i’ll keep it brief. i went to an mls soccer match with my family last night. as the match ended and everyone is descending the steps, a man brushed his hip against my butt. i assume this is accidental.
then he does a little hip thrust into my butt. i pause and look over my shoulder and keep moving. the third time he pressed his whole body to by back and so i stopped walking, turned around and screamed in his face to stop touching me. then i kept walking and found my family and we left.
my father and husband are upset and think i made a scene. even my mother said i didn’t need to react so strongly. but idk, if you touch me like that repeatedly and it escalates like that, i am going to scream at you. or maybe swing.
but i am curious what the rest of the world thinks outside of my family circle. aita?
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i’ll keep it brief. i went to an mls soccer match with my family last night. as the match ended and everyone is descending the steps, a man brushed his hip against my butt. i assume this is accidental.
then he does a little hip thrust into my butt. i pause and look over my shoulder and keep moving. the third time he pressed his whole body to by back and so i stopped walking, turned around and screamed in his face to stop touching me. then i kept walking and found my family and we left.
my father and husband are upset and think i made a scene. even my mother said i didn’t need to react so strongly. but idk, if you touch me like that repeatedly and it escalates like that, i am going to scream at you. or maybe swing.
but i am curious what the rest of the world thinks outside of my family circle. aita?
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> yelling at a person and then everyone telling me i’m an asshole from it? it’s right in the post
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. That’s literally sexual harassment, he was humping you in broad daylight.
I’m more worried about your husband’s reaction, he’s more annoyed about a slight inconvenience than his wife being harassed by another man
More people should shout at and shame these creeps. Making a fuss was appropriate because what he was doing was sexual assault.
YTA (possibly). Soccer matches are busy places and people get crammed up against each other (you don’t say what the crowd situation was). You’re right to object, but screaming as the first vocal objection is overboard unless he was really getting “overly personal”.
NTA. You didn’t realize how freaky he was being until he did the full-body press, by which time, a scream seems like the least offensive reaction to have. An accidental brush is one thing; what this guy did was to increase the level of unwanted touching bit-by-bit thinking that he could get away with it.
Maybe you might have told him to knock it off when he hip thrust into your butt; but still, there’s no excusing what he did.
Absolutely NTA
Hopefully the creep will think twice before trying that again, embarrassing someone like that is sometimes the best way to get your power back – as long as you are safe to do so.
Sorry that the people who are supposed to have your back appear to think that you should have just “put up”, they are thinking like AHs even if they aren’t actually, the rest of the time.
As women, we are taught not to make a big deal out of things. As humans we experience things that we doubt because we feel like no one would really do this, or this isn’t a normal thing to happen. When this touching started you did what anyone would, assume it was accidental. The second time was suspicious but let him know that you noticed, but the third time was unmistakable and you gave him what he deserved. Your family are the AHs, you did the absolute right thing. If we women don’t call this out when it happens it will happen to our daughters and granddaughters.
Sounds to me you were going too slow and he kept bumping into you, or he was being impatient and running into you. But pretending he was humping your butt walking down the stairs is a stretch. Basically ESH
F ur entire crew for not backing you up, even emotionally. You probably weren’t wrong about that guy being a creep and your husband should be proud you stand up for yourself. Tf.
Good for you for calling him out!! Once is an accident. Three times is deliberate. I don’t understand why people want to brush off what is actually sexual assault.
NTA
NTA. I grew up being taught to be nice polite and pleasing. But with the advent of the Internet we are discovering how common this is. Sister, I’m proud of you. My first thought was, “Either yell in his face or knock him down. Any man saying otherwise is a man who would never do it and thinks “it’s just an accident”.😡🤬
NTA. Once or twice might be accident, but a third time and pressing his whole body to your back was deliberate assault. The guy needed to be called out for his harassment and shame on your family for making this your fault.
NTA. What does your family expect? That you just let random men rub their penis against you in crowds?
Why does your family suck so much. NTA
If you think he was touching you in appropriately, he was definately touching you in appropriately.
NTA
That bloke was gross as all hell. He needed to be put in his place, which is away from you. The first time may have been an accident. The other two times were deliberate.
You did exactly the right thing. NTA
The creepy guy who was touching you needed to be told to stop, and that kind of guy is unlikely to listen to anything quieter from the woman hes molesting than a full-blown scream in his face.
Your father and husband are likely upset because this kind of creepy guy would likely have stopped at once if either of the men had told him “That’s my wife” – “that’s my daughter” “hands off her”. But instead of turning to them for protection, you stopped him yourself.
Tell them you wanted him to stop, and he stopped, and you hope he was embarrassed and humiliated by having his little private creepy joy made public as a disgusting harassment. Ask them why they’re upset you didn’t just let him keep touching you, and they’ll probably say
“Oh it might have been accidental, how did you know”
or
“Why didn’t you ask ME”
It was not accidental. The shouldn’t accuse you of lying about that or doubt your judgment. And you didn’t need to ask them. Ask them why they’re not backing you up.
NTA. And thanks.
NTA.
I have attended hundreds of football games over the past 20 years, so I’ve been in hundreds of crowds of people. I’ve been poked in the back by people’s bags, I’ve felt arms graze by my butt, and I’ve been bumped into. I ignore all of those.
I can say that I have never felt someone thrust against me. But I can assure you I would react if I did.
The dude may have been a creep – or maybe it was super crowded – I wasn’t there 🤷🏻♂️
My suggestion: walk in-between dad and husband (one in front of you, one behind you) as you walk to form a human buffer.
I always make sure I buffer my wife from strangers in situations like this.
NTA! Wonderful! Weirdos like that deserve it.
NTA.
I was heavily pregnant at target waiting in line. Woman next to me starts chitchatting about my belly etc. Older gentleman in front of me turns around and says “just don’t go into labor here”. I looked at him and said “that’s not really something I can control”. He chuckles and then places his hand on my shoulder “I was just joking” (or something like that). I immediately raised my voice and said don’t touch me etc. asked an employee to get security (she promptly opened a new lane for me and was appalled and telling me to wait til he left) the woman I was talking to was horrified but he thought she was on his side and we were both like, no you’re wrong. That’s assault.
In typical old man fashion he shook his head in disbelief.
Now, if that “minor” touch is considered assault and my reaction was warranted, what person in their everloving right mind would consider what happened to you to be normal and for you to have overreacted?!
NTA
You did well. I’d just tell your family that you’re sorry they’re ok with you being sexually assaulted. Then just leave them alone for a while and let them simmer.
Sounds like your family thinks Sexual Assault is a “no big deal” situation. The more posts I see where people are going off on the one who was wronged the more I hate the world we live in.
NTA
WELL DONE!!!! I’m sorry your family didn’t have your back – esp your mother who should know. Men will continue to push boundaries and hope we don’t react.
You did good! I’m proud of you. I hope you shamed this guy enough to not do it again. So you made a scene, so what? He was being indecent, what were you supposed to do?……tell him nicely not to?
Is everyone in your family so protective of male predators and creeps? That guy who pressed into you knew what he was doing.
NTA