My(27m) parents have been friends with Aunt ‘Emma’ and Uncle ‘Ted’ since they were in school. Aunt Emma and Uncle Ted have a son(15), ‘John.’ Unfortunately they’ve hit a rough patch in their marriage. Arguments that have only gotten worse, to the point that they’re threatening each other with divorce.
Uncle Ted called before I went on my honeymoon in the US and asked me if he could transfer me some money to buy birthday gifts for John. He wanted me to get a Seattle Mariners(John’s favorite baseball team) hat and hoodie. I said ‘Sure.’ Didn’t think much of the request. Just went to the store and got the merch. Had them in a wrapped box at Uncle Ted’s office until it was John’s birthday.
When Aunt Emma saw the presents, though, she accused Uncle Ted of using money to win John over with more expensive presents. She said I should have gotten something on her behalf too and could have billed her later. That it wasn’t fair of Uncle Ted to go behind her back and get something she couldn’t, and I shouldn’t have helped him in such a way.
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My(27m) parents have been friends with Aunt ‘Emma’ and Uncle ‘Ted’ since they were in school. Aunt Emma and Uncle Ted have a son(15), ‘John.’ Unfortunately they’ve hit a rough patch in their marriage. Arguments that have only gotten worse, to the point that they’re threatening each other with divorce.
Uncle Ted called before I went on my honeymoon in the US and asked me if he could transfer me some money to buy birthday gifts for John. He wanted me to get a Seattle Mariners(John’s favorite baseball team) hat and hoodie. I said ‘Sure.’ Didn’t think much of the request. Just went to the store and got the merch. Had them in a wrapped box until it was John’s birthday.
When Aunt Emma saw the presents, though, she accused Uncle Ted of using money to win John over with more expensive presents and said I should have gotten something on her behalf too. That it wasn’t fair of Uncle Ted to go behind her back and get something she couldn’t, and I shouldn’t have done what he asked.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole since I did get their kid presents on his behalf but not hers, which was arguably not very fair.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but Emma and Ted are. You thought it was a father buying a gift for his son via you that he wouldn’t be able to get elsewhere, not Ted trying to manipulate John’s feelings to pick him over Emma. You and John are just innocent victims of two bitter soon-to-be exes that are trying to one-up and belittle each other in an attempt to win over their kid (who ultimately will hate both of them for this bs and probably more) later in life
NTA, their drama is between them. The mother pulling her shit is not your fault. Your “uncle” asked you to do something nice for his kids birthday and paid you for it. Like a proper adult would and should do. Based on that couple sentences I can see why they might be heading toward a divorce
You are NTA. All you did was say yes to getting something. Seems to me that your “Aunt” thinks you should be a mind reader and know everything.
You did nothing wrong and tell her that you won’t be dragged into the fighting. You were asked to pick something up and did that.
Yeah, you’re definitely not the AH here. You were just doing a simple favor by picking up a gift with the money Ted sent you, that’s it. You’re not responsible for their marital drama, and it’s unfair for Emma to expect you to read her mind or get involved in their issues.
NTA
Really? People come here feeling guilty about some oddly normal things. Emma is not a nice person, and since Uncle’s gift wasn’t extravagant he wasn’t trying to buy the kid off either.
NTA dude, it’s not like you’re the parent-cop. Em and Ted need to sort their own ish out and not drag you into it. You were doing a solid for family, that’s all. Stand ur ground my guy. Let this be a lesson, don’t be the middleman in divorces, it’s super ugly.
NTA: You were being a nice person and doing him a favor . She has some major issues that she needs to handle. Sorry you got caught in the middle.
NTA. Not your job to keep the fairness in their relationship. Nothing stopped Aunt Emma from reaching out to you for a gift for John, but it was Uncle Ted who had the thought.
You did a favour for your uncle…it’s not your job to say ‘well what about aunt emma?’ or play mental gymnastics in their divorce issues.
if you aunt needed help wtih a gift she could ask herself.
Nta, Aunt Emma is being completely unreasonable. It’s not your responsibility to manage the turmoil in the marriage of two adults.
NTA
If Aunt Emma wants a favour from you she can use her words and ask for it.
NTA
What you choose to do with your money is your decision.
NTA. If Aunt Emma is pissed you didn’t psychically know to *checks notes* buy presents for her own child on her behalf, it’s no wonder the marriage is falling apart.