I was out with my sister, her friend and her friend’s brother at food chain thing and everything was chill from my perspective. My sister wanted to get french fries but she insisted that I go get it for her. She often makes me do her work or even if she can do it herself just doesn’t want to and I’ve often seen her get frustrated if I sometimes refuse. I made a joke about letting her be an independent woman and told her to get it herself. I only came cause she can’t drive and she wanted to meet her friend so I didn’t feel obligated to go and order for her. Within a few seconds the entire mood of the table had gone dull and her friend and the brother were looking at me like I was crazy. I told my sister that if she wants to eat then she should go get it. I suggested her friend they should go and have a look around. I even offered to pay but she just middle finger’d me in front of everyone. After that, the next 15 mins were filled with silence. I tried to converse but got no replies. The plan was to chill till 12am but we left after she got a pastry. She said,”It’s my fault that I forced everyone to get together” and we went home. What should I do?
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I was out with my sister, her friend and her friend’s brother at food chain thing and everything was chill from my perspective. My sister wanted to get french fries but she insisted that I go get it for her. She often makes me do her work or even if she can do it herself just doesn’t want to and I’ve often seen her get frustrated if I sometimes refuse. I made a joke about letting her be an independent woman and told her to get it herself. I only came cause she can’t drive and she wanted to meet her friend so I didn’t feel obligated to go and order for her. Within a few seconds the entire mood of the table had gone dull and her friend and the brother were looking at me like I was crazy. I told my sister that if she wants to eat then she should go get it. I suggested her friend they should go and have a look around. I even offered to pay but she just middle finger’d me in front of everyone. After that, the next 15 mins were filled with silence. I tried to converse but got no replies. The plan was to chill till 12am but we left after she got a pastry. She said,”It’s my fault that I forced everyone to get together” and we went home. What should I do?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Ok so I told my sister to go and order her food herself and I think she got offended cause I refused to do it for her and asked her to work for what she wants in front of everyone. I think she believes that I did it because I mentioned earlier that I didn’t want to go with her cause I didn’t want to drive and did this to get back at her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Why even take her or her friends (especially since they CAN’T drive). Seems like you were their chauffeur and maid and slave. Seems her friends are under her spell as well. You need to find healthier ways to spend your time then with a crew of ingrates.
You should stop driving her places, that’s what you should do. NTA.
NTA. How old is your sister? 12? Only a child acts like that. Even my 12 year old is better than that. You’re not her slave. Tell her to grow up.
NTA, but stop offering to do someone favors that isn’t grateful for them. She’s taking advantage of you and trying to make you feel bad about it.
NAH. Almost feels like there was something else going on and it had nothing to do with teh food and she just wanted you to step away for who knows why
NTA
Do NOT do her the favor of driving her around again. If she can’t drive, then she needs to keep her finger and her controlling demands to herself.
PLEASE do not drive her around or do other favors for her. You don’t give ages, but you need to separate yourself from her.
Your sister is more than entitled; she is a controlling, toxic bully. You seem to be doing your best to accommodate her and are under-reacting to her treatment of you. I’m guessing it will be hard for you to ignore her being upset, to realize that YOU are not the reason she acts so badly (she is) and you are not responsible for her wants, her moods, or her tantrums.
Put some distance between you and her so that you can see things more clearly.
Stop driving her anywhere. Unless her name is Miss Daisy, you are being used.
Info: What do you think was the friend and her brother’s problem with that answer?
Why would you think that you did something wrong? NTA
Need information: how old is she and does she have anxiety? I could not handle ordering for myself until I left for college and was forced to adult. It is still hard and I’m almost 52.
And that would be the specific moment that I get up get in my car and leave
You literally did her a favor by driving her there?!? Even though you’re not obligated to. You could have been doing anything else even if it’s just resting or chilling on your bed. She has a lot of nerve! Same with her friend and brother?!? Wtf if she is going to be that entitled then she can walk home. ESPECIALLY since you took time out of your day to drive her! The entitlement is CRAZY!
NTA. if she’s old enough to give you the finger she’s old enough to get her own fries and to get herself to wherever she wants to go.
NTA.. I’d refuse to drive sister anywhere after that and the seemingly long line of BS that she tries to put you through. Stand up for yourself and stop putting yourself in that position. She isn’t going to change and you will always be treated as the bad guy if you go about it this way even though you’d be right.
NTA. I understand wanting to give rides for people who don’t drive, but if she is going to keep overstepping like that by asking you to do things that she can do herself, refuse to drive her.
Don’t drive this woman around ever again. You would be an asshole if you ever drive her anywhere again.
It sounds like she’s extremely f***king lazy, but she’s going to have to walk, take the bus, or pay for an Uber like everyone else in the world who doesn’t have a car.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Unless she unexpectedly broke both her legs, she should have gotten her own food. You are not her servant.
NTA. But why should you do anything? She’s right, it was her fault. Leave it at that. And keep being whatever is the opposite of a pushover.
NTA she’s being a lazy cow and can get it herself.
What should you do? Well, if she was my sister I’d ask her if she had a piano tied to her ass and since she doesn’t, I’d tell her to go get her own bloody fries! As we used to say in my family “Who was your servant last year?”
You must stick up for yourself because nobody else is going to. Good luck.
NTA, though the “independent woman” thing may have been unnecessary. I would not give her or her friends rides anymore. They should have been getting you something to eat.
NTA but I can see why it would have looked funny to someone who didn’t know the backstory.
Stop offering her rides.
NTA. Stop driving her around and hanging out with her. Surely you have your own friends who like you, no need to spend time with her if she isn’t going to appreciate you.
I’m going ESH
Yeah, her anxiety disorder is no excuse for her being rude about you not ordering for her, but there was also no reason for you to make a joke that’s constantly used to mock women who want equal rights.
Whether or not you are, telling her ‘Come on, you’re a strong independent woman, I know you can do it yourself. You don’t need a man’ comes across as misogynistic.
You also sound like you’re dismissing her anxiety disorder and acting as if her request was made just because she’s a woman. Both dismissing someone you’re supposed to care for, and insulting a group of people. That’s why nobody else stood up for you
NTA. Is it that she can’t drive or just won’t? Is it that she can’t order for herself or just won’t? Those answers are key. If she can’t, that’s one thing but if she’s just lazy and wants everything done for her (like you’re her personal servant and driver) then stop indulging her.
NTA. She needs to get a life and you need to continue to let her find a life. you are not wrong and don’t let others tell you otherwise. She ruined the mood by not getting up and getting her food, you aren’t her servant.
What do you mean what should you do? Stop hanging out with your sister, she fucking sucks. ESH. Stand up for yourself.
NTA- you should have made your sister and her attitude walk home.
NTA. You should ignore your numpty of a sister. Don’t drive her places either like others have said.
INFO: How old are you and the other people involved?
You’ve been asked multiple times and refused to answer…which does not look good for you.
Stop going out with her as a favor. Stop doing favors for her at all. All you’re doing is enabling her by driving her still.
OP digs sister’s friend?
NTA
You should’ve just left when she flipped you off.
If there was no other way than with you for her to get home, you should’ve told her you’re leaving NOW and if she isn’t in the car within 5 minutes she can figure out how to get home herseld.
Stop giving your sister rides to places. It is very simple. Set Boundaries. I am not your slave. Get your ass up and order your own food, or you will never get another ride from me. If it had been my younger sibling, that diatribe would have included many four lettered words, and suggestions of where that middle finger would do her the most good. And then I probably would have gone and ordered food for myself with a big cat eating canary grin on my face.
NTA. Time to stop being her taxi service.
I would’ve drove off in my car and left her ass there.