I (22f) have been with my boyfriend (23m) for almost two years. We have handled thick and thin and trust each other completely. I brought up during sex one night about sharing and we have had conversations about finding other people to bring in. I want to be clear, we are not opening the relationship. He found another couple on Reddit (mf25) and we have been talking back and forth. They are super cool people and we were all not the same page about what we wanted from a friend’s with benefits situation. We blurred faces to protect privacy and talked for a few days before we revealed faces. My boyfriend and I sent ours and were very nervous. They didn’t even mention it in the groupchat when we sent it and ended up sending theirs. I had gotten to know these people over a few days and really liked them but just do not find them attractive at all. My boyfriend is still willing to see how things play out but I don’t want to be dishonest and let them on if I don’t find them attractive. We have plans for later this week to hang out just to get to know each other. We all wanted to be friends before anything happened. Would I be wrong to not want to continue to get to know them if I don’t find them attractive?
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Theres nothing wrong, if you’re not comfortable with it anymore and then you’re not comfortable. Put ur foot down lady!!
Just be honest with your boyfriend , it’s okay if you don’t find them attractive!
Nothing wrong with that. Just talk to your partner about how you feel.
Just say “not feeling the chemistry”
Attraction matters, and if it’s just not there, forcing it will only make things feel weird and heavy later. FWB only works if everyone’s actually excited to be there. If you’re already feeling that way about them, it’ll just add pressure on you and maybe even your relationship. You don’t owe them anything beyond honesty. You can still appreciate them as cool people without wanting to get physical. Your boyfriend might be more open to seeing how it plays out, but you two are a team. If one of you isn’t feeling it, that’s enough reason to pump the brakes. At the end of the day, this whole idea started as something fun for you both. If it’s not fun for you anymore, there’s no point in pushing it.
You’re supposed to have sex with people you’re attracted to. If you don’t think you’ll enjoy it then don’t do it. You don’t owe strangers on reddit your body just because you chatted for a few days.
Sounds like you should keep searching. If you aren’t attracted then dont play with them. It sounds like the main issue is just they aren’t a good fit for you.
I’d say at least give it the IRL interaction especially since sex isn’t on the table for that meeting. If you still don’t feel anything by the end talk with your boyfriend and let them know it’s nothing personal. Who knows maybe face to face you’ll find chemistry or at least make some new friends.
Maybe you could just be friends. We’re not swingers but go to swinger clubs and having friends to go with makes it so much more fun. Most of them are swingers, some aren’t.
Honestly a swingers club is a good way to start anyway. You don’t even have to swap. We don’t. Just bang or do whatever with people watching. But please have a safe word or “this is too far” signal. So either can put the breaks on a situation if they’re not feeling it. From the club you dabble a little and test the waters and go slow. If you take a random couple from the internet home you’ll probably feel to akward to stop things if you suddenly stop feeling it. At a sex club you could be watching your SO kissing someone, realize this is NOT for you, and give him the signal and just bounce ou of there. Set your boundaries before you go!!! And don’t cross them.
Man, I don’t miss being in my early 20s and being terrified of ever saying the things I want out loud. Now I’ll tell you if you’re chewing too loud.
If you don’t want to talk to these people, tell your bf. If he tries to force you to, dumb him too. You’re allowed to want something, and reasonably ask for it.
What a disgusting situation
Just say no nothing to be ashamed of. If you go through with it you will regret it for a long time. It will do some damage to your self worth and confidence.
I’m single male here ready to join for FWB pm me if you guys are keen
Just say no, you have changed your mind and am no longer interested.
It may save your relationship too. Most of these kind of relationships never work out and end up with heartbreak.
Tell them you have HSV.
You’re not wrong at all. What’s the fun in having sex with someone you’re not attracted to? Find another and bounce.
Get a backbone mate.
“I’m not interested in persuing this”.
You can be all nice about it if you want “it’s not you, it’s me”. Whatever.
But you need to say no. NOW.
You are so shalllow people..
Just tell them you are having cold feet about the sharing thing and say you are sorry about waisting their time.