AITA for telling my friend she can’t crash at my place anymore because she treats it like a 24/7 hangout spot?

r/

So I (24F) have this best friend “K.” We’ve been close since high school, but lately she’s basically turned my apartment into her second home.

At first it was chill, she’d come over after work, we’d watch Netflix, maybe order food. But now… she shows up unannounced, stays till 3AM, leaves empty energy drink cans everywhere, and once even brought a date without telling me. Like… excuse me?

She doesn’t help clean, eats my snacks (“they’re just chips, you’ll survive”), and uses my bathroom like it’s her personal spa. Last week I came home and she was literally napping in my bed with MY hoodie on.

I told her straight up that I need space, and she went off about how I’m “acting brand new” and that real friends don’t put rules on hanging out.

Now she’s giving me the silent treatment and some of our other friends think I was “too harsh.” and i kinda feel sad for this now..

So Reddit… AITA for putting boundaries with my bestie who treats my place like her Airbnb?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    ^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

    So I (24F) have this best friend “K.” We’ve been close since high school, but lately she’s basically turned my apartment into her second home.

    At first it was chill, she’d come over after work, we’d watch Netflix, maybe order food. But now… she shows up unannounced, stays till 3AM, leaves empty energy drink cans everywhere, and once even brought a date without telling me. Like… excuse me?

    She doesn’t help clean, eats my snacks (“they’re just chips, you’ll survive”), and uses my bathroom like it’s her personal spa. Last week I came home and she was literally napping in my bed with MY hoodie on.

    I told her straight up that I need space, and she went off about how I’m “acting brand new” and that real friends don’t put rules on hanging out.

    Now she’s giving me the silent treatment and some of our other friends think I was “too harsh.” and i kinda feel sad for this now..

    So Reddit… AITA for putting boundaries with my bestie who treats my place like her Airbnb?

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > i almost got in hands with my best friend cause she was abusing my house

    Help keep the sub engaging!

    Don’t downvote assholes!

    Do upvote interesting posts!

    Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ

    Subreddit Announcements

    Follow the link above to learn more


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

  3. JuniorGuitar3001 Avatar

    NTA, and she’s gaslighting you

  4. zombiemiki Avatar

    Are you sure you’re not dating?

  5. diminishingpatience Avatar

    NTA. She isn’t your friend. Those who think that you’re “too harsh” can have her in their homes instead.

  6. Urbanyeti0 Avatar

    NTA, you finally stopped being a doormat, real friends respect boundaries

  7. Huntress145 Avatar

    NTA. Change the locks

  8. jdo5000 Avatar

    NTA and this person is not your friend. Also you say you came home and she was in your bed…how did she get in? She doesn’t have a key does she?

  9. cressidacole Avatar

    Two options:

    1 – go to her place and act the same as she does in yours

    2 – stop opening your door

  10. trashwatcherlol Avatar

    I have a friend that is somewhat like that but he buys us food, leaves the leftovers in my fridge (if it’s in my fridge, I’m gonna eat it) and volunteers to drive whenever we go places so it doesn’t bother me as much as it did at first.

  11. The1Bonesaw Avatar

    AI Slop… Read the OP, then read the comments. It’s so obvious just from the massive change in grammar style.

    Then there’s the ubiquitous “half my friend say this and the other half blah, blah”, which is designed to increase engagement… this is bullshit.

  12. VolleyballSmurfette Avatar

    Why is this even a question. If she’s taking advantage of you then don’t let her take advantage of you.

  13. bubblegutts00 Avatar

    Had me until you said she was napping in your bed with your hoodie on… ok 🙄

  14. AvocadoSmoothie24 Avatar

    You not the A. She is a parasite. Ask your other friends to accommodate her & her needs if they truly care. Tell them to report back in 1 month