I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over a year. We’re basically living together, we spend almost every day together, have a dog, travel, spoil each other, and honestly he feels like my best friend. On the surface our relationship is amazing .. our sex life is great, we laugh, we’ve talked seriously about our future and settling down.
While using his iPad to study, I opened his email out of curiosity and found an Apple receipt from August showing almost $40 in purchases for dating apps (including a monthly subscription that ended in September)
I’m devastated. Just days ago, he told me we were on the same page about settling down. I can’t even look at him without tearing up. I’ve been focused on studying to better my career and building our future, and I thought we were aligned.
Part of me wants to just grab my things and leave without another word. But another part of me is questioning: is he playing me in my face, or is this just some kind of “curiosity” thing men do?
I know nobody is perfect, but this really shattered me. I thought we were both locked in and building something real.
Im not egotistical, but I’m a respectable, confident, pretty, curvy, I have denied so many men for this man because I believe in karma and quite frankly I don’t have eyes for anybody else ..
this truly sucks, what would yall do
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No this is not a normal thing men in a relationship do. Why are you trying to justify his behavior. You caught him red-handed
Hala madrid
It’s not a normal thing. You caught him, why are you trying to defend him? It is exactly what you’re doing when you’re trying to justify it for him.
Hear him out. Use it as an opportunity to understand him better. Deepen your connection and communication. Build intimacy through this. If you don’t know how to then talk to a couples counselor to understand what happened. That’s what I’d do if I loved him. Showing compassion and curiosity is love. And if he doesn’t want to put in the effort to communicate about this openly with you then I’d call it because partnerships aren’t perfect but if he isn’t able to put in the time in a real and vulnerable way then how do you move forward? Best of luck with whatever you choose
be free little one
I think there are a lot of guys who enjoy verbal flirting, emotional connections, etc with someone else. They still like you a lot and want to be with you but they seem to crave that attention from other people as well
In their mind they didn’t get physical so they keep rationalizing that they can talk to someone else, even in flirtatious ways.
Of course when they get confronted then they’ll say something like , oh I didn’t know that was cheating
I would definitely have a conversation about it, but the truth is that even if he didn’t go on any dates he was checking if there was someone better out there & that’s all you need to know. Your person, will choose you & they will be certain. They will definitely not need to go on dating apps to check that.
Is it possible these were from a year ago and just automatically renewed? Hence cancelling it in September when he realized it was still active?
I didn’t see the receipts, so I can’t say. I would ask him. His response should tell you everything. I would also look through his phone first to see if there is any damning evidence.
Don’t jump me but just asking. Did you guys meet on an app by chance??
Could these be subscriptions from a while that he’s not cancelled? Like forgetting to cancel after the free trial type stuff.
if you met somewhere else disregard.
It took my partner months and months to be able to end his subscriptions when we met and it was so convoluted!
Ask him!
What did he say when you asked him?
updateme
Does he have a family subscription plan for Apple that he shares with his siblings (if he has any) or if his friends are part of the plan? The receipts goes to the main holder of the Apple plan. I would talk to him and leave if you don’t like his answer
Girl…he’s playing in your face. A man who really loved you wouldn’t be on dating apps entertaining the idea of being with someone else. Ik that’s not what you wanna hear, but don’t be giving fully adult grown men excuses.
Is it possible he has them on auto renew and forgot? I forgot about my Grindr subscription for an embarrassingly long time after my now-husband and I started dating exclusively, even though I never opened it. (I had already deleted the app from my phone though)