I met a old school friend about a year back in my gym, we just talked and everything was fine and then I got to know that he is a doctor, so i asked him whether I could bring my mom to the hospital where he works, for injections which she had to get monthly twice for a year straight, I offered to pay his fee but he said its fine.
Suddenly one day, he asks for Money saying his relative is getting a surgery and needs it, it was about 20k INR and I agreed to give it to him on a condition that he would pay me back within a month, which he did.
Later he asked for 5k INR and this time he is not returning it, its been three months and I have been reaching out to him monthly once, asking if he has money, he said his employer isnt paying him salary and he doesnt have any, but I can see him at my gym, which i quit due to my budget, yet he is still continuing it(may be he paid for a year or so), but then i realised that he is going to a lot of paid events, but whenever i message him, he leaves me on read and doesn’t lift my calls.
I know its a small amount but it still hurts to be played a fool and I am on a tight budget as it is.
So today I lost my cool called him, and I said ‘I am coing to see you.’
I met him and demanded my money back and I wasnt listening to his stories any more.
He paid it but made me feel little, he was like ‘its just 5k whats worng with you.’
I just said thank you and left
But i feel bad and guilty
Just need to hear your thoughts, am i the asshole?
he did help me, so should I have let the 5k slide
Edited to add curreny
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I met a old school friend about a year back in my gym, we just talked and everything was fine and then I got to know that he is a doctor, so i asked him whether I could bring my mom to the hospital where he works, for injections which she had to get monthly twice for a year straight, I offered to pay his fee but he said its fine.
Suddenly one day, he asks for Money saying his relative is getting a surgery and needs it, it was about 20k and I agreed to give it to him on a condition that he would pay me back within a month, which he did.
Later he asked for 5k and this time he is not returning it, its been three months and I have been reaching out to him monthly once, asking if he has money, he said his employer isnt paying him salary and he doesnt have any, but I can see him at my gym, which i quit due to my budget, yet he is still continuing it(may be he paid for a year or so), but then i realised that he is going to a lot of paid events, but whenever i message him, he leaves me on read and doesn’t lift my calls.
I know its a small amount but it still hurts to be played a fool and I am on a tight budget as it is.
So today I lost my cool called him, and I said ‘I am coing to see you.’
I met him and demanded my money back and I wasnt listening to his stories any more.
He paid it but made me feel little, he was like ‘its just 5k whats worng with you.’
I just said thank you and left
But i feel bad and guilty
Just need to hear your thoughts, am i the asshole?
he did help me, so should I have let the 5k slide
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked for my money which I loaned to my friend back, even though he helped me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
“it’s just 5k”
as someone who’s homeless and underemployed, that made me feel sick to my stomach. nta.
NTA, you did the right thing. It’s clear he had the 5k, as he was able to pay it when you came over, he was just choosing not to up until then. It’s easy for the person owing a debt to say it doesn’t matter, but it’s never their call to make, they aren’t the ones out the money.
Just make sure to learn the two lessons here, 1) don’t loan this person money again, and 2) consider whether this is a friendship you even want to continue, as he was willing to treat you that way.
INFO
What currency is this? Because if you’re claiming 5 thousand dollars/euros is “only a small amount” to lend to someone you barely know, then I don’t believe this story.
You’re not the asshole. You just asked for the money you loaned him. He avoided you and made you feel guilty when he was the one who owed you. That’s on him, not you.
Seriously?
Something tells me that he was never going to return it. It might even be that the 20k earlier he didn’t need at all but was only to show that he was reliable with paying back