I’m a 19F college student and have been close friends with an 18M classmate since our first year. We became seatmates in some classes and naturally got along well. When I met him, he was already in a committed 2-year relationship with his girlfriend (20F) since high school. Their relationship was admired by many, and I supported it wholeheartedly—I even helped him pick out gifts and complimented how sweet they were.
Some of my friends would joke that we had chemistry and said things like, “He’d date you if he wasn’t taken,” but I brushed it off. I respected their relationship and never saw him as more than a friend.
Earlier this year, they broke up unexpectedly after frequent arguments and differences in views. The breakup was rough and ended badly. About six weeks later, he started acting more affectionate and attentive toward me—initiating conversations, complimenting me, doing little physical gestures (like cheek pinching or expressing concern when I got hurt), and even dressing in ways I’d once mentioned I liked.
I assumed he was just opening up more, but people around us began pointing out that it seemed like he liked me. I started noticing the signs too—he even asked about my type and hinted at wanting to ask me out.
Now, I’m confused. He’s kind, attractive, and makes me feel seen. I do catch feelings easily, but I also lose interest quickly. I’m unsure if I like him back or if it’s just the attention. And part of me feels guilty or worried about how others would view this—like I was “waiting around” for them to break up, even though I wasn’t.
So now I’m torn. Do I keep things as friends? What if he formally asks me out? How do I know if he genuinely likes me or is just rebounding?
Questions:
What should I do if he asks me out?
How can I tell if he’s serious or just on the rebound?
Is it normal to feel this confused and even guilty for catching feelings?
TL;DR:
I (19F) have been close friends with an 18M classmate who recently ended a long-term relationship. He’s been acting more affectionate and possibly showing signs of interest in me. I’m confused about whether he genuinely likes me or if I might just be a rebound. I feel unsure and a bit guilty for even catching feelings. What should I do if he asks me out, and how do I know if he’s serious?