I have a friend staying at my house right now (for free if that matters). I live in Toronto and he’s from India.
For the past week he’s been complaining that it’s too cold and wants me to turn on the heater. For the record, the internal temperature hasn’t dropped past 20oC once, even at night. My thermostat is set to 18oC so even if the heater is “on” it wouldn’t put out heat.
My friend thinks I’m freezing him on purpose because I refuse to turn it on. I don’t know how hot he wants the place to be and think it’s insane for the environment.
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I have a friend staying at my house right now (for free if that matters). I live in Toronto and he’s from India.
For the past week he’s been complaining that it’s too cold and wants me to turn on the heater. For the record, the internal temperature hasn’t dropped past 20oC once, even at night. My thermostat is set to 18oC so even if the heater is “on” it wouldn’t put out heat.
My friend thinks I’m freezing him on purpose because I refuse to turn it on. I don’t know how hot he wants the place to be and think it’s insane for the environment.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> What I’m doing right now is refusing to set the thermostat to a higher temperature so the heating comes on. I might be the asshole because I’m letting my friend “freeze”
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. It’s your house and he’s a guest who isn’t financially contributing. If he wants a say over the thermostat he can help pay for the bills. Tell him that if he’s so cold he can wear a sweater or hoodie
NAH leaning NTA because of his attitude about it. Just get him more blankets.
Nope NTA
If he doesn’t like the temp tell him he can pay for a place and control the temp all he wants.
Not to mention 68 sounds amazing, its 86 (30) right now in Florida so we’d all love that temp.
NTA
Offer to lend him a sweater and a hat.
NTA. Oh, hi there, visitor from India. You may notice you are not in India.
NTA. Heating is expensive and not eco-friendly plus it’s your place. Although I think what he feels is valid specially if he comes from a much warmer climate so I’d suggest offering him a blanket and not acting like he’s crazy for even asking.
info:
How long is he staying and what temperature does he want it to be in the house?
>I don’t know how hot he wants the place
I’m sorry YTA cause this is a question that can be asked. “Hey can you turn on heat its freezing?” “My heater only turns on if its below 18c, what temp are you hoping it would be?” “Man, I prefer 25c” “Oh well I can’t actually do that, should I break out a blanket humble guest? Perhaps we can go to local story and get an electric blanket?”
Just don’t understand how this isn’t a 7 min conversation.
20c…..even 15c is fine
Dude is visiting cdn
Time for him to go home and seek medical attention.
Winter is coming…
NTA
Does this dude not know how to put on cloth?
NTA
My dad has spent months of his life in India and he told me he would see dudes huddled around impromptu bonfires if the weather dropped below 80 degrees F (about 26 degrees C) because to them, that was cold!
I live in Minnesota and I joke that my parents are trying to kill me if the thermostat is set to anything below 70 degrees F (21 degrees C). I think it sounds pretty cold in your house, and to your friend who is not used to these temperatures at all, it must feel to him like his fingers and toes are going to fall off any minute! BUT I hesitate to cast judgment on you because this is one of those places where hospitality rules get blurry: Is the rule that the host should adjust the temperature based on the needs of the guest, or is it the rule that the guest should shut up and submit to whatever uncomfortable temperature the host prefers since it’s their house? What is the rule in Canada, what is the rule in India, and does he know the rules are different there, if indeed they are? What temperature is he used to the inside of a home being?
I would say NAH as you both have a valid perspective and solid ground to stand on. If either of you starts getting rude about it, then that person will be the AH, because it’s just not important enough to get pissy about.
I’m from the southeastern US and visited a friend in Toronto a few years ago during December. It was cold but nothing I couldn’t handle. I would have never asked him to adjust his heating for me. Some people just expect others to do things how they want things done. At one point it was -13.2C/8.24F and I managed.
NTA
Let him know this is standard for Canada.
If he doesn’t like it now
Wait till February
Tell him heat costs alot of money
NTA.
To be fair, 18c is pretty chilly, but I’m certain sweatshirts and sweaters exist.
I don’t know if you’re an AH, because it is your house, and he’s a visitor, but typically it’s good hospitality to adjust the temperature somewhat to accommodate guests, and I think you are a bit on the low side of normal indoor temperature. Perhaps you can suck it up and run up a bit of a heating bill for him. ETA: but I guess I don’t want to call you an AH because you aren’t endangering him.
It’s not the warmest for around the house during the day, but sweaters exist. I sleep with my house colder than that at night.
Nta. They can contribute money for utilities if they want it warmer.
NAH. 20c is reasonable for where you live: it’s just a big difference to where he comes from. Instead of being snotty about it, make sure he’s got warm blankets/socks/clothes (I’m guessing he doesn’t expect to wear shoes indoors so find him some cozy slippers) and ensure that he has access to as much hot tea or whatever as he likes. If he’s really having a hard time sleeping could you borrow a small space heater?
Just be nice about it, it’s not really so surprising that a guy from India would find Canadian temperatures cold.
NTA and your friend is being unreasonable. Tell him to put more clothes on if he’s cold. I live in AZ and only ever turn the heat on sporadically to get the chill out of the house.
NTA
From a similar part of the world and agree that 18-20C is a bit chilly BUT that’s because of the temperatures we’re used to. If I were staying in someone else’s home (for free at that) and they said adjusting the temp isn’t possible then it’s not that big of a deal to just put on a jacket so I don’t feel cold
20C is fine, but 18C is frankly too cold for a guest, especially one used to much much warmer weather. I’m in Buffalo and I keep my thermostat at 18C in the winter, but I turn it up a few degrees whenever we have company.
I have family that lives near the equator. They came to visit Florida and were wearing sweat pants and sweat shirts and still cold at 82°f. It’s not cold to you, but he is freezing
I wont turn the temp above something thats comfortable for me, but I do offer blankets and hoodies and warm drinks. But I cant survive in the heat.
NTA. However, I would freeze to death in your apartment lol. I also would not refuse to put on extra layers and blankets, particularly since I wasn’t paying to stay there!
I can relate to the visitor. I moved from FNQ to Canberra mid winter. Omg. I was not aware of what cold is, temperatures in the minus Celsius. I have learnt to dress for the weather, singlet, t shirt, jumper, jacket, obviously trousers, beanie and decent socks. I did think about long john underwear but survived without. Best buy was really good boots. I wore a blanket around me inside during the day as I couldnt stop shivering at first. I splurged on a good electric blanket for the bed. Its heading into spring now, and I’m finally feeling warmer. Next winter will be good. And yea my friends place here, the electric bill is very high, and we really didnt run the heaters too much at all.