I (25F) am really struggling with something in my relationship with my boyfriend (28M), and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it.
He has been taking money from my small business without asking. The first time it happened, he told me he needed to move the money into his account for house expenses, but I later found out he just spent it. I stayed quiet to keep the peace, and after about a month he eventually put the money back.
Before any of this, I suggested he get a second job since we have been talking about buying a house. He refused and said he would never do that, so I dropped it.
Later, I invited him to help me with my business, which is making bouquets, and I offered to split profits with him. Recently I discovered he had taken all of the money, both his share and mine, without telling me. When I confronted him, he got defensive, said he needed it for the house, and was rude about it. The only reason I even noticed was because the numbers were not adding up.
I had already asked him not to use the money without permission, but he brushed it off and laughed like it was not serious. Now he has done it more than once, and when I brought it up again, he showed no remorse and started giving me the silent treatment.
What hurts the most is that if he had simply asked me, I would have lent him the money. Instead, he is sneaky, dismissive, and makes me feel like I am wrong for questioning him.
I have not told anyone about this, not even my parents, because I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But part of me really wants to call his mom and explain what has been happening, hoping she might talk some sense into him. The problem is that I know he will see it as me embarrassing him or being disrespectful by involving her in what he calls private matters.
PS: The first time he took money(he asked after already taking it), he paid it back within a month. The second time, he paid it back within 48 hours after I hammered on about it. He’s essentially using my business as some sort credit card for his personal life without my permission.
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I (25F) am really struggling with something in my relationship with my boyfriend (28M), and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it.
He has been taking money from my small business without asking. The first time it happened, he told me he needed to move the money into his account for house expenses, but I later found out he just spent it. I stayed quiet to keep the peace, and after about a month he eventually put the money back.
Before any of this, I suggested he get a second job since we have been talking about buying a house. He refused and said he would never do that, so I dropped it.
Later, I invited him to help me with my business, which is making bouquets, and I offered to split profits with him. Recently I discovered he had taken all of the money, both his share and mine, without telling me. When I confronted him, he got defensive, said he needed it for the house, and was rude about it. The only reason I even noticed was because the numbers were not adding up.
I had already asked him not to use the money without permission, but he brushed it off and laughed like it was not serious. Now he has done it more than once, and when I brought it up again, he showed no remorse and started giving me the silent treatment.
What hurts the most is that if he had simply asked me, I would have lent him the money. Instead, he is sneaky, dismissive, and makes me feel like I am wrong for questioning him.
I have not told anyone about this, not even my parents, because I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But part of me really wants to call his mom and explain what has been happening, hoping she might talk some sense into him. The problem is that I know he will see it as me embarrassing him or being disrespectful by involving her in what he calls private matters.
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Nta they should be responsible for the things they did.
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> 1. I want to report my partner to his mom, 2. It will really be embarrassing for him if I do that
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your boyfriend is a thief and a liar and his using you ! Time for him to hit the road
>part of me really wants to call his mom
?????? are you not an adult? ? ?? for one thing, he should be your ex boyfriend, and for another, forget calling his mom, call the damn police. obviously you’re not the asshole but come on dude you can make better decisions than this. this guy is straight up robbing you and you wanna tell on him to his mom like you’re on the playground? NTA but you’re making bad choices
How does he have access to the money?
ESH.He’s chronologically an adult. Call the police . And take his name off.the account.
I cannot imagine a scenario such as the one described here. He stole, yet she stayed with him. She invites him into a profit sharing scenario, and he stole again, yet… now it’s up on reddit? Her boots aren’t imprinted on his backside?
Anyhow, and as if this was a serious dilemma, YTA.
Get an account in your name ONLY! Do not tell him anything about it. Do not lend him anything, he is taking big advantage of you. Do not tell his mom, he’s not a little boy, any longer.
Cut off his asces to your business accounts and dump him.
He’d be locked out of that account immediately if he stole something from me. All passwords changed, signatory rights rescinded and he’d be lucky if I didn’t prosecute.
This is all on you for hiring someone you know is a thief after transferring money for “house expenses” to work for you and handle money. Crying to his mom isn’t going to do anything. Just fire him, kick him to the curb and carry on with hopefully more sense than you had in the past. If his mom reaches out and asks you then you can tell her that sadly her son stole from the company, and you had to break ties.
Sure, tell his mom. But, do it AFTER you dump him!
girl run!
NTAH, you need to leave yesterday. This is a crazy case of this person having NO respect for you. They are openly stealing from you because they know they can control you and get away with it. Please leave this person and respect yourself and your boundaries.
He is stealing. He should not be your BF.
How is he not your ex?
Are you hoping to marry this man you already cannot trust? It’s time to move on!
Why are you staying with a THIEF??
Look lock down your accounts and dump him
After he stole the first time he should have been out the door.
I feel bad you are getting robbed but I do not feel bad in other ways.
You can tell his mom after the fact that you broke up with her son becaue he was a thief.
Give this guy the punt immediately!
Time for police intervention, truthfully.
NTA.
Your (hopefully ex) BF is majorly the AH.
Why does he have access to the money? You’re with a guy who is financially abusing you, he doesn’t sound like the winner’s choice for a long term partner. You would be NTA if you told his mum, he deserves a bollocking.
NTA but you should have known better after he took money from you the first time.
Dump his ass and try to get your money back. File police report if you have to.
How does he have access!?
I think calling the police is more apt, as well as ex boyfriend.
Why are you still with someone that steals from you, tries to gaslight you that that’s not what he’s doing, and then gets mad at you when that doesn’t work? I know you’re going to say you love him, but he has no respect for you or your things. He sees you as a bank account. Do not marry him do not buy a house with him. Do not allow him access to your money or business. Hell, who knows if he has debt that you don’t know about as well. He is not a trustworthy person. He has shown you that. Love yourself and respect yourself by kicking him to the curb.
NTA
Sounds like you needed more boundaries, but now you will not trust him, and he does not respect you. You should end up that relationship but cause it will happen with other aspects of your life together.
You want a future with this person? He’s a liar and a thief who doesn’t care about or respect you? You should break up with him. Before he uses you any further.
Honestly at this point YTA for continuing to trust a guy who has repeatedly stolen money from your business.
I would confront him and definitely leave him – then find a way to get the money back. Change all accounts and everything. He’s just going to get worse.
NTA if you want to tell. YTA to yourself if you stay with him after this. Does he do drugs?
NTA for being upset and wanting to expose him. Not sure about telling his mother, but if you think that will work, go for it.
However, I can’t figure out why you are putting up with this thief and worrying about “embarrassing” him.
He should not have had access to the money from your business in the first place. Take away access right now.
Frankly, I can’t believe you are still with someone like that.
(Edited to make vote clearer.)
LEAVE. LEAVE. LEAVE. LEAVE. Get off Reddit and break up with the thief already. Good grief. Why are you still with him? How many red flags does he have to throw up before you realize you’ve anchored yourself who is basically the gum beneath your shoe. NTA but stop being Y T A to yourself.
YTA because this is beyond stupid. Some guy is repeatedly stealing money from you and all you can think to do is tell on him to his mommy? You’re a grown ass woman, act like it. You think his mom, 28 years in, just forgot to tell him to not steal from people and respect his partner?
What in the actual fuck.
You don’t need to “tell on” him unless she asks why you broke up. Your initial answer is that you can no longer trust him. If she says explain, just tell her that he stole money from your business and refuses to pay you back. You won’t tolerate a thief and a liar.
And then STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Don’t trust him even if he crawls back and begs your forgiveness and “here’s all the money I took.”
Take the money and then slam that door again in his face. Once a thieving coward and liar, ALWAYS a thriving coward and liar.
NTA. LEAVE HIM, NOW! Telling on him will only make things worse. You are in for a HUGE fight if you do.
JHC! Remove his access to YOUR MONEY!!!!! WHY does he even have it in the first place!!?????
Calling his mother is completely pointless and she will of course, side with him over you. PLEASE, before I have an aneurysm, tell me that you will consider it.
Why is he not an ex boyfriend. This is a grown man, why are you wanting to call his mama to deal with it. This man is stealing from you, showing no remorse and has no respect for your business. Does he need to sprout an actual red flag from his head for you to notice the glaring bright red flag? Or would you ignore that too?
You need to give the boyfriend the boot. Out of your house. Out of your business and out of your life. His Mom has nothing to do with this. Apparently, he either never learned anything about honesty and ethics from her, or he completely failed.
This isn’t a boys. He’s a thief. A petty criminal that you are allowing to abuse you financially and emotionally.
Yikes. So this will only continue and unfortunately will likely escalate into you having zero earnings for yourself. I don’t care how long or strong a relationship can be. He needs to get the boot and lose all access to your finances. His mother shouldn’t be the next step – it should be a firm boundary and cut off of fiscal access AND THEN the police if he steals again.
NTA and hopefully ex
Break up with him. Not sure why you have to tell his mom. He’s 28 not 8.
Why does he even have access?
Oh my God!! Forget about telling his Mommy!! Kick his sorry ass to the curb!! NOW!! Why are you putting up with this?? Are you that scared to be alone??
NTA unless you stay with him!!!
YTA for letting this man financially ruin you and refusing to dump him. He doesn’t respect you, he steals from you, he probably hates you because he’s a dumbfuck and you’ve got a thriving business
So your “boyfriend” is stealing from you and YOU feel embarrassed???? If he is stealing (which is exactly what taking money without telling you is called) AND he berates you when you bring up his criminal behavior, why are you still with him? He has proven he is dishonest and a thief! This is not someone you need to invest in emotionally. Break it off and remove his access to any of your business and money. That is the only way you will have any peace.
I truly hope this isn’t a real story. Someone would put up with theft and belittling behavior? Please say it’s made up!
Please think about this ..at 25, you are considering calling his mom. You know that isn’t right. You know he isn’t right. You know you deserve better. Love yourself and lose 150 lbs (or however much he weighs) real quick.
He stole from you. Why are you with someone who stole from you? Tell the world what a loser thief he is as you dump him.
Why does he have access to your biz and money? He’s proven he shouldn’t. Stay with him if you want a lifetime of policing this kind of stuff 😬
Why does he have access to the money?!?! He never should have been able to do this. After the first time, you should have locked it down and you definitely should not have hired him. Embezzlement is illegal. This is your livelihood he is messing with. What happens when you can’t pay work expenses when you don’t have the money? Change your passwords, lock up the access, break up with him, and file a police report the next time someone steals from you.
What everyone is saying here. NTA, but unsure about telling the mom. First, remove his access to any funds. If you have proof of his theft, file charges. Ditch this parasite.
YWBTA to yourself if you continued in a relationship with this person. Why do you value yourself so little?
What is his mom going to do? That’s not a solution.
Kick his ass out and find someone who respects you.
So, this person has stolen money from you multiple times, and you still allow him into your life?
Break up with him and make sure he has no access to your finances or property.
NTA.
Why does he have access to your business account? That needs to change yesterday. He is stealing from you, and it won’t stop happening until you make it stop. Tattling to his mom isn’t the answer. Dumping his thieving behind is.
YTA he’s your abuser not your boyfriend, and you’re colluding with him. Freeze your credit if you haven’t, then plan your next steps carefully. My choice would be to find a time very soon when you either remove his stuff from your place and change the locks, or move your stuff out. Last thing before he finds out about any of this, close off all his access to your money. This probably sounds melodramatic, but the way he doesn’t care about being caught by you hints at scary stuff if he sees his easy money going away.
If you stay with this jerk, you would most definitely be the asshole.
Dump him now. It’s cheaper than what you will lose in the future.
NTA, but you should break up with him. Tell his mother if you want, but don’t expect her to be able to talk sense into him. He thinks your money is his money to do with as he pleases. He won’t change, and will get even worse if you marry him.
HE IS STEALING FROM YOU AND YOU’VE ALLOWED IT. WTF. Please girl for the love of god have some self respect and dump him and get him out of your accounts yesterday. wtf is his mommy going to do? This is a police matter.
Talk to his mom, see if she can get him to pay you back, then break up with him as soon as he does. In the meantime, cut off ALL his access to the business!
the mom is more than likely going to take his side and say not my son. Also dump him. He’s a loser and he’s using you.
YTA if you tell his mother.
This is between you and your adult (hopefully ex-) boyfriend. Not you and his mother. If asks you why you dumped him, tell her to ask him.
NTA unless you stay with this thief.
Hey I know who you could talk to about it–your local police. He’s stealing from you and then acting like he’s the victim. Get rid of him.
This feels like it has to be fake….
He steals from you and instead of breaking up with him and moving on with your life… Your solution is to call his mother??? Why are you not seeing this for what it is? He steals from you, you do not really do anything about it. So he knows there are no consequences and does it again.
Who cares if his mother talks sense into him. He has stolen from you more than once. Why would you even consider trusting him?
If your neighbors kids did something bad, you call their mom….
Why would you call the mom of another adult. It’s such a weird way of thinking.
Just tell him to stop stealing. Use words like an adult.
This must be a troll post.
Your boyfriend doesn’t respect you. Please understand that. You cannot reason with or explain something to someone who does not respect you. There is no talking sense into him, because he is a grown man that understands stealing from his girlfriend is wrong. He just doesn’t care, because he cares more about what he wants.
Break up with him, file charges against him for theft, and THEN tell his mom and everyone you know. The only thing you would have to be ashamed of is if you continue to cover up for this man. He is the wrong one here. Not you. Do not let him victimize you further because of embarrassment. I promise, handing him some consequences is going to feel much better.
Girl stop letting him step on you. Who cares about his Mom. Care about yourself. Kick him to the curb and change all your locks.
So he’s stealing from you and you’re here asking if you’re the AH instead of dumping him. Why? Drop him and move on. NTA.
NTA – Why does he have access to your business account, and why is it linked to his own account? Immediately remove his access to your business account.
In which universe would you be the TA?!? (Except to yourself)
He is stealing from you and you are letting him!
And telling on him with his mom?!
Call his mom?
Call your mom. Tell her you have been a fool for a man who lies and steals from you and treats you badly when caught and now aren’t sure how to get yourself out of the relationship.
NTA but this is a no-brainer. He’s not a worthy man so kick him out and move on.
Why did he have access to your business account????
Why or WHY are you being a doormat? He’s stealing from you…it’s time to cut ties and move on.
At best, BF is embezzling. At worst, BF is just a thief. Why are you with a dishonest man who steals from you?
He’s counting on you being embarrassed and ashamed to keep quiet. That’s what abusers do. He’s financially abusing you at the minimum. He’s working on shifting the blame so he can play victim. You are worried about embarrassing him or being disrespectful in “private matters.” That is his smokescreen so he can keep stealing from you. That is a lie. This is not a “private matter,” this is a very public matter he could go to jail for.
Kick this one to the curb. If he hasn’t repaid every cent, contact the police. He is playing mental games. He knows he is a thief and is manipulating you so he can continue.
NTA. (You will be one to yourself if you continue to tolerate a thief in your life.
He’s doing this because you are not saying anything.
You are an easy mark.
Of course tell his mother, but something tells me that might not go the way you want as people who steal and emotionally manipulate others have often been doing it for years. So it’s possible she already knows. That kind of co-dependent/ enabling behaviour is very common between mothers and their sons.
So that being the case, what will you do if she backs him and / or turns on you.
I think you’re better off removing his access to your money and better still breaking up with this person. You’re not even married yet and he’s treating you like this.
Run.
YTA – this man is stealing from you and you wanna call his mommy??? Pack his stuff up and dump him. Get a new bank account. Don’t leave money in your purse. Please get rid of him.
NTA. Why the hell are you still with him? There’s nothing to salvage here. He lies to you, He’s more interested in money than keeping his promises. If you stick with him, it’s more pain and suffering. This isn’t a normal “we’re just different people” thing. There’s no future with him.
You keep calling this guy your boyfriend. That probably should have stopped the first time. It definitely should stop this time. He’s shown you who he is.
Sorry about your breakup. You’ll find a good guy.
Again YTA to yourself for letting this dude embezzle from you. Fire him. Lock your business account. Freeze your credit. If he somehow does it again, call the cops and press charges for theft. If it’s above a certain dollar amount in your state, it’s a felony
YTA to yourself. Take the evidence to the police. End this relationship.
Why are you still in a relationship with a thief?
He is stealing and thinks it isn’t a big deal. The fact that you have to confront him tells me he had no intention of paying you back. So think about this. If stealing isn’t a big deal, cheating probably isn’t either. Get out now.
NTA but forget running to his mommy, just fire him, break up with him, kick him out, and close any accounts he has access to. He’s already proven he can’t be trusted and literally is stealing from you.
What the what?
Ex boyfriend. Ex. What??
Tell him mum. JFC. Just get him out your life my god
NTA.
Remove your boyfriend from having access to your accounts. He is abusing your trust at a minimum. How many times will he help himself before your business runs into financial trouble?
Time to cut off his access to your business. He has proven that he can’t be trusted.
You talk to the police about your EX BOYDRIEND stealing from your biz, and you kick him the f back to his parents house after telling them what he is doing.
Like WTF??
NTA
Why on earth are you dating someone who steals from you? Get some pride and dump him. Tell his mum, who cares, but get out of that relationship! NTA for telling, but god are you an AH to yourself for being in this relationship.
Locking him out of all your financial business would be better than going to his mom. How is he accessing your money? Put a stop to it. Do not buy a house with him. That would be setting yourself up for more problems. You don’t want to find out the hard way that he’s taken out a HELOC or second mortgage behind your back.
Why are you worried about talking sense into him? He sees you as lesser than himself and has used you, dismissed you and mistreated you for being upset about his own bad behavior. Parade of red flags. If you’re going to say anything to his mom it should be “come get your son!”
First of all, he’s STILL your boyfriend??? And you think this is all he’s capable of doing? This is only what you found out!!! How on earth do you think you can trust him? Fire him and when someone asks, simply say, “it’s not my story to tell . . . you’ll have to ask _______”
DO NOT let this man anywhere near your business in any capacity. Cut him off ASAP. He’s fundamentally dishonest. He’s lucky you haven’t called the cops. Remove him from the business and your life. He’s straight trash.
ESH. He’s an AH for stealing, but tattling to his mum makes no sense.
Cut off his access to your business’s accounts and consider not dating a thief and liar-by-omission.
You’re going to call his Mommy to tell her he’s being a bad boy? GeeeeezzzzzLouise!
Report him
YTA to yourself, your business, and your future for still being with this thieving liar and not calling the cops.
Call. The. Cops.
What? Why are you calling his mom instead of taking your cards and changing the numbers and breaking up with him? YWBTA if you stayed in this.
Call the cops. Fuck this shit, the relationship is over op, start the next process.
What your boyfriend is doing is called embezzlement. This is a crime. You should be leaving him and telling Everyone what he has done, as he can’t be trusted with money anywhere once he has done this.
He needs to be your ex. All accounts need him off.
NTA
Ma’am, with all due respect, you need to put your big girl britches on and handle your shit. You don’t need to run to his mommy. It’s your business. It’s your money. Remove his ass entirely from the equation. Cut him out of your business, your money, and your entire life. He stole from you sis! On more than one occasion. Would you allow anyone else to do that to you? Would you go crying to anyone else’s mommy to ask her to get their kid to stop stealing from you? JFC, NTA.
so let me get this straight.
Your 28yo boyfriend is stealing from you… And you haven’t dumped his ass and he is still your boyfriend???
I mean, if that’s the case then I think the answer here is obvious and no amount of telling his mommy is going to make a difference. What do you expect his mommy to do about it?
He is an adult. Why would you call his mom? How does he have access to this money
First, leave his mom out of it. Second, be careful. If his name is on the account, he has legal access and I am not sure you can call that embezzlement. Just like in a marriage, spouse is entitled to spend money in joint accounts if their name is on it. Just move your money ASAP into a new only YOU business account, do not close out old one and do NOT tell him in advance. Next step for ME would be making him an ex-BF but it’s your life. You deserve better.
Calling his mom sounds inappropriate to me. He’s an adult you are having a relationship with. Can you secure your money so he doesn’t have access to it? The bottom line is he still brushes you off after you’ve spoken to him several times. He has no respect for you. This can spread into other areas of your relationship where he won’t respect your boundaries.
Why are you still with him? It doesn’t make sense.
Sweetie he does not need to have any way of getting a hold of your money. Because he’s either keeping up another female or he has a drug addiction. Or he has a bad gambling but either way you’re going to get screwed in the end. And when you ask him about it and he gets so defensive I guarantee you he’s probably narcissistic. He’s not going to give two s**** about your feelings it’s all about him whether he’s happy he’s getting his way getting to do what he wants that as long as that’s good he’s happy-go-lucky and loves you but the minute it don’t he’s pissed off but sorry to say sweetie but you need to run and you need to run fast before y’all end up having kids and you’re stuck with him but good luck either way but if you stay with him I wouldn’t let him have such easy access to the business account and money but the bad part is you should act like he couldn’t have it and if he splits up with you he’s only in it for the money then and you’ll know. Just make sure you don’t interrupt your happiness trying to please him.
So, the person who should be your loyal trustworthy partner actively steals from you and you’re ok with that? Wow.
Why are you with him?? Why are u doing business with him? If u like getting robbed, yes stay with him. If you dont like getting robbed, break up and block him forever. Stop letting low value guys use you.
I’m not going to say anything about his behavior. It’s already been pounded home how F-d up this is in the comments. What I want to address, because I see my much younger self in you, is that you don’t need to make excuses for him. And you don’t owe him because he helped you start the business. You have every right to wake up in the morning and go to bed at night without your mind going around in circles trying to understand him while excusing away his behavior. You absolutely deserve better, even if you’re afraid right now. Fact is he won’t get better because he’s dismissive of you when you bring up concerns. That’s a character flaw. That’s gaslighting. Highly doubtful he will change. He’ll just start waking over you. He knows he shouldn’t have taken that money. Been there. I stayed 22 years. Please learn from my mistake and leave now.
He’s betting on your embarrassment overriding your outrage and keeping it all quiet.
Call the police and report the theft. End the relationship and the partnership. Change the passcodes on your financial accounts. Remove his name from everything to do with your business.
He doesn’t respect you and without respect there can be no love. You want someone do so all the confrontation for you and that’s not how adults do things.
Never let a boyfriend have access to your money, you shouldn’t have put him in your business, remove him and get rid of him! He refuses to get a 2nd job!!!! But wants to buy a house with you?! Don’t do it he’s using you
Imagine yourself dealing with this behavior for the rest of your life. He takes without asking and tried to make you feel bad for calling him out. Not a good relationship tactic. Next time, maybe he doesn’t pay you back. This is your business. You need receipts. Absolutely handle this yourself, you are a grown woman with a business, FFS
Your boyfriend is a thief who feels entitled to what you own. Make him an ex-boyfriend.
Why does he still have access to the money? Why is a man who steals from you still your boyfriend? NTA
Tell everyone and get the courage to leave this abusive asshole.
Forget about his mom, what you really need to do is dump this guy yesterday. And take him off your accounts!
How do you have your business account set up? Is he a signatory on the account and it is one signature to authorise Payments? If so you need to change the mandate so he can’t authorise a payment or transfer alone or remove him altogether from the account because technically/legally if he is named on it – it is not stealing as he would have the same right to the money in the account as you do sadly
I agree with all comments that he is a walking red flag but you need to look after your own interests as he has shown that a verbal agreement between you cannot be trusted on his part
Look at how your business is set up – the bank account and the actual business set up itself (are you limited with him as director-etc) and take some advice to make sure it is set up for your needs. Open a new account that you are sole signatory on and move your money to it whilst you can
By all means shout him out to his mum but that will not protect your assets so do that first. Do you want a business account with someone you do not trust – let Alone build a life with that person?
It may sound harsh and I really don’t mean to be so but you do need to protect yourself legally and then decide your future options. Shouting him out to his mother at this stage does not benefit you until you have your ducks in a row – then by all means blast him to anyone who will listen but a few sharp words from his mother now (if she even decides to have a word with him) does not guarantee any change on his part and honestly the fact you have posted this likely means you have lost trust in him so I am unsure how that would be rebuilt
Info: How is he able to access your business account?
YTA if you gave to hotel his mom. He’s the total AH. Stop staying quiet to keep the peace. He’s not giving you any peace by being intentionally sneaky about YOUR money.
Setup a different account right now for your business and do not add him to the account. You’re a business owner, so step up and do not allow yourself to be cheated or stolen from.
Don’t call his mom.
As an adult you press charges for theft and leave his thieving butt.
ESH. You both need to grow up.
Demand repayment , shame him to his mother , cut ties pronto.
YTA for letting this man walk all over you. You should’ve dumped him the first time he stole from you! And even if he had money trouble, you don’t steal, you ask.
what your bf is doing is fraudent activity and he treats u the way he does becuase he knows he can becuase u behave like a doormat putting up with that. call the bank or go into the bank and remove his name on stuff and that if something happens again for the bank to call you and and u call the police.
you’re making way too many excuses for him, like his mother didn’t raise him well and thank goodness he paid it back at least! either fire him and break it off or threaten to get the police involved, don’t ruin your business over some dude
Get some therapy so you can learn to respect yourself. Break up with the guy that is stealing your money. YTA. Don’t call his mommy, get a backbone.
Time to break up. He’s a thief.
He is stealing.
Wake up, OP
No, you’re not. We would have had a conversation about his boy. Having been around for a long while,
I’ve seen a lot of Shinola.
I’ve often been in bad company. I’ve BEEN bad company. I’ve been on both sides of the street, and I much prefer the side I’m on now.
Instead of relying on the kindness of strangers, I can now help out some of the beggars on the street.
You’re right to stay on top of the game. I think junior may be doing or dealing dope. I don’t think you need to call the cops, but you need to separate yourself from junior.
If that means losing your boyfriend, you lose your boyfriend. You don’t want to be anywhere near either of them.
Watching people descend into the madness of the drug life is sickening and heartbreaking. They waste a lot of time and money
Some folks manage to recover, but damn few of them hit a year of sobriety, much less long term sobriety. When I go to meetings, I have been sober longer than most of them have been alive. Sometimes their parents.
I listen a lot. If I think it will help, I’ll speak up, but not as often as I used to.
Good luck, darlin. It’s going to be a wild ride.
Go to Alanon. It’s a group of people who love a drunk and want to live a bit better than they have. Get phone numbers and use them. Go for coffee after meeting. Make friends.
Someone was kind and gentle and generous to every one in the room. If you stick around, you will get your turn. You will be able to share your experience, strength, and hope.
I thought maybe I should anonymize this comment, but there may be others who need to read it.
He’s 28, wtf is his mom gonna do? Why are you with a disrespectful thief still? The bar is so low jfc
ESH-
You are presumably a grown up, running to him mom and expecting that to go well after he has already dismissed you on this matter is the definition of insanity.
He needs to be your ex boyfriend. He does it once shame on him, he does it twice, shame on you
Why is this person who is stealing from you called a boyfriend?
You need to keep him away from your business. You cannot run a business that way. If he won’t or you can’t, you need to get rid of him. If he lies about this, what else does he lie about? Other women? You seem like a good person and he’s a complete wanker and you need to leave him behind before he causes so much damage you no longer have a business.
You want to call his mom?
Hi, this is a mom, not his mom, why do you want to stay with a thief who is committing embezzlement! I would tell you to kick his butt out!
That’s what that is! It’s illegal! Taking company funds to use for personal use, even when you pay it back is still illegal. What if this were clients money? That will get you into tax trouble.
From a mom, get yourself into therapy and the only reason you should call his mom is because you’re kicking him out of the house and she needs to get his bags.
There are two famous women who had husbands who stole from them, Kelly Clarkson and Kathy Griffin.
Do not let this man be in your life, please find your dignity and anger.
Tell his mom on him? Come on now. You’re an adult, handle your business.
Get up off the floor and quit being a doormat BEFORE he ruins your business! ESH.
That he returned the money is not relevant to the issue. The issue is the theft. It reflects serious character flaws in your boyfriend. As well, it reflects an entitlement behavior that YOU. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. LIVE. WITH.
Continue doing everything you can to inoculate yourself and your business from him. And accept this as the MAJOR life lesson it is.
You’ve allowed him to set a precedent and that can matter in a court of law if he escalates. Nip this in the bud immediately! Preferably in writing so you can use it in court if it ever comes to that. You need to set boundaries immediately!
OP, please, please, please find a therapist. Don’t stop until you find one you click with because you are going to need professional support to work through this.
You deserve so much better than this. The only way to do that is to love yourself. Therapy helps with learning how to do that while navigating life.
Please be safe! When (hopefully) you do leave him, hope for the best but please prepare for the worst. You said in another comment that he’s been fired. And as you separate from him further, he’s going to see his world crashing in. While that is NOT your fault (consequences of his actions), he may not see it as such.
NTA, but remove all his access to any of your business or personal accounts. Do not let him know any passwords. Do not let him have any money. If he helps start paying him an hourly rate, not half your business profits, or he will own half your business.
Why are you still with him? His actions are criminal. While not the worst, you shouldn’t be trying to build a future with someone that you cannot trust. Does he have any underlying addictions that you may not be aware of? Why is he borrowing the money? Ask him for receipts. Let him know that the money needs to be replaced immediately or you will report him to the proper authorities and he will lose all access to you and your business funds.
Why does he have access to your money/accounts? Nip that in the bud and find a new man!
Christ on a bicycle, was this written by a 5 year old?
You are not TA. Your boyfriend has a problem. He is 28 and you have let him know you are not okay with this, but he has continued to take your money and shows no remorse. He is a man, what is telling his mom going to accomplish. He isn’t going to change. You need to move on and find someone who is trustworthy and not a user. If he was an employee at your business and you discovered him stealing, what would you do? I hope fire him is your answer. Now someone you thought was your partner, is stealing and showing no remorse, sneaking around and being dismissive. I wonder if he has a substance, gambling or side chick that is draining his wallet. I am old enough to be your grandma. Believe me that it will be much easier for you to do this NOW and dump him, that if you get deeper into him controlling you and it’s a few years from now and he has just used you and probably done more financial and emotional damage. If you don’t have a friend or relative you can talk to, go see a therapist that can help you navigate your way out of this.
He stole from you and you want to talk to his mom. He is a grown man, leave his ass!
Ditch this dude. He’s using you as some type of credit card he can rely on. You are a successful woman that doesn’t need this loser. One day he might not pay you back. A real man wouldn’t put you in that situation . Or at the very least would never STEAL. it doesn’t matter if he pays you back it’s still stealing in my eyes.
NTA
Call the cops, too, and ditch the thief
If this is real then NTA except to yourself and if you go to his Mom. Steps to take instead – Remove his access to your money IMMEDIATELY, break up with him right after you remove his access, CALL the police and try to get charges pressed against him for being a thief. Walk away, protect yourself!!
Why are you with him? As time goes on, he’ll take more and stop paying it back. Give your head a shake. If an employee did this, you’d fire them on the spot.
ESH.
For heaven’s sake, your “boyfriend” is a THIEF and you don’t get it. If he is taking money from your small business without specific permission, IN WRITING, that is actually called “kiting” which is illegal. It’s taking money and hoping to pay it back prior to it being noticed. I know about this, as an accountant.
This isn’t his mother’s problem, and he is an adult. But so are you.
BREAK UP WITH THIS THIEF. Why on earth would you be with someone like this?
He is 28 damn years old. Tell his mother? He probably steals from her too.
Why are you with a thief?
i refuse to believe this is real??? lock him out of the account? stop working with him? he keeps stealing from you and instead of going to the police you want to tell his mom!?!!???
The first time it happened you should have reported him to the police and press charges. That should have been the end of it except for you pressing charges and certainly the end for the relationship. He’s dishonest, he stole from you.. what more do you need to know? But of course you should tell his mother also.. after you’ve done those other things.
I’d tell him to give back my money within the hour, or I’ll report him to the police. This is not a bf, it’s a loser thief and he is using you. He will not change, but will get better at hiding it. Break up if you care for a life without self inflicted financial problems!
Why does he have access to your business account? When you can’t make tax payments or bill payments this is going to bite you badly.
It’s wild to me that you haven’t broken up / called the police. What exactly is his mum supposed to do? 🤔
you let it go to keep the peace? Do you think he will change for you? where do you feel in your heart you want this to go–he is stealing from you..
And you want to buy a house with this guy? Big nope. You are not married to him (thankfully). Do not commingle anything financially with him. Get away. This relationship will not end well.
NTA, I would suggest filing a police report, but how does he even have the ability to take the money without first asking you? You need to take action to make that impossible.
Tell him that he is stealing from you. Remove him from your business. Tell him that if he steals from you again, you will be filing charges. He’s not bf material. He’s just a thief. It doesn’t matter if he repays you or not, this is a HUGE red flag. You don’t need him in your life, honestly. Do NOT talk to him about buying a house, you know 100% that he won’t pay his fair share. He treats you the way he does, making you feel embarrassed, because he knows he can manipulate you and keep you from causing him problems. And if you DO cause him problems, he will just drop you. Oh, and it’s ok for him to embarrass you, but you can’t embarrass him? Nope…
Yes, he looks like fine boyfriend material. Hello Red Flag Alert!!!
Wtf am I reading here. Your ex-boyfriend (see, I can predict the future) is a thief, liar and gaslighter. If you stay with him, you will get what you deserve (and more bad stuff). Wait u til he messes with your birth control to get you to stay.
NTA He’s a major red flag. If he’s ignoring your boundaries and stealing your work money without permission, it’s grounds to leave him. He is STEALING from you. Major disrespect. Make sure he pays you back everything he’s taken and leave his butt.
Why are you with someone who continues to steal from you? Fool you once shame on him, fool you many times over shame on you.
Leave this guy. He’s stealing from you, gaslighting you regarding stealing from you and even conned you into a profit share situation.
He’s not there for you, he’s there because you are his ATM
ESH
Why are you with someone who continues to steal from you? Fool you once shame on him, fool you many times over shame on you.
Leave this guy. He’s stealing from you, gaslighting you regarding stealing from you and even conned you into a profit share situation.
He’s not there for you, he’s there because you are his ATM
ESH
Why does he even have access to your business accounts/money? And this guy should be your ex, and should’ve been after the first time he STOLE from you!!!
YTA for staying with him and allowing him access to your $. Cut off his access, break up, and get the hell away from him. And yes, tell his mom.
Change your accounts and protect them so he has no access to them.
Break up.
Forget calling his mom. Call the police, your boyfriend stole from you. Break up with him and move on.
NTA but why are you wanting to run to his mommy to tattle-tale? Fire him, dump him, and report him to the police 🤦♀️
So, is calling the police not an option or…
What the hell could his mother possibly say, that’ll stop him from being a thief?
“How dare you steal from, Op?! Go give her a big hug, and a back rub, and promise to be a good boy from now on. Mommy loves you. Are you still coming over for Sunday dinner?”
Girl press charges, and get your money back.
Also, why the hell is he still your boyfriend?
Do you wanna get robbed again? Like it sounds like you’re not taking this seriously, and are comfortable being a doormat to someone who’s fundamentally messed up, and doesn’t care about you.
Being single isn’t bad, and it’s certainly better than lying with someone you can’t even trust.
Get a backbone, and some self love babes
YTA to yourself, if you don’t call the cops on him
This was written by a 13 year old.
Is there a lack of males where you live that this is your only option ? IF A MAN CAN’T SUPPORT HIMSELF AND SHOW YOU HE IS A PROVIDER DO NOT DATE HIM PERIOD
Calling his mother isn’t even the point , stop being a codependent broken wing fixer if you want to be a business owner. If you want to look for people to fix , go be a social worker
You’re not his girlfriend, you’re the mark. He’s just using you. Let him go.
Report him do not tell anyone else just go report him