My best friend has gotten really into the whole wellness lifestyle, like yoga, meditation, ice baths and green juice. Honestly, good for her, I’m glad she’s found something that makes her happy.
The problem is she’s now organising her own weekend “wellness retreat” for a small group of us. It’s two nights at an Airbnb about two hours away. The itinerary she sent out includes sunrise yoga, “silent journaling time,” a group sound bath, and mandatory vegan meals.
The cost? £800 per person.
I politely said I couldn’t afford that right now. Moneys tight but also I don’t think I’d enjoy it, I prefer cocktails and pubs than goop wellness stuff. She got really upset and said I’m “not supporting her passion” and that this was meant to be an “investment in our friendship.”
I told her I’d love to hang out one-on-one or do something more low-key (like a spa day, or even just a regular weekend away), but she insists it has to be the retreat.
Now she’s kind of icing me out in the group chat, and a couple of our mutual friends said they’re going just so they don’t “rock the boat.”
So… AITA for refusing to pay for and attend my best friend’s DIY wellness retreat?
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My best friend has gotten really into the whole wellness lifestyle, like yoga, meditation, ice baths and green juice. Honestly, good for her, I’m glad she’s found something that makes her happy.
The problem is she’s now organising her own weekend “wellness retreat” for a small group of us. It’s two nights at an Airbnb about two hours away. The itinerary she sent out includes sunrise yoga, “silent journaling time,” a group sound bath, and mandatory vegan meals.
The cost? £800 per person.
I politely said I couldn’t afford that right now. Moneys tight but also I don’t think I’d enjoy it, I prefer cocktails and pubs than goop wellness stuff. She got really upset and said I’m “not supporting her passion” and that this was meant to be an “investment in our friendship.”
I told her I’d love to hang out one-on-one or do something more low-key (like a spa day, or even just a regular weekend away), but she insists it has to be the retreat.
Now she’s kind of icing me out in the group chat, and a couple of our mutual friends said they’re going just so they don’t “rock the boat.”
So… AITA for refusing to pay for and attend my best friend’s DIY wellness retreat?
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> I may Be the asshole as everyone else is going so I’m the odd one out, it’s also for her birthday
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Wait, goop? Isn’t that the company run/owned by Gwyneth Paltrow?
NTA, it’s a scam and probably not even safe for you anyways.
NTA. Who does she think she is? The Queen Bee? Let her ice you out of that discussion. Stick to: Too much to spend on someone else’s idea of a good time.
NTA. Money “investment in friendship” doesn’t exist. At this point she is a scammer and not your friend anymore. Sorry for your loss.
Edit grammar.
NTA.
A monetary “investment in [your] friendship” strikes me as oxymoronic. Friends don’t scam friends.
NTA, saying that you should “invest [meaning literally, with money] in our friendship” is some manipulative, scammer-type BS. You’ve got some pretty weak-spined friends if they’re considering going along with this so as not to “rock the boat.”
NTA! Your friend is a controlling AH. Ya for her getting healthier. She has no right to tell you how to live your life or expect you to pay what she wants you to. Find another friend group more aligned with your life style now. I bet some of those other friends might join you.
“investment in our friendship” lol. lmao even. NTA. you may want to reconsider if this person is really your friend or not.
She sounds like a pain in the rear.
Is she starting a cult? Who has 800 quid for a weekend of nothing?
I wonder if she gets so many people to join, her session might be free?🤔
NTA. I’m currently on a pretty aggro health kick. Tracking calories, lifting, exercise, etc. While im up front about how good it is for my mental and physical wellbeing and encourage my friends to join me, I can’t imagine being anything but supportive of the choices they make for themselves even if it’s a couch, snacks, and weed lifestyle.
NTA
She’s starting a business and expects her friends to pay for stuff so she can earn her living doing what she loves to do. Get used to saying no a lot.
>mandatory vegan meals.
Enough reason right there to nope out of it. In fact if you are my friend and want to deny your self, that’s fine, but don’t try and push that crap on me, and if you try and make it mandatory, well nice knowing you.
This lady doesn’t sound like your friend. When you don’t do what she says she ices you out? That’s manipulative as hell. She wouldn’t do that if she valued you.
If she’s icing you out because you won’t spend money on her grand plans, she isn’t the friend you think she is.
She needs to learn that her passion isn’t everyone else’s passion.
NTA.
With “friends” like that, who needs enemies? Stay home, save your money, find new friends. NTA!
F that nonsense. £800 for a weekend of activities you’re going to hate? Ick. You’re so NTA that you almost become TA for even asking the question. Just kidding.
Start distancing yourself from this crazy person.
NTA – friends don’t pressure friends to spend money. She can treat you then if it’s that important to your friendship.
you need friends not investors.
NTA. Also wtf is the 800£ going towards exactly? Apart from meals and renting the Airbnb, the activities you listed are free or close to it. And even with the cost of the Airbnb and meals, unless you’re going to be staying in a castle with a live in Michelin star chef, I don’t see how the price is remotely justified.
I’d still refuse to go, but I’d demand a detailed cost breakdown (with proof) first. I’m sure she’d be unable to provide it.
Absolutely NTA but your friend sure is for putting on the heavy pressure. If this was an inexpensive retreat – I’d say suck it up and go to support your friend (for me personally that would be roughly $100 or less – others might have different limits which is totally fine!) But to ask for an ‘investment’ of nearly a grand – oh hell no!
“Friend” is probably pissed because there is now one less person to subsidize (should have used subsidise) her weekend.
Fuck that noise. Don’t invest in scams.
NTA. Tell her that you don’t buy friends.
Your ‘best friend’ isn’t being very ‘best’.
NTA. Your response was spot on. If it is a group chat for the women going on this retreat, who cares if you get iced out?
If this is her new thing, she’ll probably use the group chat to get everyone in on the next one.
Best friends are the people you should be able to be honest with and they’ll like you regardless. Even if the truth hurts. You told her you wanted to hang out with her, but this retreat isn’t something you can spend your limited funds on. She can take it as she will.
NTA, no is a complete sentence, when she brings it up say “Have fun!”
What is the strange power she has over your friends?
NTA. She sounds like a grifter.
NTA. Let her be mad and distance herself from you. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
The other people who are going so they don’t rock the boat are idiots. They’ll stop once they’ve lost more money then they can afford. Save yours for things you actually enjoy.
NTA. You aren’t the problem here, but everyone else is. Your friend is trying to shove this shit down everyone’s throats, and your other friends are just gonna eat it so they don’t “rock the boat”. Which gives her ammunition to make it seem like you’re the only one with an issue
That is not a friend.
NTA
Congrats on escaping.
NTA and she’s not a real friend. Good riddance
NTA. Has she fallen down some “wellness” MLM rabbit hole?
Let her ice you out. She never was a real friend in the first place if she does.
NTA that’s some pyramid scheme bullshit 🤨
NTA
Let’s just say you should uh, divest from the friendship instead and find a replacement best friend
I’m thinking that it’s not a “wellness retreat” so much as a weekend of MLM pressure sales and recruiting.
NTA.
Paying 800 pounds for a friend sounds more like prostitution to me.
I’ll bet you a Kebab that you are subsidizing her retreat …
Your friend is obviously not all there mentally. You’re not an asshole. You’re just friends with a nutter. The fact that mutual friends are going along with this just to shield themselves from an adverse reaction from her is the proof of that being the case.
NTA Even if it wasn’t your friend, £800 sounds waaaay overpriced for what she’s offering. Yoga is cheap, journaling is free, and I can cook my own meals and ring my own damn gong if I want.
For £800 you could probably rent the Airbnb next door to the retreat, have the whole place to yourself, and do whatever you want for the weekend.
You can’t afford this “friendship.” It’s purely transactional and obviously ended when you refused to play her silly games. She’s assuming that you must think exactly as she does and denying you the right to make your own decisions. Be glad you got out before she started an MLM – unless she already has, and that’s why she is all upset and using words like ‘investing’ and ‘passion.’
NTA. It sounds like she wants you to invest in her bankaccount tbh. The weekend doesn’t cost her £800, she plans to make a profit.
An investment in your friendship?!? Lmao. These ghouls have no shame
NTA Don’t spend the money and call it an investment in your peace.
NTA. First of all, does she have any actually qualifications to promote wellness or is it all vibes?
Second, a demand to be her customers is not a wellness-focused way of cultivating support. She’s using manipulation and guilt to force you into debt to support her vision. By doing so, she is creating the state of unwellness she purports to solve with her “treatments”.
Lastly, investments in friendship are usually emotional and physical, not financial. True friends don’t emotionally blackmail friends into supporting their work.
NTA . It’s not something you want to spend your hard earned money on…..if that’s what she expects of her friends, then your parting ways is likely in the future. I really dislike so called friends telling you how to spend your money!
I’m rich. Like not daddy warbucks or the royal family, but I’m worth over a million quid. I feel loved by my circle of friends, I’ve paid for international trips for some of them. There is no way in fuck I’d pay £800 for this bullshit
You don’t have to financially invest in a friendship.
She’s become a new age grifter. NTA Don’t fall for this.
And not for nothing, but an 800 quid retreat that involves ‘silent journaling’ sounds as enticing as a freaking root canal.
Thats not normal. At all
I have a friend who owns a yoga studio and she will invite us to go to places with her and she sets it up so that you know there are meals, it’s a retreat, and yes, you do pay for it, but she doesn’t tell me I have to go in order to remain friends with her. I’ve actually never gone and she lives next-door to me and I go to her yoga studio, but I don’t go on the trips . She’s never once made me feel bad about it or imply that I should be putting money into her business
whoever is doing this to you is really manipulative and you just need to gray rock her as much as possible.
NTA sounds like everyone is subsidizing her trip. LOL
NTA. If you decided to organize a random party weekend with drinking, a concert, and buffet meals (I’m thinking Vegas style) then your friend obviously wouldn’t have to join this because it’s clearly not something she’s interested in. For a random wellness retreat she’s suddenly thrown together I’m not sure why your friends have agreed to go unless they’re actually excited to participate. You should throw back at her:
“If you really cared about MY wellness and OUR friendship you’d be paying for me to go. I already told you I can’t afford this and you adding pressure or icing me out is just crushing my mental health more. This is really bad for your karma babe, you should be supporting me and not tearing me down when I say I don’t have the money for this.”
800 quid? And not even a decent steak?
Sounds like another scam dressed as wellness. What, are they flying in an Indian guru for the yoga class?
Also, investment in your friendship? What is that?
Absurd.
She’s TA for assuming (then mandating) that all her friends have a spare £800. How tone deaf!
If you can’t decline a trip that doesn’t interest you without her icing you out, this woman is not your friend. Those that are going along to “not rock the boat” could learn a thing or two from you and your super shiny spine!
NTA.
NTA is this an MLM?
NTA I’m in the Wellness Woowoo community and I’d be nope I’m not going. £800 would be well served investing in you. Anything that is mandatory means she’s not thinking of the group just her.
I was speaking to my friend who is in the same community and there definitely is a sort of Crypto Bro side to a few folk in the Wellness/Spiritual Community. Maybe not see her as often if she fully goes down this rabbit hole as it might take over her whole life. On the whole the Wellness and Spiritulity Community are great but there can be some cult like behaviour especially if she is starting to not be as open to other folks points of view as she used to do.
So your friends would rather pay £800 than rock the boat. I may have a bridge to sell them.
That’s not how friendships work. You don’t “invest” money in friendships 😂
YTA
Is she making money off of you?
NTA she sounds toxic AF
complete free loader.
Leave this person in the dust.
NTA. She can invest in her business idea and friendship and take her closest friends on a retreat. These friends can help her market her gimmick and she can charge them as much as she pleases. Her entitlement towards your money is amusing.
NTA.
“So sorry, that’s YOUR passion. I’m going to support my own damn passion, thank you very much.”
Just say you don’t invest in transactional relationships. The ROI is abysmal, as emotional bankruptcy is too costly.
NTA.
NTA – you “friend” is acting snobbish and is basically bullying people.
Your friend has really lost touch with reality if she believes forcing friends to fork over money for a wellness retreat is an investment in the friendship. For your friend to get upset with you and others just to go along makes me believe this is some kind of scheme. Maybe your friend got some type of deal if she brings X number of people to this wellness retreat? You were honest with your friend, and instead of understanding you received an aggressive sales pitch. This friend isn’t enlightened and just plain entitled. As a friend she’s not proving to be a good investment of your time. Your financial contribution doesn’t equate to supporting the friendship. NTA.
NTA! The part about “investment in the friendship” absolutely, 💯 sounds like MLM speak! It sounds like your friend is in an MLM scheme and looking to recruit others (as is required by all MLMs). I’m guessing the friends attending will be subjected to whatever she’s selling & investing/assuming the lifestyle too. Please update us after the weekend has happened!
Just curious, how much of that £800 ends up in her pocket?
NTA wee woo wee woo Cult alert wee woo wee woo MLM alert wee woo wee woo