My cat Patches just turned 14 recently and was diagnosed with asthma earlier this year. I take her to the vet every few months for an antibiotic shot that seems to help her breathe better and avoid making her have to go through being on an inhaler.
Anyway, the last time I took her to the vet I had her out of the carrier in my arms. The staff was fine with this since there was no one else in the room. If a dog came in, I would put her back in and zip her up.
So, I’m waiting for the vet to come out to get us when all of a sudden the door swings open. It’s a mom and kid who is about 5. They don’t have a pet with them so I’m guessing they’re there to pick something up. Patches is startled but doesn’t go back to the carrier so I just continue holding and petting her.
While the mom is at the counter talking to the receptionist, the kid looks my way and immediately shouts “KITTY” and starts to run over to me. That makes Patches jump back in her carrier because she doesn’t like small children because of some bad experiences when she was younger.
I’m starting to zip up the carrier when the kid tries to pet her. Without thinking, I yell out: “DON’T TOUCH HER!” The kid backs up and starts crying cause I yelled, but I’m more focused on zipping my cat in.
At this point, the mom turns around and STOMPS over to me fuming. How could I yell at her kid and make her cry, it’s just a cat, she’s only a child, I should just let her pet the cat.
I tell the mom that her kid has no right to touch my cat, shouldn’t be running over to people’s pets and expecting to pet them without permission because that’s just asking to get a scratch or a bite mark, and she needs to teach her kid how to approach animals the right way, etc.
The mom doesn’t say anything back and just takes her crying kid and picks up her stuff and gives me a major stink face when leaving. I got through my appointment without any other interruptions and no one in reception really have any comments on it.
I later told a friend about it and was told I was too harsh on the kid and shouldn’t have made them cry. That I could’ve approached it more delicately. I don’t think I did anything wrong because I was protecting my cat because a lot of kids don’t know how to handle and treat animals in my experience.
I don’t know, am I the asshole here?
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My cat Patches just turned 14 recently and was diagnosed with asthma earlier this year. I take her to the vet every few months for an antibiotic shot that seems to help her breathe better and avoid making her have to go through being on an inhaler.
Anyway, the last time I took her to the vet I had her out of the carrier in my arms. The staff was fine with this since there was no one else in the room. If a dog came in, I would put her back in and zip her up.
So, I’m waiting for the vet to come out to get us when all of a sudden the door swings open. It’s a mom and kid who is about 5. They don’t have a pet with them so I’m guessing they’re there to pick something up. Patches is startled but doesn’t go back to the carrier so I just continue holding and petting her.
While the mom is at the counter talking to the receptionist, the kid looks my way and immediately shouts “KITTY” and starts to run over to me. That makes Patches jump back in her carrier because she doesn’t like small children because of some bad experiences when she was younger.
I’m starting to zip up the carrier when the kid tries to pet her. Without thinking, I yell out: “DON’T TOUCH HER!” The kid backs up and starts crying cause I yelled, but I’m more focused on zipping my cat in.
At this point, the mom turns around and STOMPS over to me fuming. How could I yell at her kid and make her cry, it’s just a cat, she’s only a child, I should just let her pet the cat.
I tell the mom that her kid has no right to touch my cat, shouldn’t be running over to people’s pets and expecting to pet them without permission because that’s just asking to get a scratch or a bite mark, and she needs to teach her kid how to approach animals the right way, etc.
The mom doesn’t say anything back and just takes her crying kid and picks up her stuff and gives me a major stink face when leaving. I got through my appointment without any other interruptions and no one in reception really have any comments on it.
I later told a friend about it and was told I was too harsh on the kid and shouldn’t have made them cry. That I could’ve approached it more delicately. I don’t think I did anything wrong because I was protecting my cat because a lot of kids don’t know how to handle and treat animals in my experience.
I don’t know, am I the asshole here?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA. The way this is written is so overdramatic and I highly doubt it happened the way you say it did. Even if it did, there was no need to yell at this moment. Get a grip.
NTA. Perfectly handled. Sounds like the mother is more to blame than the child excited about the cat.
ESH. You should have had your cat in the carrier to protect it. Mom should have had control of her kid. Likely this will be a good lesson for them and they’re lucky the only thing hurt was feelings.
I agree that the child should be taught how to approach animals respectfully but they were only 5. Sometimes their excitement over rides common sense and you could have approached it a lot more calmly and explained to the child that it’s not a good idea. Most 5 year olds are happy to listen when you explain properly.
>I don’t think I did anything wrong because I was protecting my cat because a lot of kids don’t know how to handle and treat animals in my experience.
A lot of young children don’t expect to be yelled at by a total stranger.
>Without thinking, I yell out: “DON’T TOUCH HER!”
This is correct – you didn’t think before yelling. Since your cat was already back in their carrier, all you had to do was prevent the kid from reaching into the carrier. Yelling at them was wholly unnecessary.
YTA.
ps> Yes, I’ve had pets (both dogs and cats), and I’ve dealt with such situations many times…
YTA and so is your large language model.
No…
NTA kids need to learn boundaries with strangers and strange animals.
you absolutely did the right thing. no discussion about it.
she needs to have her kid under control and teach it, to not touch animals without the owners permission. and also not to run and scream at animals.
NTA at all.
NTA for yelling, you did what you had to in the moment to protect your cat. The kid could’ve hurt your cat or gotten scratched and caused all sorts of issues. That being said, your cat should have been in the carrier or on a harness. This wasn’t an environment you could control, and if she had bolted out of your arms instead of into the carrier she could’ve gotten hurt.
NTA.
The kid may have learned a valuable lesson from you that it wasn’t going to get from it’s mother.
My dog is very nervous and yet people always try to pet her. We covered her in warning labels for walks. Still people try to pet her. The signs are not for their protection, but our dog’s.
NTA
You might have prevented the kid to get bitten (not by patches but later in life) and the mother does need to teach her child this.
Was the yelling nice? No. But for me to say AH this must have been intentional. You were spooked and under Stress plus the child still tried to Touch your cat. The child cried to cope with this Stress, you got louder than necessary.
It takes a Village to raise a child, but not everyone in this village has to be a positive influence.
Just for the future: this time all went well but safe yourself the Stress and put Patches back as soon as you get up. Once you stand and have your back to the door, you can’t react as quickly anymore. This little shock should be a lesson for the child and a reminder for you to carry her for the last short distance in her carrier.
Tell Patches I said hi. 💚
NTA
The mother should have made sure the child stays with her.
ESH. You should have been more mindful with how you spoke to the kid, as her behaviour didn’t warrant you yelling at her without at least asking her nicely to leave your cat alone first. But her mom should not have let her run around and bother other people and pets.
NTA, it’s a vet’s office, not a petting zoo. Animals act unpredictably under stress and vet visits are often stressful for them. Not even getting into the kind of assumptions that the mom is making – are you and your cat both OK with the cat being pet, is the cat in a condition to be pet, is it safe for others to try to pet the cat, etc. The fact that the kid continued even when your cat showed signs of fear is a red flag. You did what you had to do to protect your cat, I would’ve done the same.
If the child can’t keep their hands to themselves, and the mom can’t be bothered, maybe they should just wait in the car for short errands like this. Kids are gonna be kids but the parents have to be sensible and responsible.
ESH
The kid was obviously used to doing whatever they wanted, the mom obviously sucks overall in this situation, but yelling at the little kid was definitely an overreaction. The kid hadn’t even actually touched your cat, you could have just sternly told him no and blocked him is he kept trying. Yelling is very rarely more effective than just speaking and pretty much universally makes you look like an asshole with close range use.
ESH, you shouldn’t have shouted, that could also just as easily aggravate your cat. You could have put your hand out to block the kid’s path (not touching them) and calmly said “Please don’t touch her.”
Obviously the mom should have been more aware of the situation and taught her kid to not rush animals and touch them.
As a mother with a toddler, I know first had how quickly a child can run off, get into something and how literally 20 seconds can turn into something quickly. I also have 2 dogs myself and have had my dogs for over 7 years. I was a fur momma before a mom.
Do I think you overreacted, yes. Your response was in my opinion without thinking, the same as the little girl. Impulse control is very difficult for a 5 year old. Mom was probably 1000% sure her daughter was right next to her.
Your overreaction caused a chain reaction and truth be told you should have had your cat in the carrier.
The same thing could have happened to anyone with another animal or child.
You as a responsible pet owner are responsible for your cat’s safety. Your cat should have never been out of the carrier because you cannot control other peoples or other animals actions.
Do I think you’re an asshole? Absolute not. Please take this situation as a learning experience, and understand that from here on out, your cat should always be in the carrier when in public. If you do not want anyone touching her.
As a parent, NTA. Letting your kid run up to strangers or animals like that is a recipe for disaster. 1) it’s impolite and 2) she has no idea how an animal will react.
Bet she would have gone ballistic if her child was bitten or scratched. Imagine if this had been a dog instead of a cat and the dog attacked the child for startling it.
This is just common sense as a parent to teach your kids appropriate behavior and to keep control of your kids in public for their own safety.
As for the yelling, could it have been better to not yell, sure but also you were flustered and trying to keep the kid away without touching them. Better to yell and be the bad guy than risk getting the police called on you for grabbing the kid’s hand to stop them.
Honestly NTA. That was super dangerous, what if she had run towards the wrong dog and got bitten?
It’s harsh but this was a natural consequence. You cannot run up to unknown animals. Tough lesson to learn, but important. You didn’t harm the child and mom should not be allowing her child to run to unknown animals.
NTA.
Children are pretty savage to pets unless they’re properly trained. How worse would it have been if your cat had scratched/bitten the kid? You’d probably be looking at legal action against you.
NTA. Your not wrong in telling the kid not to touch the cat. Just tone could have been a little nicer. But I get it
NTA. Both of you had a duty to keep your dependent safe. If the cat would have tried to pounce her kid would she have been expected to politely explain to the cat that her child wasnt prey? No she would have had a fit. You did the right thing AND hopefully taught the kid a lesson on how to act. Your cat is lucky to have you as a parent.
YTA
Massive, MASSIVE overreaction.
Jesus, you need to get your anxieties in check. Have you ever thought that maybe the reason patches is so scared of strangers is because every time one of them tries to touch him his owner SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS at them, even when he’s already in his own carrier?
The CHILD got excited and wanted to pet the cat. You act like he was running over to stomp on him. Besides the cat was already inside his carrier. A polite “Please don’t touch him” would’ve sufficed.
Indeed, you are protecting your cat. However, the mom was protecting her child from a crazy woman who thinks screaming at a child is an appropriate fear response, which I’m sure doesn’t feed her cat’s anxieties at all.
Both you and the kid made a poor, impulsive decision at the vet office. The kid is five years old. What’s your excuse?
NTA. Regardless of where you are, petting someone else’s pet without asking is shitty but I feel like the vet is an even worse place for this type of behavior. because an animal in pain is far more likely to bite or scratch and you never know what kind of disease the pet could be there for. The mom is stupid and is putting her kid in danger
YTA, you screamed at a pre-schooler* that didn’t know any better. Why not scream at the mother or even try to explain or apologize to the child after the fact? They genuinely did not know why you did that, and neither do I with the description/backstory given.
> was told I was too harsh on the kid and shouldn’t have made them cry
Well you didn’t intentionally make them cry. Yelling is not great if you could be sure they would listen to a calm refusal, but definitely better than being bitten or scratched in self-defense, and arguably better than the cat being traumatized even if they didn’t hurt the kid. And presumably you were also startled.
NTA.
NTA
The fact that the mom doesn’t want to raise her kid to be a civil human being does not make you an asshole. It does make her one.
NTA, but you could have gone about it more gently
NTA
YTA, u spazzed at a child get over yourself
NTA. My 2 year old knows not to run up on any animal, let alone one he isn’t familiar with. She didn’t raise her child properly when it comes to animals and that’s her own fault
NTA. Here’s the thing: cat bites can be nasty. I know someone who was in the hospital for days because a cat bite turned septic. And who is that mom going to come after for the medical bills if it gets infected? You.
Yes, you could have been kinder, but kids that age just don’t always listen, especially not when they’re distracted by something cute and fluffy. If you scared her so much that next time she doesn’t make a run for the cat, win/win – she doesn’t get bitten, the cat doesn’t get bothered, and no one has to pay for puncture wound treatment.
NTA. Kids need to learn to keep their hands to themselves. Better to be yelled at than bitten. Cat bites can be super dangerous and require antibiotics. Mom should have thanked you.
ESH – none of the adults acted correctly here
NTA. People don’t teach their kids how to interact with animals. That mother has no idea what’s wrong with your cat or why you were there. I’m so sick of everyone making excuses for poorly behaved children.
Way too many over-sensitive moms in here imagining someone daring to yell at their perfect little angel. Kids need to be taught lessons, and mom wasn’t doing her job. NTA.
NTA
That woman is exactly why that child is mentally challenged. As GenX I’d have screamed at the parent at the same time. Millennial and later parents don’t train their children shit, and when we have no choice but to screech they realize their own failure and try (and fail) to deflect.
LADY GET THIS STUPID KID AWAY FROM MY CAT THIS IS NOT A PETTING ZOO
If a child is that untrained they should keep the child on a leash or at home.
NTA you protected the kid from physical harm
“All of a sudden, the door swings open”? As in, you had your cat loose in the vet waiting room with a door to outside and someone came in? I mean, yeah, people are gonna do that, it’s a waiting room! I’d say ESH.
YTA
NTA. I understand yelling is a knee jerk reaction but that type of reaction is also necessary to protect the kid and your cat the way the situation is described. Also, firmly believe more strangers need to yell at kids that are clearly not well behaved, if their parents won’t someone should to correct poor behavior. Asking permission to pets someone’s else cat absolutely should be known by 5, that or they’ve never met a stranger’s pet in their life.
I wouldn’t call you an asshole, but I think you could have handled it better. Yelling at a child is never the answer. I could understand if you raised your voice in a moment of concern to protect the child from being scratched. But if you’re being “protective” of a toddler touching your animal, that sounds pretty rash. Don’t remove the cat from the carrier in public. If you must, have a special harness on them that’s labeled “do not touch”. Now obviously a toddler couldn’t read that, but the mother would see that in the aftermath and would understand that you may have raised your voice out of protection of the child getting hurt.
ESH. The mom should teach her child boundaries and keep her under control, but you definitely overreacted by yelling at the kid.
If you wanted the kid to understand how to treat animals, all you had to say was “sorry my cat is nervous and does not want to be touched”. That would’ve been much more beneficial to the child and the overall situation than just yelling at her.
NTA. Your yell seems to have been a panicked reaction and not because you’re this evil hag that hates kids, as a lot of posters seem to think. The child will live.
Of the child is old enough to run over, talk and want to pet a stranger’s pet, they’re old enough to either 1- be taught by their parents not to do that or 2- be taught by the rest of the world how to act right.
YTA, sorry. If you don’t want people to touch her you shouldn’t have her out of the carrier. Your cat will survive a couple hours without pets and you can always give her special attention when you get home.
NTA it’s not your job to parent other people’s kids. If they don’t like your reaction to them running up to pet your cat without permission, they should have a better handle on their child and/or teach them not to approach strange people and animals.
YTA. I hope your cat is your only child.
NTA you did nothing wrong, if mom doesn’t like the idea of someone screaming at her kid then maybe she should watch her kid or AT LEAST teach kid that if they see pet come calmly to owner and politely ask is they can pet it. Also teach kid that always answer can be „no” . If she can’t teach that to kid then just watch the kid. So many parents can’t understand that yeah kid can act not in a proper way but it is their job to teach kid what to do and what not to do, Watch them and correct their behavior and „it’s just a kid won’t work”
ESH but you only suck because I feel like having your cat out of the carrier while in a public place will eventually lead to some sort of issue where a kid/dog coming for your cat isn’t noticed in time. Maybe just keep her in her carrier at the vet.
NTA. Sure maybe you might have been a bit harsher than was absolutely necessary. Kids cry all the damn time over stuff like this and quickly move on, the mom is the true asshole in this situation.
ESH. The kid can deal with getting yelled at, it was a good lesson. The mom should have apologized for not controlling her kid.
You shouldn’t have had your cat out of its carrier in the waiting room. This is exactly the reason why – poorly controlled kids and dogs can come in at any moment.
NTA. You did more parenting than the mom.
NTA!! If your cat scratched or bit him, they could have your cat put down. Oh hell no.
Control your frigging kids and if you cant, welp, this shit is gonna happen.
ESH. Could’ve just told the kid normally. All yelling does is make them cry and raise your cortisol
Animals aren’t here for our entertainment. Good job protecting your cat. NTA.
NTA. Mom should’ve thanked you for parenting her kid while she wasn’t.
NTA at all, everybody needs to learn not to touch other people’s animals without permission, including and especially small children
Yelling was out of line. You could have just said the cat was sick. ESH. But then I might of said …. Sorry sure pet the cat, oh those are just ringworms, pay no attention she won’t catch it.
NTA. You’re at a vet’s office, not a petting zoo. Mom doesn’t know if the cat is sick, injured, or why you’re even there.
Nobody should be running up to animals at the vet and getting in their space. The animals are already stressed. They don’t need stranger danger in top of it.
You didn’t have to scream.
NTA
Your cat has trauma with children. The kid was going to get scratched or bit if you didn’t warn them.
Additionally, if you didn’t warn the child, you can bet anything that the woman would have been angry at you for allowing the cat to defend itself.
The woman is entitled and is raising an entitled child
NTA one of the greatest gifts my husband and I have given our six year old is how to approach animals. That starts with asking their human if they can be pet and accepting the answer
This has nothing to do with a pet. This is about children being taught ZERO impulse control.
Sort of yta.
You’re at the vet. The kid comes over and kids get excited, so they were running. I don’t know why you couldn’t have said it calmly.
the cat was already in the carrier.