I just recently got my first gf as a 23yo, we have had sex twice (I was a virgin before this) and I couldn’t finish either time. Is this normal? It really did not feel that good at all, one was with a condom and one was not. I have finished from the bjs she’s given me but sex just doesn’t feel that good and it bothers me because I know she feels bad about it even though it’s not her fault. Any advice? I’ve struggled with confidence so idk if that has something to do with it? Please any suggestions would help.
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More foreplay and don’t masturbate.
You could try more foreplay beforehand, try different positions, trying getting a bj and not finishing before having sex, incorporate toys, experiment with different kinks or role plays. I don’t think that’s abnormal for your first couple of times.
It could be that you’re just rushing it 🌸
Maybe slow down and enjoy foreplay beforehand.
Your brain is the largest sexual organ you have.
Are you sure you’re into her and not just trying to brainwash yourself into liking her since she’s the first and/or only one?
And being self-conscious and/or embarrassed can definitely ruin your excitement. If you’re too in your own head, it can cause that. I know cuz it sometimes happens to me. It’s like the anxiety about not being able to finish and the embarrassment and confrontation that follows will cause me to not be able to finish.
Get out of your head.Just enjoy the foreplay and let nature take its course. Cause it sounds like to me your wanting to make sure you do everything right.STOP relax and enjoy each other
Have you considered you may be placing too much expectations on yourself?
It can also be caused by anxiety. The goal of sex is not to finish. The goal is emotional intimacy. Finishing is not a definition of normalcy, emotional intimacy is.
Trust is another, if you have abuse in your childhood, any self worth issues they can definitely interfere with it.
Vulnerability, trust and emotional safety are essential for me to even be turned on otherwise it is just mechanical and very unsatisfying.
Don’t watch porn and reduce masturbation. The more you are into her which takes all those things I mentioned the more turned on you will be. At least this is how I am, and it has the name Demisexuality.
You are completely normal. Don’t let any woman, man or societal bullshit talk you out of that!!
You kind of screwed yourself. U mentioned “death grip” in the comments and if you have been jacking off too much squeezing your Jimmy too hard. If you already quit doing that for 3 weeks already there’s not much else you can do. Unless your girlfriend is loose AF and you can park a Mac truck inside there. In that case nothing is going to work. I know this isnt the advice you wanted but it’s the situation u put yourself in by jacking off too hard and squeezing that shit till it turns blue. Maybe have her jack u off? Or get real drunk and try anal?
Riding bareback is the only way for me.. Lol. What DOES it feel like to you? When I was first starting to have sex, which btw I lost my virginity at 23 just like you, I had trouble finding what’s pleasurable. For example, I feel very little sensation fucking girls doggy style. My junk is pretty big too. So I can’t do doggy for very long. Missionary is my fave. Maybe try this, in missionary with your d in her, try to lean back and sit your ass on your folded legs, try to get down below her vagina hole and thrust upwards. This is great for sensation because the tip of your d will be plowing into her g spot, which is pretty firm and unmovable. Try to go all the way in til you touch the back (cervix), slowly move in and out at depth. It’s also nice to slowly go in and out with the the tip, bottom out every few thrusts to give her a shock. Lol.
Ask her to grip down on your d as you thrust outwards. She relaxes on the way in, tries to hold on for dear life as you pull out. Try to feel her gripping.
Do you think it’s partially because you are still getting comfortable with sex? It makes you a lil bit nervous? Especially now that you failed to climax the first two times. I was too nervous to finish, too anxious to even get hard the first time or two I had sex. I knew it was a problem I had to fix quickly. I went to the doctor and ask for cialis. That worked. Having cialis supporting your erection is a dream – it allows you the flexibility to lose your focus, try different positions, different angles, fuck at an angle / rhythm that’s driving her crazy & not worry about a lack of sensation.
The sensation of sex is totally different than masterbation. It’s way less pressure than our hand grip. It requires slowing down a lot at first, and building things up slowly enough for you to maintain your feelings of pleasure.
Having the girl sit on two thick pillows is nice for creating that up down angle that’s gonna beat her g spot up. It’s also really comfortable to fuck off the edge of a bed. Where you’re standing up.
It’s also key that you don’t let your concern over her pleasure make you lose your train of thought towards orgasm. Maintain your train of thoughts, especially if you’re close to orgasm. Think about things that excite you, think of the shape of her pussy as you dunk in and out, it’s cool, pushing all the way in will cause the pussy lips to kinda bulge out. It’s hot thinking of how she’s letting you inside of her physical body, her most special place. A beautiful wet rose you get to push into
At least you can cum from head, I can’t do that. Never done it. Lol. But totally get the cialis, it’ll be the jump start you need
Sex gets better with experience
If she’s comfortable with it, a finger in the prostate will likely do the trick. If she’s not keen with stinky pinky, then try inserting anal beads or a small vibrator yourself.
Oof. Lotta things it could be. Do the bjs take a long time? If not, then it’s something with her body or your head. Sometimes the cooter is trash, sometimes you’re just worrying about it too much.
If the bjs do take a while, then it can still be in your head, but could be your body too. If you been jerkin it with no lube and tight grip, you have to completely restart learning your body and avoid desensitizing it again.
I hate to say it but if you didn’t feel much you might be incompatible together ummm in terms of the relative sizes. Try different positions though – sometimes you can find one that works well