It was my besties 32M birthday recently. And so for his birthday, we had some food and he wanted to get drunk . He had some beatboxes and then he said he wasn’t feeling well . He went to the bathroom and after a few minutes I went to check on him and he was lying down on the bathroom floor face up . I asked him if he’s ok and he said he’s ok , just drunk . So I went to get him water , came back and handed him water. And after he drank some , he threw up. I saw it and I instantly went to my room. Personally, I just hate seeing throw up. It grosses me out bad and the smell . So yea I went to my room to just let him do that and then check on him again after a while .
When I went to check on him , he was in his room laying down in bed. And I was like Wth? You’re going to bed already ? And he was very upset with me because I left to my room when he was throwing up. I was confused at first like , why do I have to be there watching you throw up? And he said “well you could’ve rubbed my back and comforted me while I was throwing up”.
(Me, personally, I never really cared about anyone comforting me while I threw up . If anything , I feel bad for ppl to watch me throw up. however it is a nice thing to do for when ppl did comfort me during but I just don’t feel bad if nobody did nor do I feel like it’s necessary.)
I explained to him that , well, it wasn’t my instinct to wana stand around and pat his back while he threw up and how seeing puke grosses me out and stuff . And he started bringing up about how he comforted me when I threw up when we were younger and that I made him feel disgusting for running from the bathroom so fast and it’s his birthday, I should’ve tried at least to comfort him on his special day and it just would be a nice thing to do as a friend for his birthday.
I started feeling frustrated because it seemed like he was making it a bigger deal than it needed to be . Thinking back now, Perhaps he was just drunk and being sensitive? I’m not sure but he was moping hard about it and pitying himself sm about it , saying that my reaction made him feel so gross about himself and stuff . Like yea I understand how it would’ve been nice to do but like I said, it wasn’t my instinct to hang around the bathroom while he pukes and rub his back and it was making me feel like I’m a bad friend to not have done so and guilt tripping me when personally , I don’t think it should’ve been a big deal to ruin the rest of the night over .
I tried to apologize and explain a lil more but he was still being very mopey and depressed to the point that it was making the hangout awkward and uncomfortable. I started getting more frustrated about it because he was still stuck about it and we eventually went to bed.
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It was my besties 32M birthday recently. And so for his birthday, we had some food and he wanted to get drunk . He had some beatboxes and then he said he wasn’t feeling well . He went to the bathroom and after a few minutes I went to check on him and he was lying down on the bathroom floor face up . I asked him if he’s ok and he said he’s ok , just drunk . So I went to get him water , came back and handed him water. And after he drank some , he threw up. I saw it and I instantly went to my room. Personally, I just hate seeing throw up. It grosses me out bad and the smell . So yea I went to my room to just let him do that and then check on him again after a while .
When I went to check on him , he was in his room laying down in bed. And I was like Wth? You’re going to bed already ? And he was very upset with me because I left to my room when he was throwing up. I was confused at first like , why do I have to be there watching you throw up? And he said “well you could’ve rubbed my back and comforted me while I was throwing up”.
(Me, personally, I never really cared about anyone comforting me while I threw up . If anything , I feel bad for ppl to watch me throw up. however it is a nice thing to do for when ppl did comfort me during but I just don’t feel bad if nobody did nor do I feel like it’s necessary.)
I explained to him that , well, it wasn’t my instinct to wana stand around and pat his back while he threw up and how seeing puke grosses me out and stuff . And he started bringing up about how he comforted me when I threw up when we were younger and that I made him feel disgusting for running from the bathroom so fast and it’s his birthday, I should’ve tried at least to comfort him on his special day and it just would be a nice thing to do as a friend for his birthday.
I started feeling frustrated because it seemed like he was making it a bigger deal than it needed to be . Thinking back now, Perhaps he was just drunk and being sensitive? I’m not sure but he was moping hard about it and pitying himself sm about it , saying that my reaction made him feel so gross about himself and stuff . Like yea I understand how it would’ve been nice to do but like I said, it wasn’t my instinct to hang around the bathroom while he pukes and rub his back and it was making me feel like I’m a bad friend to not have done so and guilt tripping me when personally , I don’t think it should’ve been a big deal to ruin the rest of the night over .
I tried to apologize and explain a lil more but he was still being very mopey and depressed to the point that it was making the hangout awkward and uncomfortable. I started getting more frustrated about it because he was still stuck about it and we eventually went to bed.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) leaving the bathroom so fast instead of comforting my friend (2) I do feel like an asshole because it was his birthday and maybe I should’ve comforted him for at least one day to put up with it and maybe I’m a bad friend for not having that instinct
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your friend should feel disgusting about himself. He drank until he puked. And from the sound of it, that almost sounded like it was his goal. A 30 something man. There’s nothing wrong with giving someone privacy and space when they’re puking. Some might even call it a courtesy. NTA.
First off yall are too old for beatboxes lol
NTA you checked on them and brought water you are a good friend
NTA.
You’re not his mom or his SO; you are not obligated to rub his back while he throws up. I get wanting comfort when you aren’t feeling well, but it’s ABSOLUTELY ok to not want to be around someone actively barfing. Personally, I want to be left alone – just let me suffer in peace!
I feel like you have boundaries that you are struggling to communicate to your friend regarding vomit. He doesn’t have these issues, and so he doesn’t understand that it’s a boundary for you. You cannot handle vomit. Period. I understand his need for comfort, but unfortunately it’s not something you are able to provide in that particular type of moment. He needs to understand and accept this boundary that you cannot control, and understand that he is the one making himself feel gross as you have no issues with him. You simply can’t handle vomit at all or be around it and that means you cannot be around him if he is vomiting. NTA at all.
NTA. He’s 32. Who really still needs comforted like a baby after they puke at that age? Better yet, who is still getting so sloppy drunk that they can’t handle their alcohol? Dude sounds like a real tool. You did your part as a friend to make sure he was okay, you don’t have to be his mommy too lol.
NTA. He’s a 32 year old man.
NTA 32 is too old to drink until you’re sick anyhow. However, you could have apologized for walking away, instead of telling him how much he grossed your out.
Anyone hearing “Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…”?
NTA boy 30 talm bout some rub my back while i throw up😂😂😂 awh hell nah
That guy can’t handle his liquor at 32 and he claims you’re the asshole? Lol nah. You made sure he was okay and brought water. That’s all you needed to do as a friend. He should be embarrassed for acting that way.
NTA I get nauseous if I even hear someone throwing up nearby in your shoes I would’ve done the exact same thing because if I were to watch my friend throw up I would start throwing up right alongside them
You’re a goddamn grown man, Act like it ! Would have been my response
32?! And he wants you to rub his back while he spews?! That is fucking mental 😆
NTA he’s a 32 year old man omg i would’ve told him to get a grip 😭😭
I’m sorry a 32 year old man wanted you to rub his back and comfort him because he was sick from HIS OWN ACTIONS.
Read that again. He’s being a child. Worse than a child, because a child usually stops eating themself sick after one time, and at age 32 he should know how to deal with his liquor.
What he’s saying is: I get to act like an undisciplined fool and make myself sick and you have to be my hostage and take care of me through it or else I feel alone. Eff that.
NTA
Is 32 a typo, because this is 12 y/o behavior, up to and including the wanting his back rubbed while he spewed, and you wondering if you should have.
NTA
I am a sympathetic puker, so that would have been me just sticking around to also throw up. I have never wanted anyone near me when I was throwing up. I don’t understand why somebody would want another person hanging around touching them while they were vomiting.
Your friend needs to grow up.
NTA. Jesus, a 32 year old just wants to stay home and get drunk on his birthday but wants his friend to rub his back while he pukes. This post just makes me shake my head and be annoyed.
NTA…and get your bestie a trip to rehab for his birthday. 32 and drunk puking?
Why would you want an audience when you are throwing up? You brought him a glass of water , what more does he want?
He’s 32 and THIS was his birthday wish? Please find yourself a new living situation, you room with a self-entitled tool.
lol what the hell is this post? You’re not the asshole but you might both be super lame.
NTA but damn maybe I’m just nice, I’ve defiently been the friend who would hold someones hair back and rub their back when they’re throwing up, without question and have had the same done for me.
I don’t think I would expect it though which I think is the weird part. it’s not a requirement, and if you guys haven’t done it before it ;s a little weird for him to suddenly make it a big deal
NTA. I can’t be around it. I’m a sympathetic puker.
I think you’re both a little weird