So I have this uni Assessment, its due in two days and I was almost done with it I just needed to make some quick edits and adjustments.
My dad however was really adamant about him helping me with it, I declined because I wanted to do it myself and my uni is also pretty strict about academic integrity and it scared me a little. But he helped anyways
He got really angry and pissy while he was trying to help me, saying that I had 6 weeks and my assessment was shit and unfinished, he said he wouldn’t go to sleep, Its common when he tries to help me with study. He said he wouldn’t sleep until we finished the assessment and I started getting tired of it so during a break I submitted the unfinished assessment early, my plan was to work on it again tomorrow to finish it off. As the Uni allows resubmission of an assessment before the due date, that way my dad could go to sleep and I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.
I told him and he incredibly loud and angry, then he tried taking my computer away and phone away and the yelling got rlly bad that my mom who was sleeping came out and it got heated, i tried recording what was happening but they caught me and my mom got really upset about it.
I refuse to accept that I did anything wrong and this is such a stupid unneeded fight.
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So I have this uni Assessment, its due in two days and I was almost done with it I just needed to make some quick edits and adjustments.
My dad however was really adamant about him helping me with it, I declined because I wanted to do it myself and my uni is also pretty strict about academic integrity and it scared me a little. But he helped anyways
He got really angry and pissy while he was trying to help me, saying that I had 6 weeks and my assessment was shit and unfinished, he said he wouldn’t go to sleep, Its common when he tries to help me with study. He said he wouldn’t sleep until we finished the assessment and I started getting tired of it so during a break I submitted the unfinished assessment early, my plan was to work on it again tomorrow to finish it off. As the Uni allows resubmission of an assessment before the due date, that way my dad could go to sleep and I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.
I told him and he incredibly loud and angry, then he tried taking my computer away and phone away and the yelling got rlly bad that my mom who was sleeping came out and it got heated, i tried recording what was happening but they caught me and my mom got really upset about it.
I refuse to accept that I did anything wrong and this is such a stupid unneeded fight.
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> me submitting my assessment early it the action that should be judged
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA You’re a grown ass adult and your dad is seriously overstepping. If you can, maybe find a roommate and MOVE TF OUT.
NTA. It’s your work, your grade, and your responsibility. You set a boundary, he ignored it, then blew up when you didn’t let him take over. Submitting early just to deescalate was smart. The fight wasn’t about your assessment, it was about him trying to control it.
MOVE OUT, please! NTA. Your dad your dad is SERIOUSLY overstepping here.
NTA. Submitting your own work early is fine. Your dad’s behavior is ridiculous, he made it about his ego, not your education.
I agree with others. Your father is way too controlling and you need to get away.
He has a serious problem and it is nothing to do with you.
There are some things he may be entitled to insist on his home, but your university work is NOT one of them. Well done for wanting to stick to the integrity required.
Please talk to support staff at your university and get advice.
Gather all documents, especially bank details in case you need a quick escape.
NTA
NTA In the end it’s your assignment. It’s incredibly weird that he’s so involved in your schooling at this age. Setting boundaries is good and you are trying to do that. Can you maybe not talk about your assignments or get housing on campus?
INFO: How is it that you’re in university and still writing as though you’re about halfway through primary school? “Anyways” isn’t a word, and a sentence gets punctuation at the end, and comma-splices are bad, and we put a comma after each item in a list, etc.
NTA your dad is being controlling. I get that he is trying to help but you did not ask for it.
You are an adult and capable of doing your own work. You should have clear boundaries with them, if they refuse you should distance yourself from this.
NTA – you’re a grown ass adult, not a child who needs every minute of their day micromanaged. Take control of your own fate and move out of that hellscape of a house.
NTA You are in college, not first grade. Your parents shouldn’t be helping with or checking your homework, much less throwing tantrums. Limit your parents’ information about your schooling as much as possible. If you can, study on campus, in study groups with classmates, any where other than home. Give vague answers to them. For your own sake, back up all your computer files in the Cloud so you still have your work if dad takes or damages your laptop. Is it possible to move out? Start making a plan. I was in a similar situation. My parents wouldn’t allow me to consider any Uni except the one in our town, I was required to live at home, it was awful. I had to come straight home from class, they’d yell and blame me if they didn’t like my schedule (a class that ended at 5 pm was too late and my fault, and when I got home at 5:30 they would scream about me being late), interrupting my homework time, etc. The stress affected my health. I was able to qualify for a university apartment with a classmate. They were stunned that the Uni allowed me to move without their permission. I moved out anyhow. It was scary and stressful and exhilarating and the best decision I ever made. You will get through this, you will find a way out, and once you do you will feel so much better, I promise.
NTA for your question. YTA to yourself. You need to stop catering to him. And yes submitting early is catering. I know people who were expelled because their parents insisted on “helping” them. Academic integrity issues are very serious. The university won’t care that he’s your dad or his anxiety or anything else. They’ll care that you submitted the work under your name only but you didn’t do all of the work. You need to stick to your boundaries until you’re able to move out. “Dad this is mine to manage. I’m not risking expulsion so you don’t get to help.”. Maybe spend more time at university working there rather than at home.
NTA.
I cannot stress this enough – do whatever you can to get out of there. Literally anything.
You are an adult in university and your father is verbally abusing you and trying to take your computer and phone? And borderline sleep depriving you because he’s determined not to? Honestly, he needs some kind of help, because that isn’t typical behaviour.
Talk to your university tomorrow. I’m almost certain that whatever the equivalent of student services in your location is will be able to help find somewhere for you.
NTA
How old are you? Put your foot down more. What he’s doing is very weird and immature.