay, you’ll always regret it.
Just leave and don’t look back
Please don’t go through with this wedding; the relationship itself sounds toxic, she’s toxic, period. Not only that, but she cheated on you AFTER you proposed to her. Why would you still want to get married to her after that? Break up with her for your own well-being. I promise you, you’ll find someone who will treat and love you better because you won’t get that from her. If you continue to stay with her, she’ll continue to manipulate you and play in your face.
Also, she threw in the fact that she cheated on you with her friend to hurt you. the same friend whom she vents all her problems to, instead of you. So again, why would you want to get married to her?
A few days after I got engaged, I was so happy that I was a fiancee, sleeping with another man was an impossible thought.
If I was “not sure” about my partner, that’s the time I would communicate with them and tell them my feelings.
Choosing to have sex with another person while committed to someone instead of communicating any possible issues is immature behavior and does not seem like someone who is ready to commit to their partner forever.
Besides the fact that she has completely betrayed your trust, she is also showing you that when a problem arises in your relationship or in her feelings about your relationship, she runs to others instead of dealing with these things with her partner, you!
Is this the kind of marriage you want to be in? When someone shows you what kind of person they are, believe them. She will continue to behave this way throughout your entire relationship.
Only you can say for sure if you can get over this, but it doesn’t sound to me like she’s particularly sorry that she did it, especially if she threw it in your face during an argument as a “punishment.” I don’t think she sounds like much of a partner, nor does she seem mature enough to get married.
Please don’t marry her
You deserve way more then this!
If she had to sleep with someone to know if she was sure or not about you that’s not okay
She’s not ready, too young to get married. Trouble ahead.
You should be grateful that you learned this before marriage. The almost “cavalier” manner she has framed this is a little insightful into her deeper “character”.
Yeah no.
You’re done for.
Leave, you won’t trust her again.
She slept with someone after you proposed to marry her. Seriously, read that out loud 10 times. Be honest about how you feel about it and act accordingly.
punishment by cheating. you can’t trust her. trust is like a mirror. once shattered no matter how you try to fix it there will always be cracks. if she feels it is ok when you are just engaged how long after you are married until she cheats again. don’t invest in a relationship that is already rotting.
good luck
I guarantee that wasn’t the first time they slept together and won’t be the last. Do not marry that girl. You will always wonder if she’s being honest and you will be unhappy. Nobody deserves to live like that. Come on, you ask her to marry you and she goes and screws her friend a cpl days later. Most women are on Cloud 9 after being proposed to and all they can think about is their wedding and their future with their soon to be husband but your gf jumps into bed with another man.
Wait what? How are you even considering marrying this woman?
Your Fiance is a cheater. She cheated 3 days after you proposed because she wasn’t sure of you and you’re still talking to her? You should really stand up for yourself and call off the engagement and break up with her. How can you start a marriage with someone you don’t trust. She’s a proven cheater and will just do it again. You’ll always be wondering what she’s up to, who she’s texting.
So every time she’s mad at you, she’ll sleep with her friend?! 🤪 Dump her! ASAP!
Do you really need a bunch of Internet strangers telling you what to do with Your Life?
What do you want to do? Can you trust her anymore?
Obviously, you guys kept fighting for whatever reason, and big fights at that and she said she can’t talk to you because you don’t comprehend her. And you know you’re the reason to why she’s always mad and you’re cool with…that? Based on that before the cheating…. you really think you’re both compatible as partners? You really need us strangers to weigh in on that?
Why is she still your fiancée?
Do you enjoy feeling what you are feeling? Because there’s more coming. You’re choosing to stay with her? Congratulations. You’ve just sent a clear message that cheating on you is totally fine, and carries no consequences.
She is a player and is playing you it will not end here.
Ditch her then out her to everyone.
Run fast, never look back
No, just no. She’s a cheater and then threw it in your face. Stay and this will happen till you literally can’t take it anymore.
End it. She cheated even before you’re married and just after you proposed! I would be shocked if that was the first time.
So a couple of days after she commits to spending thecrest of her life with you she sleeps with her friend. A friend she has admitted to fulfilling her emotional gap that you leave. Not only that but she weapinises it and tells you as a punishment??
What on earth is it about this woman that makes you think she is wife material?
So she cheated and you’ve rationalized this as anything other than a deal breaker?
This answer is simple. A lot of people have been in this situation. They will all tell you to leave. She blames you for her cheating, that’s all kind of wrong. If you let it happen once, she’ll cheat on you anytime she feels like it and say it’s your fault, for making her mad.
Run and don’t look back. If she did it once she’ll do it again and probably has done it many times before this also.
GET RID OF HER. End of story. You guys are engaged and she told you she cheated on you because she’s still not sure about you? That’s cold. You need to get rid of her tonight. Work on yourself, learn to love yourself and fix your emotional instability
damn. best story today.
Are you out of your mind? She cheated on you several days after a proposal with someone where she was hiding their prior intimacy?
And she told you as a cruel form of punishment 🤯 That’s called maliciously devaluing you. It’s vile and it’s not what someone who loves you does. It’s the antithesis of love. And it’s a frightening indication of someone devoid of normal human empathy.
Please look into therapy that focuses on codependency. Because when we prioritize others while disregarding ourselves, it’s beyond unhealthy. Especially when the others are actively chipping away at your self-esteem, and trust.
I think we need a Northstar about what VIABLE HEALTHY relationships are. For me, it’s: we deserve partners that truly and consistently reciprocate respect, compassion, and trust.
You deserve no less. And she has demonstrated how she’s not only incapable of this – but actively engaged in denigrating you and destroying the relationship (frankly, already destroyed…you just need to see it)
Self love and respect, first and always OP
„she wasn’t sure about me“ Why did she say yes then? Leave her, she doesn’t deserve you. Everything that has happened will accompany you throughout your marriage.
I wish you only the best, OP. 🙂
My friend, you need to end the engagement and move on. She slept with someone after you were engaged? Come on.
Don’t stay with this girl. She cheated on you a few days after you proposed. If you accept this level of disrespect, you’ll be getting it for the rest of your life married to her. Break up. Learn and move on. You’ll never be able to look yourself in the mirror or trust her.
Why would you even consider marrying someone like this?
Now that you know for a fact that she is fully capable of betraying your trust under the right circumstances, are you really considering whether you should stay with her or not?! Why?!
Rhetorical don’t care, but if you choose to stay you probably deserve the misery that choice will almost certainly bring you.
Good luck!
Dude…
She cheated, seems hell-bent on blaming you – and you seems to agree with her??
No matter what, no wedding.
Best would.be breaking up with her, because this wont get any better…
Consider.the future:
Her using every bump in the road as justification to sleep with whatever guy shes at that point using as her emotional crutch…
Staying with her will.be torture…
But if you wish to.give her a chance, mandatory steps would be
Stop defending her. No, youre not perfect, but who is.
Just bin her and save your money.
Dude – your trust should be broken. And so should the engagement.
Updateme
And now you want to plan a wedding horrible idea
Call off the wedding NOW!!!
> She’s a good person at heart, but she gets angry when I mess up. I never really minded that because, honestly, I usually am the cause of her anger.
I’m going to stop you right there.
Are you committing actions that harming her? Have you continued to do so?
You sound like a textbook example of “negging” in action — that’s when one partner slowly breaks the other one down with negative, demeaning words and criticism over trivial matters. In time, the “negged” partner feels they’re a screw-up who couldn’t possibly find anyone else.
> she told me something as “punishment”
So, she’s admitting that she manipulates you.
> I honestly don’t understand how she could do that.
You understand, but you don’t like the obvious answer. She’s a cheater.
> Can trust ever be rebuilt after something like this
What has she done/is she doing to rebuild trust? Does she even admit that it was wrong, or does she justify it as “punishment” for your alleged failures?
She doesn’t sound like someone who values trust.
You really buried the lead. She cheated on you. Break off the engagement.
I initially thought she hid that they slept together in the past, before you met her, and even then I was going to be like idk about this one dude, maybe talk w her to hear her out and then make a decision.
But she literally cheated on you.
So… no remorse. At all. You know what to do
> trust feels broken
Trust feels broken because it is, she broke it. No, it’s not possible to build a marriage on a relationship foundation that’s broken. You deserve better than that, and I hope you walk away. End the relationship and seek some therapy for healthy ways to manage your emotions.
She is not marriage material.
Do not proceed..very bad warning signs…cancel the wedding…take a break from the relationship
We got your back OP.
First off, call it what it is: she cheated on you. She’s a cheater.
Second, what about this situation would make you think that getting married is a good idea? It’s a TERRIBLE idea. Like, ruin-your-life level of bad decision. Don’t make such an obvious mistake.
Third, she’s absolutely horrible.
Fourth, after you end this relationship, take some time to work on yourself before dating anyone else. You seem like you have some things you really need to address before you can be a good partner in a healthy relationship.
I comprehended you perfectly. There is absolutely nothing lacking in your communication. I have a hard time believing you lack comprehension either. Please leave this shallow, cruel, hag of a woman.
That kind of trust is difficult to repair. You’re better off walking away.
Please leave her and get tested. If she wasn’t sure of you while yall are already in a monogamous relationship and did it after you proposed you need to leave before things get to where it’ll cost money to end things.
Dump her and move on
Her cheating is reason enough to leave her but her doubling down an telling you to punish you is an extra layer of messed up. No one deserves to be treated that way.
Why are you so non chalant about your fiancée being a serial cheater??? When someone tells you who they are, believe them. You are destined for a relationship filled with more toxic behavior if you continue this farce.
Cheating is a deal breaker for me, age also lies to you.
Do you think you will ever trust her again? That you will ever not second guess when she’s too in her phone? I wouldn’t be able to think her fidelity through to marriage was bullet proof, and that’s something you kind of need.
Do yourself a favour, take space and really think about the future you want. Do you want to be questioning never knowing if a person is harmless or her new affair partner? Will you ever trust that she doesn’t have lingering feelings for this friend of hers? Is she willing to go no contact with them to prove to you she puts you first? Will you even be able to believe her if she did at this point?
y’all are not made for each other… sorry buddy
dozed a bullet man cancel the wedding
You uhhh…. You can’t marry her she’s kind of cheating on you…. I’m a big way
Walk away from this cheater and manipulator. Take some time to heal about your issues
Heartbreaking. Only thing left to do is: “Yep, it actually is you, not me.”
Hear me out y’all. OP should stay with her.
Get married, let her cheat on you after the wedding. Settle down and buy a house. Have some kids, who down the line you’ll find out aren’t yours. You’ll spiral, still take care of the kids, pay child support, and then watch her be happy with the man she actually wants to be with. Meanwhile, it’ll take you 5 years to start dating again, 10 years to trust again, and 15 years to love again.
Mannnnnn, leave her now!!!
She cheated on you. This was not a confession from before or even in the very early stages of dating. This was after a period of dating and a few days after you proposed. And her excuse was….she wasn’t sure?? Then fucking say that at the time of proposal…….no one should be accepting a proposal if they aren’t certain at the time…..one reason I’m not a fan of the big public proposal unless you’ve talked about it a lot and you’re both on the same page.
Being told that a male friend fills a “feeling” that you can’t is a massive red flag. Also she gets angry when you mess up and you’re the cause of her anger? Are you the only reason she gets angry?
My advice is to walk away, as my gut tells me they’ve been sleeping together for a long time.
If you don’t walk away you guys should be having a very long engagement. You need individual and couples therapy. She needs to be totally honest about her relationship with this guy plus work out why you make her angry.
I’m sorry dude, but your relationship sounds toxic
She is a horrible, manipulative monster. What should you do? GHOST her! Walk away. Cancel all wedding reservations. Change your status to single. Seek professional help because your self esteem must be at rock bottom to consider staying.
So she cheated on you AFTER she accepted lifetime commitment to you? Fuck that. I would cancel any future plans and end the relationship
Not even China or North Korea will fly you a bigger red flag. Get out ASAP.
If you marry her or stay with her, at this point you will have yourself to blame.
How big of a red flag do you need?
Because I can’t imagine there is many if any that are bigger than cheating on you because “she’s not sure about your relationship” right after affirming your relationship by accepting your proposal.
And then only telling you about it as a form of punishment for you.
Fuuuuuuck no! She said it as “punishment?” She told you he fulfills something you don’t but she cares about your feelings more? Here’s a news flash for you; you’re in an abusive relationship and it’s shows most potently in how you spent half your post excusing what amounts to inexcusable behavior. But then on top of that she fucked another guy a few days after you proposed?! You should have told her to leave in that moment, blocked her on all socials, blocked her phone number, and then send out a message to family and close friends explaining that the wedding is off because she decided to cheat on you shortly after you proposed. No fucking chances. Take some time to sort out all this bullshit she has convinced you of (related to yourself), and spend some time working on yourself. Focus on self improvement, on your happiness, because you just got a crash course in how you cannot rely on anyone else to care for your happiness, and that it would be wrong to do even if you could.
If you have even a shred of self-respect you will jettison this trash immediately, with no elaborate conversations or explanations. Say as little as possible. Why? Because no conversation will change the fact that she showed you the ultimate disrespect. She betrayed you, and what is left to say after someone shows you they are capable of that? Her cheating is not and can never be your fault. There is no excuse or justification for what she did, and she can’t take it back.
this has got to be rage bait bc how is the question here what you should do. you literally break up with her and send her packing back to the “friend”.
Run!
After the proposal? Nah the disrespect
I thought you were gonna say something along the lines of, “She slept with him while we were talking.” Not during your relationship and especially not after a proposal. If you stay, you’re a walking dormat with zero self respect.
Bud, I get it’s hard. Dating is a nightmare. The comfort of someone or continuing is easier. However, if you stay, you’re missing out on all the good people that would value and love you. Just because this relationship is toxic doesn’t mean the next has to be. Stand up and be strong.
Mate,been there, done that, don’t be me.
A few weeks prior to my marriage, I discovered that my fiance had been fucking someone at her work. As soon as a friend told me, so many things fell into place, I realised it was true and I confronted her. Initially, she denied, but broke down under pressure, and although I felt it was not right, I accepted it, and mainly through embarrassment, and because friends and family were booked, ( we lived in Straya but both were Kiwis), I said I forgave her and went ahead with the wedding.
I realise now, that I didn’t really forgive her, my trust was broken, and to a degree, I became untrustworthy, and was always trying to play catch ups. She was also fucking others, a couple of times when I suspected she was, turns out I was correct.
Overall, aside from infidelity, the marriage was, or seemed reasonable, we had two children, built a house, all the trappings etc, and we were married 13 years before I ditched for what seemed a better offer.
So, long story… GTFO while you can and find someone to trust, because you’ll never trust the current one , and probably with good reason.
You can’t trust her. She has probably been fing him the whole time.
Dude, wtf. Bounce.
Wait so she slept with him “because she wasn’t sure about you” after accepting your proposal? Like that’s reason enough to break up with her, generally you should be sure about the person you’ve accepted to marry? Let alone the other stuff in the beginning of the relationship. Dude break up now!!!
The trust isn’t truly broken, you can trust her to cheat on you again. Especially if you forgive her for cheating just after she accepted your proposal.
I hate to tell you, my man, but trust is gone. Without trust, there’s nothing left. How would you ever trust her. Get some therapy. It really can help.
Why would you rebuild anything with someone who not only cheats but uses it to hurt you? Good God that’s messed up.
No fue después de la propuesta q se acostó con el, lo ha hecho a lo largo de la relación, ahí están todas las señales, estás tan enamorado de ella q no podés ver el panorama completo.
You will dodge the biggest bullet of your life by breaking up with her.
Good grief. I didn’t read half of this. What I’m thinking is that she’s telling you she doesn’t want to get married. SHE IS DOING YOU A FAVOR- accept the favor.
How does it matter if anyone has been through sane things?? She cheated after you proposed. End of story.
Break up with her and take the ring back 🙂
Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy. She’s not marriage material and proved it with her actions.
Tell her this… the friend is dead or the relationship is so she can hand you the ring. If she’s religious call this out in front of the church. If not invite both of your families and all your friends over and expose her there and ask her parents why they raised her to be like this and why that man, point to him, did this to her daughter and their family name.
She may end up with him but the family will absolutely hate the guy while you move on.
I refuse to believe posts like this are real…
Run. Btw everyone gets angry, but if she gets angry enough you feel the need to mention it you’re probably an abuse victim.
WTH are you doing you fool! Leave her to her best friend, they’ll probably get married.
This is one of those posts where I have to ask if it’s real, do you not respect yourself enough to break up after she admitted to cheating on you right after you proposed?
She sounds awful. Not only is she cheating on you which I’m going to go out on a limb to say this isn’t the first time, but she intentionally told you to hurt you. This is so toxic.
Break up, and start therapy. You can’t be in a relationship if you’re admittedly emotionally unstable.
Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Unless you’re in an open relationship, the harsh reality is that she’s cheated on you (at least) once and she doesn’t feel sorry for it. Call off the wedding and get back any deposits possible. It’s a lot cheaper and less messy than a divorce. Consider yourself lucky that she revealed this beforehand.
She will 100% cheat again.
Dude. Stop fucking playing her up. “Good person at heat” fucking bullshit, she went and got railed by another dude a couple days after she said yes to your proposal.
Get her off that pedestal, regain some of your self respect, and block her on everything.
Aw the good old ”on paper” rescue tactic. The second you have to use that term to make sense of getting betrayed is the second you should have ended it.
Walk away now dude, that is not a woman that is in love with you. She proved it.
Need to leave this relationship. As you put it, your communication with her isn’t the best. Therefore she will always find another man to confide in and cheat with them at the same time.
Dude, she CHEATED!!! What kind of trust would you have and why would you still want to marry her???? Ya’ll really need to set some higher standards in these relationships.
You’d be nuts to marry this person.
Bro leave. Cause there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of your mind saying “Can I trust her?” If you can’t trust her, no need for a relationship.
1.Stop blaming yourself for her emotional outbursts.
She had an emotional (as well as) physical affair with this guy.
She is emotionally abusive. The next time you do something that upsets her, is she going to fuck this guy or someone else as punishment? After all, it sounds like she has convinced you that you bring this upon yourself.
Get out of this relationship, my friend. You are being emotionally abused and manipulated.
She cheated once, she’ll do it again. Run for the hills
She should be your ex gf!
>I don’t know if I should continue in this relationship
She cheated on you while engaged u/Mobile-Ad4322. When it happens again she’ll be able to claim you gave her permission or at least sanctioned it since you know she is a cheater.
She slept with him AFTER you proposed! There is no rebuilding from that. Get the ring back, break up, and find someone worth your time.
She is trash, leave
You should definitely marry her. She obviously respects your boundaries and knows if she crosses them you will end the relationship. No way she would risk losing you
You would really be an incredible fool if you stay with her and would deserve the nightmare your life would become if you marry her.
So after you proposed, she slept with Mr Smoothtalker. And you think you should stay with her? Mmmmm…nope.
Hit the eject button, brother. As much as this hurts and infuriates you, it will be ten times worse when it happens after your marriage.
She is a shit gf.
Damn bro. I ain’t perfect. I’ll admit. I’ve made some mistakes. But cheating on someone a couple days after an engagement is WILD.
Please don’t go through with this wedding unless you want this dysfunction to be your life
If she’s cheating now she’ll cheating when your married. A ring doesn’t magically stop cheaters from cheating. Just get your ring back and leave her. You’ll be saving money from both your money and divorce. Especially if you were to have kids.
Walk away now bro. Girls like that are always gonna have a friend waiting on the side for you to fuck up. Always gonna have some bullshit reason for why it happened like closure being needed or something you did that upset her. It’s always gonna be like this so if you like this feeling then stay
So she cheated on you within days of your proposal… at the moment she should still be in that newly engaged love and elation….. and you are still considering marrying her??
This “friend” has been around all through your relationship…. it’s highly likely this isn’t the first time
Breaking up now is way cheaper than divorce later.
Don’t. This is you warning you from the future. Do not marry that woman! Ever!
Whatever flaws you think you have, or incompatibilities there are in your relationship, you do not deserve this.
Leave her buddy trust me it doesn’t get better once she broke that trust it’ll always be in the back of your head trust me.. I’m sorry you’re going through that man
she cheated on you bro
She’s not wife material don’t marry her.
Stop planning the wedding ASAP. You list a myriad of relationship issues that should be resolved before the wedding.
When you say “emotionally unstable”, what exactly do you mean? How angry does she get when she’s mad? Ads in the fact she basically said she had to emotionally cheat on you to get her emotional needs met should have been a red flag.
Honestly, you guys need to break up and individually you need to work on what you cite is troublesome about yourself in a relationship. You don’t deserve to be cheated on but you do still have issues you need to fix about you being an emotionally invested partner.
Get that ring back and leave her to the streets
Run.
Do not marry her. Cut it off now. Seek therapy. Fix what ever you need to fix. And find the right women for you. You are only 28. That’s still young.
Walk. Chronic cheater
She fucked her “friend” a few days after you proposed marriage, sharing this information as “punishment”. Fucking him and punishing you will be model of your life now. Or you can break it off.
Yeah it is broken…
End it. You can’t make it better. A marriage needs a strong foundation of trust, honesty, faithfulness, respect, and consideration. You don’t have ANY of these. You are walking into a train wreck.
Stop the planning of the wedding.
STOP the wedding, stop the relationship. Why is it that you feel that you may still want to work at this? I get it you love her….
She slept with someone else while she had your ring on her finger. That’s trashy behavior right there.
Don’t marry her, a cheater is always a cheater, she will cheat on you again if she stays in this relationship, because you will be the guy who forgives
Bro she fucked that guy AFTER you proposed.
There is nothing to consider, ponder or reflect upon.
Just end it now and move on or else that future wedding will be your funeral.
i’m not gonna bother trying to explain her perspective or her feelings because honest to god it doesn’t matter. she’s a cheater, she doesn’t love or respect you. lack of attention doesn’t make you sleep with other guys, by that logic you would be too. if the relationship wasn’t working, and she wanted to make it work, she would have. she’s cheating on you, gaslighting you, and trying to bring you down and hurt you
Don’t marry this girl. Walk away.
“He can fill the feeling of talking” much better than you, apparently. Letting her go so he can fill that role for her is the best thing to do… for both of you.
OP end thing as soon as you can, she has been lying you since the beginning.
If she wasn’t sure about you then why would she say yes when you proposed?
What she said is a total b.s./crap, she has an intermittent affair with him at least. The I don’t want to hurt your feelings also feels like a big flat lie.
Like you said trust is gone, any marriage that starts with couples therapy for one side affair is not good new and you will only build resentment.
You still have time to cancel everything and get back what you put under deposit. Or at least the most part.
Tell her to her face that she can go and build a relationship with her “special friend” that help test if you where the correct. Also to not contact you again. Expose her to family and mutual friends. And the. Block and go NC her.
Good luck and do not think much, this is a big lack of respect towards you, there is no love in there.
Gotta be fake because you seriously can’t be thinking about actually going through the wedding. no one can be this dense
She’s a liar, cheater and cannot handle mature communication
Dude I am one of those people who always shits on the redditor conclusion jump of “leave them reee”. But I’ve been in your situation and that trust is forever broken please for your future consider ending this
if you have even the tiniest little speck of self respect, you’ll free yourself from this horse shit relationship and won’t look back.
>She’s a good person at heart
Start from accepting that she is not a good person at heart. She has been having a prolonged affair with her friend and she is the girl with her friend in the photo you described. Good people don’t engage in cheating and lying and manipulation. Then throw across an affair as a form of punishment. Make sure that the only one receiving the punishment is her. Just call off the wedding and say to everyone involved that it is because of her infidelity and name the friend too. So that when if her and her friend get together, they would still have a lot of uncomfortable gazes and questions to face. You do this and never look back. You are still tremendously young, whether you agree or not and have plenty of time to rebuild. So build it with a person with a good integrity, loyalty and morals. Not with a cheater, manipulator, liar and a petty human being who throws her infidelity on the face of her fiancée as a punishment. She is not a good person neither is a penitent one. All the best!
She fucked someone else a few days after agreeing to marry you and spend the rest of her life with you. She didn’t even make it a week. And you don’t know what to do? I don’t know why she’s not history by now.
Your trust is broken? Your life will be filled with lots of toxic bs you’ll have to live with. Don’t. Arry that girl. Right after the engagement, she proved her worth..
Updateme!
Break up! Omg. She does not respect you. Go find someone who will!
Please do not marry her. She cheated, she’s a liar and she doesn’t care that she’s hurt you.
Call off the wedding and leave her. Block her. Tell your friends and family what she has done and why you can’t marry her.
Her excuse for cheating on you is just that… an excuse. Anything less than her taking accountability, begging for forgiveness, cutting this guy off and bending over backwards to show her remorse is unacceptable.
Please leave her.
So when you were at your highest love for her, she was unsure and slept with her friend? No, you break up and let her be with this other person. You do not marry this woman.
Run man. Like sheesh. Red flags 100000%
So you know she’s cheated on you at least once and your question is whether she cheated on you twice. It also extra sucks if she cheated on you days after you proposed to her when she should be at our height of love for you having been proposed to. And she cheated. Do not continue a relationship with this person it’s not gonna be worthall the mental issues that you all have being with a cheater. It’s time to cut her out of your life you might want to get a little therapy and go on and be happy.
That sick feeling in your gut is your intuition screaming that trust has been not just broken, but weaponized she used her infidelity as punishment during a fight, which reveals a deep disrespect that’s far more damaging than the act itself. You’re right that marriage can’t be built on this foundation; trust requires safety, and she’s shown a pattern of deception from that early photo to this recent confession. Don’t get trapped in the “why” or blame your communication struggles; her choice to betray you days after accepting your proposal speaks entirely to her character, not your worth. Walk away now not as a failure, but as an act of self preservation staying would mean condemning yourself to a lifetime of suspicion, and you deserve a partner whose loyalty isn’t a bargaining chip.
Neither of y’all are ready to get married ffs
Brother have some self respect and dump her. She cheated on you after you proposed there’s no coming back from that betrayal.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY THIS CHEATER?!? WAKE UP!
So she got mad at someone who was so important to her that she agreed to marry them and decided to sleep with some rando to punish them?? Dude, run!
End that relationship
She slept with him as “punishment” to you. That’s really twisted and wrong.
She said she cheated on you. Right after you proposed.
Isn’t that reason enough to break the engagement ?
Dude? Is this some rage bait? She is not marriage material.
Leave. She’ll do it again. You can’t trust her. There’s no foundation left.
Run. You definitely will dodge a bullet.
My best recommendation is to not marry her. Trust can be rebuilt after cheating, but this is not the kind of situation that can be easily rebuilt. Do not be in a relationship with someone that “punishes” you because of a fight. It’s like she’s throwing firebombs and all you have to build your house is wood.