My friend, lets call N, lives for drama and gossip. N always has something blunt or nasty to say and honestly at first it was fun, but now it’s became draining. The constant drama she brings is frustrating.
Today’s drama, was talking about one of our other friends sisters, lets just call S. We were all married in our mid 20s in the friend group, S, nearing 30 years old, is not. I don’t see a problem with it, she’s living life and she’s always a good time.
S wasn’t there, but her sister just mentioned that S broke up with her boyfriend because he raised too many red flags. Me and a few others said good for her while N tsked.
We turned to N, who loudly exclaimed that she’s not getting any younger and she needs to stop being so picky. The sister did agree, but she seemed a little skeptical of N’s words.
N continued on with saying that S cannot be “fat and picky”. Everyone went silent and a few awkward chuckles while N kept talking.
N is a bigger lady, by the way, and she was the youngest married out of all of us at 20. Her husband is obsessed with her. She doesn’t work or do anything around the house and no kids. He literally cooks, cleans and pays for everything. All she does is make fun of him all the time.
I couldn’t help it, I spoke up and told her she cannot be talking. N instantly glared at me and said “what the fuck does that mean?” I said that “you got married to a guy who’s obsessed with you and you’re not skinny. Who are you to say that she should settle?”
My friends, to their credit, did not agree or disagree. But N had a whole meltdown that I called her “fat” and that her relationship is “different”.
I just left the party after that because I couldn’t stand being around her anymore. She blocked me on all platforms and a few friends said she brings me up anytime she possibly can. I just don’t care, I’m tired of her.
My husband said I could have been nicer. AITA?
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My friend, lets call N, lives for drama and gossip. N always has something blunt or nasty to say and honestly at first it was fun, but now it’s became draining. The constant drama she brings is frustrating.
Today’s drama, was talking about one of our other friends sisters, lets just call S. We were all married in our mid 20s in the friend group, S, nearing 30 years old, is not. I don’t see a problem with it, she’s living life and she’s always a good time.
S wasn’t there, but her sister just mentioned that S broke up with her boyfriend because he raised too many red flags. Me and a few others said good for her while N tsked.
We turned to N, who loudly exclaimed that she’s not getting any younger and she needs to stop being so picky. The sister did agree, but she seemed a little skeptical of N’s words.
N continued on with saying that S cannot be “fat and picky”. Everyone went silent and a few awkward chuckles while N kept talking.
N is a bigger lady, by the way, and she was the youngest married out of all of us at 20. Her husband is obsessed with her. She doesn’t work or do anything around the house and no kids. He literally cooks, cleans and pays for everything. All she does is make fun of him all the time.
I couldn’t help it, I spoke up and told her she cannot be talking. N instantly glared at me and said “what the fuck does that mean?” I said that “you got married to a guy who’s obsessed with you and you’re not skinny. Who are you to say that she should settle?”
My friends, to their credit, did not agree or disagree. But N had a whole meltdown that I called her “fat” and that her relationship is “different”.
I just left the party after that because I couldn’t stand being around her anymore. She blocked me on all platforms and a few friends said she brings me up anytime she possibly can. I just don’t care, I’m tired of her.
My husband said I could have been nicer. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 calling out my friend in front of others
2 it could have been a mature private conversation and might have been a little petty to do it publicly
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Maybe you COULD have been nicer, but you shouldn’t have been. N was there referring to a friend as fat behind her back. She is not a nice person.
NTA
NTA
NTA The problem with your former friend is she never grew up and has a high school mean girl mentality. She literally has done nothing with her life apart from getting married. All you did was point out she’s not skinny and your friend’s sister doesn’t have to settle for less than what she wants in life after N disparaged this woman. If she can’t take it, she shouldn’t dish it out.
NTA at all hell yea for you sticking up for your friend!
Why should you be nice to somebody who talks shit behind someone else’s back?
NTA, Cant believe people like that exist. Seems like her ego has been forever inflated by her obsessed husband, i wouldnt want people like that around me
It doesn’t matter whether you were nice or not — but N called her friend fat behind someone else’s back. You stood up for that. So NTA.
NTA Why on earth should you be nicer? She doesn’t sound very nice. You could have left the “not skinny” part out though. You will probably be next for some behind the back meanness though. Continue to stand up to this woman and don’t let her take over the group with her unkindness and gossip.
NTA
> We turned to N,
I betcha this isn’t just a turn of phrase. I betcha y’all group has gotten to the point where y’all make space in the convo to turn floor to N to be the rude, nasty “blunt” asshole she is. And y’all all suck cause y’all need to stop that. Y’all know her behavior needs correcting, stop waiting till she REALLY crosses line to correct it.
Cause thats all that happened here. She was waiting for her moment, y’all gave it to her, she preformed, she didn’t get the pop she wanted so she umped tit and FINALLY somoen said something.
Frankly bout time someone walked away from her bullshit.
The main problem I have with this story is that you call this person your “friend”. She does not sound at all friendly and you clearly dislike her. I imagine that from hanging out with her you have either bitten your tongue half-through or accepted her constant “drama and gossip” as a part of her, or at least a part of being in this group.
NTA for challenging her. I think you left the real problem, specifically, that she is a black cloud that rains misery on your hangouts, unsaid.
NTA- and you are better off without her dragging you down. Simply put you won’t allow her to trash the people you know for no reason and had to put a foot down and you would hope if they were in a similar position where someone was trashing you and you were not there, that they would be willing to do the same. You’re adults and can’t be spending time tearing each other down behind backs.
Very weird relationship, wearing overweight women find a man who is obsessed with her, cooks, cleans, and pays for everything and all she does is make fun of them. It’s almost unbelievable.
ESH
You’ve happily joined in with gossip and chatting shit about people and fed in to your friends behavior because it’s “fun”, all she did was push a behavior you’ve been encouraging.
NTA but N did you a favor by blocking you. Keep living your life. Become friends with people who don’t generate drama. Stop hanging out with people who are shitty.