We (me, 49m and my fiancé 48f) are currently on day 6 of our vacationing on Kauai HI, actually getting married on a beach tomorrow! Anyhow, I was sitting out on our balcony about 30 minutes ago, 10:15 pm local time, and saw an Asian couple walking down the path towards our building and watched as they went up to the 3rd floor, directly above us.
15 minutes later, the wife (I assume) comes down and knocks on the door which I answered… she goes on to explain that they just moved suites because the floor was shaking in their last room which made it impossible for them to sleep. She explained that it’s the ceiling fan as the beds are directly above the lower floors sleeping fan. She asked us to please turn the ceiling fan off and just use the AC.
We’re on the middle floor. Yes, if I put my hand on the floor, I can feel a very slight vibration from the suite below us, but it is so faint that it’s barely noticeable, honestly.
I explained to her that it’s almost 80 degrees outside and the AC in our suite doesn’t cool it down much, so I’d prefer to keep my fan on, but then my fiancé comes over to the door having overheard me and assured her it would be fine and she shut the fan off.
It’s not even 15 minutes later and I’m sitting here fuming. Who the hell would come down and tell you they want you to turn off your ceiling fan so THEY can be more comfortable? I mean, seriously, I’m quite pissed about this. To me, it seems like that would take a hell of a lot of nerve to do. We have had our fan on all 6 nights and have slept comfortably and now it feels warm and stuffy in here. My soon to be spouse thinks I’m being a bit of an asshole about it and should just let it go, I 100% disagree.
Which of us is right here?
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We (me, 49m and my fiancé 48f) are currently on day 6 of our vacationing on Kauai HI, actually getting married on a beach tomorrow! Anyhow, I was sitting out on our balcony about 30 minutes ago, 10:15 pm local time, and saw an Asian couple walking down the path towards our building and watched as they went up to the 3rd floor, directly above us.
15 minutes later, the wife (I assume) comes down and knocks on the door which I answered… she goes on to explain that they just moved suites because the floor was shaking in their last room which made it impossible for them to sleep. She explained that it’s the ceiling fan as the beds are directly above the lower floors sleeping fan. She asked us to please turn the ceiling fan off and just use the AC.
We’re on the middle floor. Yes, if I put my hand on the floor, I can feel a very slight vibration from the suite below us, but it is so faint that it’s barely noticeable, honestly.
I explained to her that it’s almost 80 degrees outside and the AC in our suite doesn’t cool it down much, so I’d prefer to keep my fan on, but then my fiancé comes over to the door having overheard me and assured her it would be fine and she shut the fan off.
It’s not even 15 minutes later and I’m sitting here fuming. Who the hell would come down and tell you they want you to turn off your ceiling fan so THEY can be more comfortable? I mean, seriously, I’m quite pissed about this. To me, it seems like that would take a hell of a lot of nerve to do. We have had our fan on all 6 nights and have slept comfortably and now it feels warm and stuffy in here. My soon to be spouse thinks I’m being a bit of an asshole about it and should just let it go, I 100% disagree.
Which of us is right here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action was me getting quite upset that someone would ask me to turn off the ceiling fan. Being upset over having to turn it off is what makes me think that I might be the asshole. My fiance confirming that I’m acting a bit like an asshole for being upset over something she considers trivial also makes me wonder if she’s right.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
You going to call the property manager tomorrow and tell them the fan in your place is so out of balance that the next tenant up is feeling vibrations?
ATA.
you’re being loud and inconsiderate… please take a moment to reflect on your behavior.
1.NTA 2. Turn your fan back on fuck em
Why is your fiancée (fiancé is masculine) making unilateral decisions sacrificing your comfort for that of strangers? I don’t think vibrations are worse than excess heat if we’re not talking a jackhammer level, so it’s NTA to me and I think you need to talk to her. I don’t think it’s AH for the neighbors to ask to turn the fan off though, if they’re significantly uncomfortable and you’re not necessarily needing the fan all that much with the AC. As long as it’s a polite request and they are ready to back off if you say no.
Why’re you so upset they came to ask a question that you’re free to say no to? Your issue is with your fiancée. However, is this the hill you want to sit on/die on the night before your wedding? I hope tomorrow is a better day.
NTA for not wanting to turn off the fan however it doesn’t seem like the other couple is in the wrong here either.
Have your fiance ask the hotel if they can have a stand fan brought to your room.
NTA this is fully a Her problem. The audacity of them to ask you to turn it off, honestly.
ESH Book a better hotel. One that has actual air conditioning.
This is how you want your future to be? You have a fiancee problem, if the comfort and approval of strangers means more to her than yours.
NTA
NAH
I say NAH because neither you nor the Asian wife was an asshole (it’s fine for her to take a chance and ask, it’s also fine for you to say no); your fiancee was kind of an asshole for just saying “Yes” without consulting you.
Best solution here seems to be the Asian couple ask the hotel to be moved to the ground floor.
INFO: You are both in an unfamiliar place, about to get married, and likely under more stress than you quite realize.
So… Is this a one off kinda thing, or is there a pattern of her wanting to make others happy/avoid conflict even at your or her expense?
If it is a little out of character, shake it off. Discuss it at a time you are both more relaxed and comfortable.
If it is a pattern, then you’ve got a harder question before you.
(It can absolutely be both as well, with the stress just exacerbating her natural tendencies to ‘be nice and get along’. Then your question is more like “has this been a problem before and you’ve just ignored it, or let it go?”)
Why does race need mentioning here?