I’m in a university group project and I’m feeling frustrated with a classmate. I did most of the work: I found the slides, created the document, distributed the topics, and made sure everything was organized.
My classmate has done practically nothing so far, and when I asked her to have her part ready at least a day before the presentation (so we can study and maintain coherence in the presentation), she got offended and started sending me very long messages as if I were attacking her, saying that her way of working and her time should be respected (basically leaving everything until the last minute), while she doesn’t seem to respect other people’s time.
I feel like I’m being reasonable: I’m not demanding perfection, I just want her to complete her part on time so that the presentation goes well. Also, if I’m going to explain a slide that isn’t mine, I need to know the content she contributed, because it’s the professor who assigns the order of the presentation and who explains each slide. This means I could do all the work myself to avoid this, but I refuse to do someone else’s work when they contribute almost nothing, since, after all, this is a group project.
Now she’s giving me signs that she feels attacked, and I’m getting fed up. Am I overreacting for asking something so basic in a group project?
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I’m in a university group project and I’m feeling frustrated with a classmate. I did most of the work: I found the slides, created the document, distributed the topics, and made sure everything was organized.
My classmate has done practically nothing so far, and when I asked her to have her part ready at least a day before the presentation (so we can study and maintain coherence in the presentation), she got offended and started sending me very long messages as if I were attacking her, saying that her way of working and her time should be respected (basically leaving everything until the last minute), while she doesn’t seem to respect other people’s time.
I feel like I’m being reasonable: I’m not demanding perfection, I just want her to complete her part on time so that the presentation goes well. Also, if I’m going to explain a slide that isn’t mine, I need to know the content she contributed, because it’s the professor who assigns the order of the presentation and who explains each slide. This means I could do all the work myself to avoid this, but I refuse to do someone else’s work when they contribute almost nothing, since, after all, this is a group project.
Now she’s giving me signs that she feels attacked, and I’m getting fed up. Am I overreacting for asking something so basic in a group project?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I set a “deadline” for my classmate to complete her part of the group project. I understand that some people prefer to work at their own pace, so she could see my request as pressuring her or not respecting her way of working. I can see why someone might think I overreacted by insisting on having her part ready before the presentation, even though I was just trying to ensure the group project runs smoothly. I also want to know if I really did overreact, as she claims.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Do her part just incase- on the side without her in a place she doesnt have access to. If she doesnt have anything day of- present your part and her part and let your professor know she refused to do any work.
NTA
Why do they assign group projects!!!
Can you email your professor the day before and say that she hasn’t done any work and you’d like to present alone?
NTA. She´s obviously counting on you to do the whole project alone.
NTA, part of the experience of groupwork is that everyone needs to be an adult and cooperate. Clearly you’re working with a child.
NTA – She needs to step it up. Out of college and in the workforce, there will be projects that need to be completed, and you can’t say you are being attacked when the team is asking for your below bare minimum and you still aren’t performing. I would reach out to the instructor and let them know of the situation, and get clarification of how they prefer you to move forward. Some tell you to figure it out on your own, while others prefer to reach out to the teammates and tell them to step it up. Sadly, I have had this happen to me far too often in group projects. Hopefully it gets sorted, but you are 100% NTA.
YTA – you don’t know if she would have done it on time. Now she is stressed, not just because of the group project, but also because of the mood in your group.
I think this needs more context. Some people are actually quite busy and can’t start every project weeks before. It also depends on the person what “last minute” means. Your “last minute” can be “plenty of time” for somebody else. Have you tried to communicate the schedules before?
It is possible that, depending on how your message was worded, she feels like you’ve already labeled her as lazy. Maybe she had a plan for it.
So I don’t know who is an asshole until I get more context.
NTA and to add to other peoples advice. I agree with doing the entire project yourself and making sure you dont tell her and ensure she doesnt have access to the extra stuff you are doing. But I would also let your professor know, NOW and not during/just before presenting.
Email your professor so they are aware of the issue, as it is either way unacceptable even if she does her part in the end.
Because she should not add to your stress in this way.
NTA. She will have real issues entering the workforce with that attitude. No one will care about her way of working being respected if she doesn’t deliver work on time for it to be reviewed or integrated with other work. She is not the center of the project, your task is.
The next project is for the second term, in 5 weeks, and I’m going to send the document right now to see what excuse she comes up with this time (maybe a bit petty, but it bothers me that she’s still making excuses instead of just doing the work — with those paragraphs she wrote to me, she could’ve done her part of the project ten times already). 🙂
I hated group work at university. The experience certainly didn’t help me when I started working, either.
You are NTA, and not being unreasonable. In a group project, no one should be doing things at the last minute – there’s usually a need for the group to go over everything before the presentation.
The only solutions I see would be to go the the teacher to have her removed from the group due to not doing the work (which is a kind of nuclear solution, and the teacher might try to insist you work it out), or to work around her so at least you’ll have the information you need before she does it – or in case she doesn’t do it.
She’s completely wrong. When working in a group, the group has to be organized and have deadlines which may or may not be ideal for all members. They need to cooperate and compromise.
Complete her portion (just in case) then talk to your professor if she doesn’t come thru. Let him know she did zero work for the project and don’t partner with her again.
Your partner is the epitome of entitled Zoomer nonsense. NTA
NTA. I was this last minute person, because I had untreated ADD and generally lacked any structure or discipline as a child, which made planning and working ahead the most tedious thing in the world. University was horrible for me and I always felt like a failure, which also led to more procrastination, etc. The only way I was able to get things was done, was if there was high last minute pressure. It’s a miracle I was able to finish my studies at all (and the problem went away when I started an actual job that offered structure). So I don’t think she’s doing this out of laziness, but simply because she is mentally incapable to do it any other way.
However, she is wrong for turning this around on you and guilt tripping you. Even at my worst I would have never done that. It was my problem to deal with, not my team’s.
Once more for the teachers in the back: group projects sound great on paper but don’t work irl. NTA
Go to the professor. Tell the professor the situation including that you have tried to resolve it. At this point, you would like this classmate’s name removed from the project.
NTA
Go to your teacher and let them know about the issues before the due date.