I (40F) was out of town for a planned work trip over the weekend, which is something I do on a quarterly basis for my job. My husband (39M) stayed home with our son (4M) for a boys weekend.
They dropped me at the airport on Friday evening and I checked in with them when I arrived to say goodnight and let them know all was well. On Saturday I sent my husband a good morning text and asked how our son was doing; sometimes he struggles with sleeping. I didn’t get a response.
I went to the planned work events and sent another message a couple hours later, when I didn’t get a response I called but still, nothing. I sent a few more messages throughout the day and even texted his brother to check in on them, his brother said he did not respond to him either.
By that evening I was pretty concerned as I still hadn’t heard anything, I ended up calling the hospital to see if anything had happened and even checked to see if there were any accident reports, I tried contacting the one neighbor I have the number to but they were unavailable so I decided to call the cops to do a welfare check.
When the police showed up my husband and son were at home and he said was not answering his phone because they were watching tv and playing games all day. But I just don’t see how he couldn’t send even a text the entire day to let me know things were good.
He says I blew this out of proportion and should have waited until bedtime as he was going to have my son call me then anyway.
My husband is against using location tracking apps so there was no way of me to know where he was and if everything was ok unless he told me. The police chalked it up to a misunderstanding so legally nothing more will be done but my husband is upset with me for undermining his parenting abilities. Now I’m wondering if I and the TA for having a welfare check called on him?
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I (40F) was out of town for a planned work trip over the weekend, which is something I do on a quarterly basis for my job. My husband (39M) stayed home with our son (4M) for a boys weekend.
They dropped me at the airport on Friday evening and I checked in with them when I arrived to say goodnight and let them know all was well. On Saturday I sent my husband a good morning text and asked how our son was doing; sometimes he struggles with sleeping. I didn’t get a response.
I went to the planned work events and sent another message a couple hours later, when I didn’t get a response I called but still, nothing. I sent a few more messages throughout the day and even texted his brother to check in on them, his brother said he did not respond to him either.
By that evening I was pretty concerned as I still hadn’t heard anything, I ended up calling the hospital to see if anything had happened and even checked to see if there were any accident reports, I tried contacting the one neighbor I have the number to but they were unavailable so I decided to call the cops to do a welfare check.
When the police showed up my husband and son were at home and he said was not answering his phone because they were watching tv and playing games all day. But I just don’t see how he couldn’t send even a text the entire day to let me know things were good.
He says I blew this out of proportion and should have waited until bedtime as he was going to have my son call me then anyway.
My husband is against using location tracking apps so there was no way of me to know where he was and if everything was ok unless he told me. The police chalked it up to a misunderstanding so legally nothing more will be done but my husband is upset with me for undermining his parenting abilities. Now I’m wondering if I and the TA for having a welfare check called on him?
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> 1/ I called a welfare check for my husband and son after no response from them all day long. 2/ I didn’t trust that my husband had things handled and brought in the law to help.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. People care about him.
NTA. Part of being a parent is communicating with each other, which you tried to do and he failed at.
Nah
I get both sides but I’m also divorced and co parenting I usually call in the morning and evening.
I can see how he would feel you don’t trust him not to parent your twos child.
I would have done the same thing… NTA
Very similar to another post where the wife calls for a welfare check because the husband ignores every text and phone call, and then he has a hissy fit that sone cared enough to check on him.
Your husband was with another woman, probably with your son as he’s likely a ‘single dad’ with not much free time.
NAH, I think, but you and your husband should have a plan for communication on these out of town weekends. If you both agree for a morning text and an evening call, then he knows what you’re expecting, and you know when to worry.
NTA. There is no excuse for not checking in with your kids other parent when you are doing nothing all day but watch tv and play games. If something awful should happen, then there really isn’t a way for a four year old to call for help.
um no you are NTA. your husband is totally inconsiderate. i’d lose my shit if my husband went completely MIA while with our kid.
YTA, really, one day and you’re calling hospitals for accident reports. There’s a chance that you may have some control issues and the husband is just trying a little down time with his son.
You might have to give him a little space. I will usually text my wife once in the evening if we are away from each other but it’s still a pretty simple text or a short call.
Edit: that is coming off harsher than I intended. I’m going to try to lighten it up.
YTA. Invest in a home phone. Or maybe a alexa device, you can do a drop in. But fundamentally, trust your spouse to be able to go 48 hrs without travesty without need for a check in. Our current world allows too much immediate access.
Also, if this is quarterly, sit down, share how anxiety this is and decide if y’all want a check in system. It can feel controling and overbearing to some, just as much as it can be comforting to others.
NTA, when you have children you have to be able to check in with the other parent. Also, you didn’t jump straight to “emergency” you tried his brother (who he also ignored) and a neighbor (who wasn’t available). All this could have been avoided if he had bothered to respond to anyone.
NTA
He undermined his own parenting abilities by not being able to reapond
NTA, but your husband is. My first impression of your husband is “He’s mad he’s stuck “babysitting” his own child all weekend so he’s taking it out on you.” Also, not wanting location tracking when you have a child involved is very sus.
NTA: I can totally understand why you were concerned ,your husband was being inconsiderate by not sending a still text letting you know everything was good.
NTA. I think his brother could have gone over in person but since he didn’t who else could you send?
NAH Can’t blame you for worrying. But calling the cops when it wasn’t even 24 hours is a bit excessive. Why couldn’t the brother swing by and check on the boys? A friend, a neighbor?
I’m editing my response. Looks like you did try calling him.
I would have been concerned as well.
There’s no harm in doing a welfare check for everyone’s peace of mind.
Super weird that he wouldn’t check his phone all day.
NTA
Do you not know anyone who lives close by? Family, friends, neighbours to pop around? – anyone but the emergency services. It does seem very extreme calling the police.
Dad did not understand the assignment. He should be responding to your reasonable check in. Doesn’t your 4 year old want to say Hi to Mom – send a photo of them having fun? That’s what my husband and I always did in cases like this. It’s just common courtesy.
YTA Jesus what a over reaction
YTA. Holy love of over reactions Batman. One day and you are checking hospitals and calling the police. His phone could have died. He could have, as turned out to be the case, have been busy. You’re 40 – you are old enough to remember when most people only had a landline and it was common to be out of touch for a whole day or more. Go touch grass. If something had happened the police or hospital would have contacted you. It’s pretty clear that you don’t trust your husband or view him as a competent adult. Your husband is right to be pissed off. You also wasted police time and resources.
OP can’t even trust her husband for a weekend.
NTA – your husband’s behavior sounds sketchy. Maybe make a concrete plan for how you will communicate before next trip.
Info: Did you try and call him? Or just text? And, did you tell him in your texts, or voice mail, that you were concerned and planning to call for a wellness check?
Yta.
Your ridiculous. It’s one damn day. And did you actually call or just text? 90% of the time I don’t hear my text due to environmental noise. Especially kid noise.
Calm down. Take a breath.
Sheesh.
Yta. People survived for hundreds of years without knowing where someone was every minute of the day. Take a deep breath and next time, agree upon check in times, with the expectation that your husband would contact you in an emergency
Here’s the thing: I look at texts as something I can respond to when I have a chance to. A phone call gets answered as it’s assumed it’s a more urgent need for a response. So, yah, if you didn’t call and only sent texts, that’s weird and sounds kinda fishy to be honest. Why didn’t you call him? Maybe we are just weird, my other half is on the road often, he’s a heavy haul truck driver, gone days, sometimes weeks at a time. When he’s out of town we text once in the morning when we each wake up/start our day, then we talk when I go to lunch and we talk again after dinner/before heading to bed. It’s called communication. Not long, sometimes conversations are no more than 3-5 minutes long. It’s the point of having the common courtesy to check in, verbally/personally, with each other during our days.
NAH
You were right to be concerned but I would have waited until night time before contacting anyone else to check on them. I would have then laid into him that I deserve a text at the minimum in response to my calls or messages.
You say you travel somewhat regularly for your job and therefore your husband is likely used to handling your kiddo during your absence. Therefore you sort of jumped the gun in trying to contact so many people before it was even your kid’s bedtime (which is just the start of nightfall for adults).
Your husband on the other hand needs to chillax about location sharing and should be ok with switching it on in certain situations. He has a family and a young kid. He can’t be like “I am not ok with being tracked neither will I answer calls or respond to messages”, especially when he is with his kid in the absence of the mother.
ESH. He should have responded even a short message. You should have managed your anxiety better. It sounds like overall it has been less than 24 hours. That’s an insanely short amount of time to be calling a welfare check. Sometimes my phone dies and I don’t charge it for that long.
That’s a huge overaction OP and you may have scared your kid for life. Like wtf? Ask anyone else to go buy and ring the doorbell if you’re that worried. Jfc.
NTA he was punishing you.
I do think it was an overreaction and misuse of public resources. Your husband sucks for being so astonishingly bad at communication. I think you should have asked the brother, a friend, or neighbor to go over if you felt so strongly that something must have gone wrong for them safety-wise. Or, continued to text/call.
You mention you go away on a quarterly basis. Has this kinda thing come up before? I’m leaning ESH because your spouse should have just responded in a reasonable period of time but I think you should have waited longer and tried other ways to reach him.
How many hours were you out of contact?
Soft YTA? Bordering on N A H
I also don’t carry my phone on me when I’m at home, but I don’t get wellness checks called on me by my spouse. I also have high anxiety, but I trust that my partner can handle emergencies.
I too would have suggested that you wait until evening, or at least till after your kiddos bedtime for a check in.
I think you worked yourself up by calling around and getting responses that would elevate your anxiety – that is something I would have done to try to either solve or rationalize my panic.
If this is something that you experience a lot (anxiety when disconnected from your child and husband) I would look into therapy. I don’t think your husband was in the wrong here. You pulled the trigger earlier than most would have (I think, this is just my opinion).
Either NAH or ESH. Y’all’s communication sucks, and I get both sides. I suck at checking my text and have anxiety about texting if I worry the person might get in trouble if it dings in a meeting. But as a majority sitter for my siblings for medical procedures and medical emergencies, I would respond as soon as I saw the text, knowing they would be worried/feeling guilty they aren’t there.
That being said I’m a little suspicious of this. He’s 4. It’s not like a preteen or teenager who can be unsupervised making lunch, etc. so he definitely had time not watching TV/movies and playing video games if he was truly watching the kid. But I recognize that’s due to one of my B.I.Ls. having ADHD and getting sucked into his video games and failing to watch my Autistic nephew who’s a runner.
It was only one day, and apparently not even the son’s bedtime yet; but I can see getting worried. I’ll go NAH.
All the YTA’s are from the red pilled incels who think child care is a woman’s job. Also, they don’t have kids because won’t talk to them.
NTA. But you have WAY bigger issues with your husband. It seems he wanted to punish you for watching his own kid. Like the redpilled guys.
ESH – yes he could have responded to one of your messages instead of ignoring them but you really blew this out of proportion. You say you texted him in the morning, when in the morning? 6am, 8am, 10am? And by the evening you haven’t heard anything back. What are you considering the evening? 4pm, 5pm, 7pm? Your son is 4 and I’m assuming not going to bed at 10pm so just how long was there no response? You texted him multiple times and texted his brother but you called the hospital? Did you call your husband? Sounds like he was enjoying time with his kid instead of being glued to the phone and I know people are gonna come after me for that comment but it really doesn’t sound like this was more than 8-12 hours of no communication. Yes I can see being concerned but call the cops for a welfare check is too much.
NTA your husband who had your 4yo was not responding. That is unacceptable. Even an “We’re good” text could have stopped this
I’m curious where you live where the cops were willing to do this. I’m quite sure where I live I would have been told to GTFO. Not even an entire day had passed, so I think you overreacted. Sounds like you only called once? Did your texts say, “I am extremely concerned and need you to respond or else I’m going to call the cops”? Did you ask the brother, or anyone else, to go over there in person to check in? I understand your concern but given that you don’t mention having done any of those things before involving the police, YTA.
NTA, because of the 4 yo kid involved. This was irregular behavior on your husband’s part, and you did the right thing.
YTA
Married human male here.
You left on Friday evening and were already calling the police on Saturday night. Why on earth would an emergency be more likely than him being busy or his phone being off? It hadn’t even been a full day before you contacted authorities. If I was your husband, I’d be embarrassed and frustrated.
He’s your husband and the father of your child. He should be trusted to handle things while you’re gone, and he should be able to trust that you won’t go ballistic one day without him.
I think calling within 12 hours was a bit excessive but not completely unreasonable. Your husband should have definitely gotten in touch at some point during the day and its strange that he didn’t.
You should have called at some point. If he did not answer a call and didn’t respond to texts then I don’t think it was unreasonable.
Ignoring his phone after repeated attempts to contact him. It’s his own fault. He was embarrassed when the police showed up. He looked stupid to the cops, as he was stupid. Whatever game he was playing toward you backfired.
You may want to get some nanny cams to be able to see what is going on at home if he can’t be bothered to text or answer his phone. I don’t know if I’d even let him know about nanny cams. But that’s me.
NTA but I think you definitely overreacted. Is he usually a pretty good communicator or is that your expectation? They were chilling so he probably didn’t think he needed to check in with you about it, as it hadn’t even been a day and you were going to be gone for only a weekend. It sounds like you may have issues with control or experience anxiety. If you do this often, shouldn’t it be pretty much a routine at this point?
YTA- Your spouse put his phone on silent or away so that he could have a Daddy /son day without interruption. That’s something you should be celebrating. If it got to be like the next morning and you still hadn’t heard from them, ok – call the brother and see if he could stop by and check, or any other friend of yours. Welfare checks are of you haven’t heard from someone in 2-3 days. Not 12-24 hours.
I’m not going to call you an AH, but I do think you need to look at whether your anxiety was spiraling way out of proportion to what was actually going on, and if you need to take steps to better manage that in the future. You know kiddo and husband were safe at home. Husband didn’t answer your text… okay. But maybe his phone died or he and kiddo were having so much fun they were too busy. There are lots of scenarios that are perfectly harmless. It seems like a huge overreaction to jump to calling the hospitals and sending the police to the door. It hadn’t even been 24 hours. This is one really weird consequence of cell phones. The expectation that if you don’t text back right away, you can have the cops punitively called on you as a “welfare check” when you’re just having a nice day hanging out with your son doing dad and kid things.
I would personally apologize to your husband for freaking out and undermining his parenting, and consider if I needed to take bigger steps to manage anxiety.
Over 24 hours with no response and it felt out of character to you that seems a reasonable reaction.
NTA, specifically because of the four year old.
It’s not unreasonable to expect your coparent to respond to calls/texts at some point in a whole day while you’re away. If it was just your husband, I’d say you overreacted, but with a child too young to care for himself also in the picture and no options for someone local to check in, this tilts into “unfortunate but understandable.”
the people saying “it wasn’t even 24 hours” are absolute blowing my mind. these are the same people that if they had gotten in a car accident and died would be like “HIS WIFE DIDNT EVEN WORRY?!”
this has nothing to do with him parenting or the kid. if i left for a trip and then couldn’t get ahold of my boyfriend who i have zero kids with, there would still be an issue!!!!
id be seriously concerned if my partner couldn’t understand how no-contact for that long is so worrying
NTA
Does he make a habit of not answering you? If everything has been fine before, did anything in particular make you think it wouldn’t have been okay? Sometimes I don’t answer my phone for 24 hours, and if someone did a welfare check on me, I’d be annoyed. Especially if he was having fun with the son. It also tracks that he didn’t answer his brother either if he was as busy as he says. You don’t give enough information to determine whether him not answering is a regular thing, whether you panicking happens often. It’s hard to make an assumption on this one post, but without info, I would say YTA because you made it seem like the ENTIRE weekend instead of giving him 24 hours to see whether he’d call you that night.
NTA
was this an overreaction? Maybe. Are you an asshole? No.
This is not you freaking out over not hearing from your husband. This is about not hearing back about the status of your four year old child. Your son being part of the equation changes this whole thing and is what makes you NTA
YTA. Good grief. You didn’t get a reply in the morning so you spam text and call everyone including hospitals? Some times I go hours without answering because I’m busy or at work. You need to calm down.
NTA I’m co raising a 3yo with several people and I would lose my shit if I didn’t hear from whoever had the baby for several hours let alone a whole day with missed phone calls. That’s not ok. Glad everyone’s ok.
He didn’t respond as he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be with your kid.
Yes asshole, don’t call the police on anyone you like/love.
Sheesh
Info: did he respond when you texted him that you had landed?
Nta,
Our minds go to all the what if’s when we can’t reach our family & friends. I would say if he is normally not on his phone, it’s possible it’s just an oops. If he is on his phone often to all day, he is ignoring you on purpose. Now, why he would do that is for you two to communicate to the why. It wasn’t an overreaction if he normally answers his phone or responds to text or does call back often or quickly. However, if he doesn’t do those things, then it was an overreaction because you should know his habits by now. His reaction also doesn’t vibe well with being understanding about worrying his spouse. He sounds frustrated or almost resentful of you. Seems there is more to his reaction than just hey babe I get you were worried, next time we will do better
Well at least you didn’t fly back home!! Yes terrible he didn’t respond in your timely manner Yes you Overreacted. No I don’t have children!! Hey get a carbon monoxide monitor in your phone get the house and the kid a medical alert bracelet. You’ll know the whereabouts of those 2 things. Maybe your husband just didn’t want to talk to you
I wouldn’t call you the ass, but a little obsessive maybe? I don’t think I would’ve appreciated the cops showing up either.
So you guys should do some communication so this doesn’t happen again
NTA, but you only just barely. ‘Cause, like, I get you get worried when you can’t get ahold of your loved one all day, buuuut calling the police was probably an overreaction. Why couldn’t his brother actually go over there if he wasn’t answering any calls?
But your husband is 100% a massive A H for ignoring your calls and texts all day. Super inconsiderate. It would be a different story if he was like “hey, we’re going to have a guys day. I’m turning my phone off to spend undivided time with Son.”
Next time, establish a communication plan in advance, maybe? So your expectations are aligned as to when to expect check-ins/how to ensure nobody’s incommunicado in an emergency.
I couldn’t get ahold of my grandma one time. She lived in a different state and the phone was busy for days. None of my family members there would check on her so I called the non emergency number and they sent the firemen… she called me to tell me that the very handsome firemen just came to her door and said I was worried about her. We laughed and it was done.
Your husband could have used it as a reason for your son to interact with the police, but he knew what he was doing. This isn’t about partying parenting. It’s respect to check in with your partner.
Absolutely not
NTA. You tried repeatedly throughout the day. Surely he understands you would be concerned. It takes two seconds to say good morning all good we’ll catch up with you later.
Your anxiety would naturally also affect your work performance, distract you etc.
Would you say he generally resents these periodic work trips of yours?
NTA it literally takes a second to send a text and he was caring for a child, of course you were worried.
INFO: Does his brother (or any other family/friends) live locally who could have stopped by to see if he was home and ok?
I’m leaning toward nta. He ignored all communications because they were watching tv/playing? He didn’t look at his phone all day? He didn’t think to check in with you to see how you were doing? Even if he was avoiding you for some reason, he also ignored his brother.
INFO: How many times did you try calling him before you called the cops?? It seems like only once?
He’s the AH for not responding but cops have killed people they’ve been sent on welfare checks for. I’m not sure hence the INFO question but it doesn’t really seem like you exhausted all the options before calling the cops so I’m leaning towards E S H.
ESH. Calling the police is too much. But having a 4yo be on screen time all day sucks too.
I just love the excuse that people’s phones die as though there’s nothing in the world like chargers. And I can’t be the only person who has them scattered around in the car in the house, etc..
I suspect that he is not the most responsible or communicative person and this might be a pattern.
NTA
I am of the ideology that if my wife calls me, I answer the damn phone or get back to her soon, because that is what I expect of her. This is not 1995 when most people did not have a cell phone and being out of contact for extended periods was a legitimate thing. In 2025, we all have cell phones and while I don’t think you are required to answer every call that comes in, you’re allowed to avoid people if you want, your spouse is not one of them. Even if you don’t want to talk, I definitely agree with at least a text message response.
NTA. I also find it sus that he doesn’t allow his location to be shared. I’m all about my personal space but sharing our locations has never been a point of resistance. To me, his resistance raises flags and might be hiding something.
NTA. In today’s world people expect an instantaneous answer. You waited an entire day no calls, texts, snaps etc. You tried his family, neighbors etc. I don’t know what else you could do. Besides of course wait around panicking until he finally decides to answer. I agree with some of the others he’s “punishing” you for going.
Info: how late in the evening are we talking?
My husband is very focused on our kid when he has solo daddy daughter dates. It’s not unusual to not get a response from him. So if I didn’t hear anything at 3pm? I wouldn’t be worried. I likely wouldn’t be concerned until 5-6pm.
NTA
Your 40 year old husband is a huge AH. Has time to play games and TV but can’t answer his phone? Does he resent you for going on a work trip? Do you travel often? Did you have an argument recently?
He didn’t respond to texts for the night and the next day. Ignored his brother too. You did the right thing and should do it again the next time. Nut honestly you should get to the root of his bullshit games. And by him not responding to his brother even gave you every right to escalate things. You have a 4 year old son. Why would your husband not respond to you?
I’d die on the hill that he needs to respond if he’s caring for your child. I’d also serve divorce papers if he pulls this shit again. husband needs to grow up. (If you have a shared phone plan or have access to your router I bet you can find activity throughout he day of social media or other texts to prove he was on his phone ) Even more so if he’s always on his phone at night.
So how I’m reading – you had communication on Friday night. Then your husband went almost 24 hours without responding to any text or calls made by you or other family, while he was taking care of your 4yo child. Unless you’d had a no check-in plan in advance – definite NTA.
I dogsit for people & don’t normally go that long without letting people know their dog is alive much less a parent with their actual child.
NTA really, but neither was your husband so guess a soft ESH. If my husband called for a welfare check because I hadn’t responded to his texts, I’d be pretty passed for a while. But his ignoring your texts was also unacceptable. He very likely looked at his phone at least once during the day. It seems like there’s a fundamental problem with communication here. Perhaps couples therapy can help.
NTA
Theres no real reason he couldnt have sent you a simple message here or there. At the LEAST let you know that we wasnt going to be on his phone much but thay he’d check in at bedtime. I dont think its an insult to his parenting ability. I think its a normal response if youve tried several times to contact him and theres no other way for you to ensure their safety.
Does he expect you to answer every text? If so then NTA. If he understands that you spending time with the child and the house stuff then yes. YTAH.
Sounds like you don’t trust your husband to look after your son on his own.
I’m surprised that you don’t have any home security cameras, even if just a doorbell camera. At the very least, you would be able to see if the last activity was him exiting or entering the house.
NAH but y’all need to align (not just talk but actually agree) on how you communicate when out of town.
NTA
If your husband were home alone this would be an overreach, but you have every right to be concerned about your four-year-old. Your husband was irresponsible not to respond sooner.
NTA. When you have someone’s child with you, you MUST be in contact. What if something had happened to your husband and your 4 yo was left alone?
Don’t track your husband then. Track your kid. He doesn’t get a say in that
NTA
NTA for one reason: I had a friend a year or so ago plan a week long trip without her husband across the country. He messaged her before getting on her plane and after landing she couldn’t get ahold of him. Figured he was sleeping and tried again the next day. Long story short, she sent a friend over to their house to check on him and he had suffered a brain aneurism in his sleep and had passed away the first night of her trip. Trip was cut short and the entire situation was incredibly sad. They were both in their mid-thirties. Bad things can happen. Communication is important.
It’s wild seeing all the “YTA”s in here 😳 are those people not parents? Or not actively involved in their children’s lives?
I absolutely would be freaked if my husband didn’t answer my texts/calls for that long. Was he really not on his phone that whole time?! He was choosing to ignore you.
NTA but seems like there are some underlying issues.
NTA
I would straight up tell him you are putting a security camera system in the home now and if he doesn’t like it he can pound sand
I think he will fight tooth and nail because lets be real…he wasn’t at home with your 4 year old or he was home but he had a female guest there with him…hence the not answering the phone
Bot.
My boyfriend. BOYFRIEND as in not husband. Who I don’t have a kid with. Who I don’t LIVE with. Shares his location with me and puts trackers in his car, on his motorcycle, and in all his bags. I know his PINs, computer password, and his phones are set up with my face to unlock them as well as his. I have the logins to his Ring cameras that are on his porch and in his house. If he’s going to be unavailable for more than a couple hours he texts and lets me know. Regardless of what he’s doing, he will ALWAYS pick up the phone if I call because I hate talking on the phone—so if I call he knows it’s important. I didn’t ask for any of this, nor does he make a big deal about doing it. He just does it.
There are zero valid reason why your husband didn’t respond. Zero. Something is up.
INFO: Can you post screenshots of your texts? Withholding judgement until I see for myself how annoying (or not) they actually were.
YTA. It sounds very controlling. Father and son were engrossed in their activities and didn’t text you back. Boo-hoo. You don’t call the police over that, especially with less than 24 hours since the last message.
NTA, only because your son was there.
That being said – this is a quarterly trip. What is the “status quo” on communication usually?
INFO: Is that… a really unusual level of noncommunication? Like does he normally super reliably text you back and you guys normally text a lot every day when you’re not sitting next to each other? Because whether this is an appalling overreaction kind of depends whether it was logically reasonable of you to think this was a sign something was wrong.
NTA
Friday night to Saturday night without communication from a partner who’s flying solo with a 4-year-old? I’d have called in International Rescue.
That’s not normal behaviour from him, theres something going on.
NTA- I think most moms would agree. When leaving a toddler, especially overnight, it’s stressful for momma. Dad knows that and deliberately didn’t ease your mind.
I go into the city for work once a quarter and usually stay one night. My husband texts all day to check on me and send pics of the kids. He knows it eases my mind and he likes to know I’m ok too.
He could have sent you an “all good- enjoy your day!” Literally 5 seconds
YTA. Imagine putting your phone down for half a day and getting the cops called on you.
Is this the same guy who went out for deodorant at 10pm, and didn’t get home until 7am and the OP in that case had already reported him as missing?
NTA but maybe it depends on your relationship. My husband would never go a full day without texting me back, especially if he was with our son while I was away. If I called for welfare check after a few hours of not hearing from him, he wouldn’t be surprised.
NTA – your husband didn’t check his phone at all the whole day? I would have been concerned too. I think it’s normal to check in with your partner once or twice a day even if you’re not traveling. It’s fine that he wanted a boys day or weekend with his son, but he also has to demonstrate some responsibility and common sense by checking his phone periodically.
What if something had happened to you while you were traveling and no one could get in touch with him?