AITA? It seems seems like days where I work I stay up much later at night for whatever reason (probably from drinking a ton of coffee as well as being stimulated from work). On my days off, I typically fall asleep earlier than when I’m working (definitely from drinking beers and doing activities which actually tire me out). For context here we’re in our late 20s.
My girlfriend wants me to stay up later so we can hangout longer which I totally understand. We hung out yesterday all day and typically do on our days off.
I made a comment while playing a board game we can play 2/3 (implying I was going to win the first game) which set her off because she had that minutes before but I didn’t hear her say it. We normally have really good banter this was just a miscommunication from my perspective that brought out her competitive side.
On days where I’ll work she will sometimes fall asleep hours before me, which I’m 100% okay with as I know the feeling of being tired and wanting to go to bed. I typically wake up later than she does too so it kind of balances out.
Last night around 11;45pm, I started to doze off and she got upset and a little emotional starting to cry a little bit because she wanted to stay up until 1:30pm. I feel horrible and try to stay up later, give it my best efforts but when your body wants to sleep there isn’t much you can do at that point. This has probably happened like 5-6 times of dating throughout a year.
I feel guilty because she wants to hangout longer and I can’t stay awake, she gets a little emotional sometimes when I’m falling asleep. This is typically between 1030-1130pm at night, never before or later.
Am I the asshole?
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AITA? It seems seems like days where I work I stay up much later at night for whatever reason (probably from drinking a ton of coffee as well as being stimulated from work). On my days off, I typically fall asleep earlier than when I’m working (definitely from drinking beers and doing activities which actually tire me out). For context here we’re in our late 20s.
My girlfriend wants me to stay up later so we can hangout longer which I totally understand. We hung out yesterday all day and typically do on our days off.
I made a comment while playing a board game we can play 2/3 (implying I was going to win the first game) which set her off because she had that minutes before but I didn’t hear her say it. We normally have really good banter this was just a miscommunication from my perspective that brought out her competitive side.
On days where I’ll work she will sometimes fall asleep hours before me, which I’m 100% okay with as I know the feeling of being tired and wanting to go to bed. I typically wake up later than she does too so it kind of balances out.
Last night around 11;45pm, I started to doze off and she got upset and a little emotional starting to cry a little bit because she wanted to stay up until 1:30pm. I feel horrible and try to stay up later, give it my best efforts but when your body wants to sleep there isn’t much you can do at that point. This has probably happened like 5-6 times of dating throughout a year.
I feel guilty because she wants to hangout longer and I can’t stay awake, she gets a little emotional sometimes when I’m falling asleep. This is typically between 1030-1130pm at night, never before or later.
Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like I may be the asshole because I’m falling asleep earlier than my girlfriend who wants to hangout, my body is tired and it’s hard to fight off the sleep around 10:30-11:30 on my days off. This only happens 2 days a week on my days off, and she’s only gotten emotionally upset about it 5-6 times.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, it’s not like you’re falling asleep at 7:30 on her or something. I’m a night owl and I would never expect someone to stay up until 1:30 in the morning.
Is she emotional or tired? Sounds like y’all both are tired if I’m honest. Yall in your late 20s, hate to tell you but 1am ain’t your hours no more. You may want to think about changing your off days so you can spend some together time if thats possible. Your in your late 20s, those beers will be affecting you differently anyway nah.
NTA. We all have unique circadian rhythms that influence when we need to get to sleep. Leaning into these rhythms is actually healthy and needs to be respected for optimal health. You’re not a night owl and your genetics largely dictates this. Your GF needs to learn to not take your circadian needs personally.
NTA
There are a lot of things in my schedule I will change for the sake of my wife, but my sleep schedule isn’t one of them.
She will stay up late once in a while for a date night or something… and I’ll get up early sometimes if something is going on in the morning, but just fucking up my sleep schedule for the purpose of hanging out more doesn’t work well.
Ask her to get up earlier.
NTA but you guys have to communicate better.
I had a similar issue when I first started dating my now-fiancé; he’s much more of a night owl than me and just generally sleeps less so he wanted me to stay up later so we could hang out longer. I obviously loved that he wanted to spend more time with me but proper sleep is really important for both my physical and mental health. I told him that I need my proper sleep and me wanting to go to bed at a certain time isn’t a personal slight to him, but it destroys me the next day if I don’t get at least 8 hours of sleep. I’d rather have quality time together rather than half asleep sitting on a couch. On weekends I stay up a bit later but week days I stick to my strict bedtime. He’s actually started going to bed earlier now with me and enjoys getting a better sleep lol.