I’m struggling with my ex. He’s the father of our 2-year-old daughter and refuses to take responsibility for much of anything, yet he wants to have a major role in her life. Whenever I bring up concerns about stability and planning for our daughter’s future, he insults me and calls me names, saying I’m “overreacting” or “crazy.” His sarcasm and constant put-downs make it hard for me to have any constructive conversation with him.
He doesn’t have a trade or degree and is working part-time as a chef, still living with his parents. Most of his money goes toward things like weed, and he’s expressed that he doesn’t want to pay child support because he feels “poor” and doesn’t want the responsibility of a child he doesn’t see often. Despite this, he insists on 50/50 custody and expects me to drive our daughter one and a half hours each way to see him. I’m trying to balance work, study, and childcare, and this feels completely unrealistic.
I’ve suggested co-parenting therapy to help establish boundaries and a healthy routine for our daughter, but he refuses, claiming that I’m the only one with issues. He continually downplays the challenges of raising a toddler and dismisses any concerns I have about stability, safety, or schedules. It leaves me feeling exhausted and frustrated.
I want to provide a stable, secure environment for our daughter and ensure that she has a healthy routine, but his refusal to take responsibility makes this incredibly difficult. I feel like I’m the only one thinking about long-term planning, and it’s scary to imagine the impact his behaviour could have on her if nothing changes.
I’m also worried about the legal and logistical side of this. He wants to be heavily involved in our daughter’s life without actually doing the work that comes with raising her. I’m unsure how to handle custody, transport obligations, and financial support in a way that protects both her wellbeing and my own sanity.
I don’t know if I should continue trying to negotiate with him or start setting firmer boundaries, possibly limiting contact until he is willing to engage responsibly. How can I protect my daughter from instability while still allowing him to be part of her life, if at all? Has anyone been in a situation like this, and what strategies worked for you?
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Go for 100% custody, I think that many judges would grant you that. Also make him pay child support.
Talk to a lawyer about this
You posted this here an hour ago, why are you double posting? You won’t get better advice by spamming
Take his ass to court