I won’t lie I’m deeply disappointed by men’s lack of emotional availability. I simply want a friends with benefits who is okay with just having a casual sexual relationship where we can play video games together, hang out and actually be friends. Unfortunately I’ve noticed that men will either just have sex with you and (for some reason) hate your presence outside of sex or they will develop feelings and try to act on them even when they know you aren’t compatible. (Example: wants kids/hates children) Like why try to force a relationship when you genuinely HATE major parts of someone’s personality? I genuinely just want something casual, but instead I get men who can’t be friends or men who want someone they can force to be miserable with. (And cheaters, of course) Looking for a relationship isn’t any better either, so what gives? Why does it seem like everyone is dedicated to being and making others unhappy in the dating scene? Every woman I’ve met has been with an abuser and every man I’ve met has either fallen into (or gotten very close to) the weird Andrew Tate, sister wives nonsense. This is more of a rant than anything but can the happily married, or sexually satisfied people of Reddit share some positivity? This stuff is bumming me out…
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Something casual is just sex for most men. What you’re asking for is above that. At that point u want a relationship without a relationship title.
I guess we’ve complicated the shit out of everything.
It’s high time we unfuck relationships and stop overthinking.
What you want is pretty much doable.
It sounds great in theory.
I know because I have been in your situation.
But the problem is, with all the time that’s spent together, usually, one of the two develops more feelings.
And that’s how it ends on a bitter note.
I only met one guy like that for me and it was my coworker. So we knew each other pretty well. We would fuck but then hangout after. Go to work the next day, part ways after. He was finishing his degree so we really only saw each other at work or when we wanted to get it on. Which we were both fine with. But we also did other things. We didn’t go out in public, but people knew we were friends. But nothing more. No one even knew we were hooking up at our job and we worked very closely together. We didn’t that for a year or year and a half? A good amount of time, then he left back to his city when he graduated.
They exist but you’re going to find them in person. Any guy Ive tried to be casual with was just as you described. One of the two. And it does give you a hit in the gut.
I’m like you. I can be casually sex friends. And not catch feelings. I’m hyper sexual so it’s best for me to be casual with one person since I’d otherwise get casual sex from multiple people if they were one offs.
My FWB really boosted my confidence in myself. I felt really good and it made me respect myself more. And then I started casually seeing a guy that plummeted my confidence after FWB left:,( And I just felt like a throwaway sex doll.
The only guy, ever, to make me almost fully comfortable was my FWB. That was how good everything was. And we ended on good terms. Barely text now though. He’s cities away. Even if I felt good based off lies, at least it has never felt like that(if that makes any sense, since most people say casual is genuinely just sex to guys). I’ve come to terms with it probably having to be someone I know in person. It makes the most sense too.