I (34F) am married to my husband (35M).
Recently my husband got a huge set of DMs from a woman I don’t know. For context, I dated her current boyfriend about 10 years ago. It was a short relationship, maybe 10 months, and we have had no contact ever since. I’m married now and my Instagram is just normal lifestyle and aesthetic posts.
This woman sent my husband a long rant accusing me of secretly sending signals to her boyfriend through my posts. She claims my posts are making him spiral, keeping them awake at night, and confusing their relationship.
Some of the “hints” she thinks I’m dropping:
• I posted a sunset photo and she said it was because sunsets are meaningful to him
• I posted a book and she said it was because he likes literature and I was trying to connect with him
• I shared a coffee photo and she said it was because he drinks black coffee and I was taunting her
• I shared a plant photo and she messaged my husband saying “Adrian and I are both plant lovers. Your wife is dropping hints she wants him back”
Here is a direct excerpt from her actual message so you can see how it sounds:
“Your wife is perfectly aware of the pain she is causing all of us here. Please be kind enough to talk to her. She is dropping hints about wanting Adrian behind your back. It is really unfair. Her posts are making him recall bad memories and it is one of the reasons we cannot sleep at night.”
It goes on like this for pages. She even corrected herself mid-message to say “Mrs.” instead of “Ms.” when talking about me, just to point out that I am married.
I don’t know how to handle this. I haven’t spoken to this guy in a decade. My Instagram posts are just aesthetic and personal, nothing directed at anyone.
Would you ignore and block her completely? Should I reply once to shut it down? Has anyone else dealt with someone projecting their own relationship problems onto you like this?
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TL;DR: I’m 34F, my husband is 35M. My husband got a long rant from a woman accusing me of sending “hints” to her boyfriend through my Instagram posts. The guy is my ex from 10 years ago. I haven’t spoken to him since, but she’s projecting her relationship issues onto me.