AITA for only taking care of my dog not my brothers

r/

I (20f) have my own dog and my brother (19m) recently got a puppy. I do online classes and work from home, my brother also lives at home but goes to class everyday and works after school a few days a week. He also goes out with his friends when he does have free time he can spend with the puppy. He does not have time to care for a puppy and this was pointed out by everyone beforehand. My dog is walked and exercise daily, trained daily, and comes everywhere he can with me. I guess my brother assumed i’d do the same for his dog?

Well now he has a 5 month old puppy who is barely potty trained, has no training, and never goes on walks. My brother is mad because he’s not home for most of the day, and thinks I should have the puppy out of the crate with me all day and take it on walks/with me when I go somewhere and take my dog with me. He’s also too “busy” to train it and thinks I should since I work with dogs occasionally/train dogs.

I will let it out for couple hours if i’m downstairs and i’ll feed it if nobody else does, but that’s it. Am I the asshole for not taking care of the puppy the same way I do my dog?

edit: I do not leave the puppy in the crate all day. I take her out to go to the bathroom, and let her lay with me and stay out if I am downstairs. But she is in the crate for at least a few hours while i’m home (i’ll do school work + work in my room, my dog hangs out with me but I won’t have a puppy who isn’t potty trained in my room). I could technically bring the puppy with us on walks/stores, but my dog is reactive (work in progress, he’s a badly bred dog who was abused in his last home) and I can’t focus on training him when I also have to watch a puppy.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I (20f) have my own dog and my brother (19m) recently got a puppy. I do online classes and work from home, my brother also lives at home but goes to class everyday and works after school a few days a week. He also goes out with his friends when he does have free time he can spend with the puppy. He does not have time to care for a puppy and this was pointed out by everyone beforehand. My dog is walked and exercise daily, trained daily, and comes everywhere he can with me. I guess my brother assumed i’d do the same for his dog?

    Well now he has a 5 month old puppy who is barely potty trained, has no training, and never goes on walks. My brother is mad because he’s not home for most of the day, and thinks I should have the puppy out of the crate with me all day and take it on walks/with me when I go somewhere and take my dog with me. He’s also too “busy” to train it and thinks I should since I work with dogs occasionally/train dogs.

    I will let it out for couple hours if i’m downstairs and i’ll feed it if nobody else does, but that’s it. Am I the asshole for not taking care of the puppy the same way I do my dog?

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  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > We need to know (1) what action you took that should be judged and (2) why that action might make you the asshole. Your feelings or internal thoughts are not judge-able conflicts. Keep in mind a third party’s opinion alone does not qualify. Your conflict must be with the person your actions affected. You will need to explain briefly why someone calling you an asshole for your actions caused you to believe they might be right. What might you have done wrong?

    Might be an asshole because i’m not caring for the puppy? I meet its basics like feeding it, letting it out to use the bathroom. But I don’t put the effort into it like walking or training, like I do my own dog

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  3. pottersquash Avatar

    ESH. I can’t co-sign letting an animal suffer to prove a point to a foolish human.

  4. Prudent_Marsupial259 Avatar

    Dude A 5mo puppy living in a crate all day? Yea for sure your an ass. But buying an animal you wont care for? yea fuck him.

    ESH

    Brace yourself the dog loves of reddit are coming.

  5. MorganFreemanCoPilot Avatar

    NTA. Find out what dog sitting and dog walking fees are. Tell your brother you’d be glad to do it for a fee.

    I have no idea how you’re patiently living with a dog that’s not properly potty trained by 5 months. It’d be a dealbreaker for me.

  6. diminishingpatience Avatar

    NTA. It’s his responsibility, a responsibility that was made clear to him before he took it on.

  7. Lopsided_Ad2082 Avatar

    Both. It’s not your responsibility, buts it’s a living animal who has requirements. Your brother shouldn’t have got the dog

  8. Lolligagers Avatar

    INFO: where are your parents in all this? He sounds very immature, and although you’re both technically “adults”, it seems the further we go in time as humans, the longer it takes for maturity to hit a decent level… but anyways, if I was his dad, I’d force him to take care of his pet or give it to someone who can, doesn’t matter if he paid for it. He should not have a pet, of any kind, you should not be forced to take care of it, and the pet is the real one “losing” here, and that’s not fair. If your parents don’t act as good judge/jury/executioners in this case, swiftly, then they are horrible parents, so you’re stuck with 3 horrible people and an unwanted pet: leave.

  9. inittowinit87 Avatar

    NTA. You didn’t sign up for that. It would be different if he’d asked you for help before bringing it home, but it doesn’t sound like he did. Sucks for the dog, but not your circus, not your monkeys. Untrained puppies are tornadoes, you have to keep an eye on them at all times. Not easy to do when you’re trying to concentrate on something.

  10. quincebush Avatar

    NTA My last dog was a rescue that was a puppy surrendered by a teenager who didn’t have the time to properly care for the dog. While I feel sorry for the dog, it’s your brother’s responsibility to make sure the puppy is trained, feed and exercised. If your brother cares about the welfare of the puppy, he’ll either make suitable arrangements for it’s day to day care or he’ll surender it to a reputable rescue.

  11. indicatprincess Avatar

    > Well now he has a 5 month old puppy who is barely potty trained, has no training, and never goes on walks. My brother is mad because he’s not home for most of the day,

    NTA

    But seriously, be nice to the puppy or it’s going to have major issues. This really sucks for the dog.

  12. delilah_jones64 Avatar

    NTA! Definitely need to make him pay you to care for the dog. I would give him the ultimatum that if he doesn’t start caring for his dog, you are going to find a new home for it.

  13. gloryhokinetic Avatar

    NTA. But your parents? Yeah, they are definitely the AH here along with your brother. Them for allowing his to abuse his animal via neglect, him for being him.

  14. ThymeLordess Avatar

    NTA in a technical sense but wtf man, that’s an innocent little puppy that you could take care of. Your brother definitely sucks for expecting you to take care of his dog and sucks even more for getting a puppy he doesn’t have time to train. But the poor pup is the only one that’s suffering here.

  15. pumpkinbubbles Avatar

    ESH. Are you living in your parent’s home? Where are they in all of this? While it sounds like you are doing better than your brother, it doesn’t sound like either or you was really ready for animals. If your brother is living in your home, you should have squashed the puppy idea before it arrived. If you are living with your parents and they allow this, you need to decide whether you and your dog can move out or if you need to stay and help out with the puppy even though it shouldn’t be your responsibility.

  16. Mysterious_Step_8941 Avatar

    Nta, but the puppy cant take care of herself. She is helpless. The higher path is to take care of the puppy. Not for your brother, but for the animal. Id also consider rehoming for the sake of the dog.