I own and live in a house which has a separate second portion with its private entrance (essentially a full suite). I rent out this portion of the house to a single mother with two girls (aged 16 and 6). I go above and beyond in helping them in issues not even related to being my tenant such as fixing their car when it broke down, sharing my tools when they ask, etc. So the family knows me well as I often have to help them with all kinds of stuff and I generally don’t mind doing so just to be a good landlord and human being.
The 16 year old daughter has a habit of forgetting her keys and locking herself out. Almost weekly, sometimes several times a week (this has been going on for months). When this happens, she will ring our door to ask us to open her suite door (as I have a set of keys). I work from home so initially I would open the door for her even if I was busy in meetings as I didn’t want her to wait outside (especially in winter). And certain times I couldn’t open the door right away, I asked her to wait inside where it’s warm as I finish my meeting and then I’ll open the door for her (usually the wait was no more than 15 minutes).
I did let her mother know that she has been coming frequently and that sometimes it’s difficult to help her because i’m in the middle of work and I can’t just leave it at a moment’s notice. Her mother acknowledged it and said she’ll try to ensure her 16 year old daughter doesn’t forget her keys so often.
Now my assumption was that since I’ve been helping the family so much and we literally live right next to each other that I’m not just random stranger to all of them. To my surprise, I found the 16 year old daughter will completely ignore me as if I don’t exist if she’s passing by and I’m working outside in the yard. I’ll look at her to say hi and she will not even look at me as if I don’t exist. This happened several times where I would try and say hi as she’s passing by and she wouldn’t even acknowledge me…….until the next time she forgets her keys, then she will come and smile and be really nice to me.
So yesterday when she forget her key (as usual) and came to my door to ask for my assistance, I simply refused to answer the door as I was working and plus I figured if she’s going to ignore me unless she needs something from me, I don’t have to go out of my way to help her.
As a result, she was locked outside for a few hours until her mother came home from work and let her in. AITAH for not continuing to go out of my way to help her when she’s made a habit of locking herself out and completely ignores me unless she needs something from me?
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I own and live in a house which has a separate second portion with its private entrance (essentially a full suite). I rent out this portion of the house to a single mother with two girls (aged 16 and 6). I go above and beyond in helping them in issues not even related to being my tenant such as fixing their car when it broke down, sharing my tools when they ask, etc. So the family knows me well as I often have to help them with all kinds of stuff and I generally don’t mind doing so just to be a good landlord and human being.
The 16 year old daughter has a habit of forgetting her keys and locking herself out. Almost weekly, sometimes several times a week (this has been going on for months). When this happens, she will ring our door to ask us to open her suite door (as I have a set of keys). I work from home so initially I would open the door for her even if I was busy in meetings as I didn’t want her to wait outside (especially in winter). And certain times I couldn’t open the door right away, I asked her to wait inside where it’s warm as I finish my meeting and then I’ll open the door for her (usually the wait was no more than 15 minutes).
I did let her mother know that she has been coming frequently and that sometimes it’s difficult to help her because i’m in the middle of work and I can’t just leave it at a moment’s notice. Her mother acknowledged it and said she’ll try to ensure her 16 year old daughter doesn’t forget her keys so often.
Now my assumption was that since I’ve been helping the family so much and we literally live right next to each other that I’m not just random stranger to all of them. To my surprise, I found the 16 year old daughter will completely ignore me as if I don’t exist if she’s passing by and I’m working outside in the yard. I’ll look at her to say hi and she will not even look at me as if I don’t exist. This happened several times where I would try and say hi as she’s passing by and she wouldn’t even acknowledge me…….until the next time she forgets her keys, then she will come and smile and be really nice to me.
So yesterday when she forget her key (as usual) and came to my door to ask for my assistance, I simply refused to answer the door as I was working and plus I figured if she’s going to ignore me unless she needs something from me, I don’t have to go out of my way to help her.
As a result, she was locked outside for a few hours until her mother came home from work and let her in. AITAH for not continuing to go out of my way to help her when she’s made a habit of locking herself out and completely ignores me unless she needs something from me?
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> my action of not helping the tenant’s daughter into her house and letting her stay outside for hours
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Clearly, her mother isn’t doing very much to ensure that she doesn’t keep forgetting her keys. Sometimes natural consequences are the best ones.
NTA. You have been enabling the daughter. But now you have taught the daughter to always remember her keys. Good work!
You have also learned a valuable lesson. And that is that lectures do not change behavior. Consequences change behavior.
Does she have earbuds in and not hear you?
NTA. Give the mom your permission to install a number pad lock on their door (at their expense) but let her know you aren’t always available.
She probably just has ear buds in and cant hear you
NTA Your tenant’s daughter is sixteen, she’s too old to repeatedly forget her keys. Regardless of her behavior towards you, her “forgetfulness” is becoming a nuisance and is disrupting your workday. You did her a favor by making her wait until her mother returned home to let her in because now she understands fully the consequences of forgetting her keys.
NTA… helping doesn’t mean being taken for granted. If she can’t show basic respect, she can learn to take basic responsibility
As long as the weather wasn’t dangerously cold/hot or torrential rain, then the girl is only inconvenienced. She’s not five, and holding onto a set of keys shouldn’t be a big ask. NTA
One solution might be to get a lock that uses a passcode instead of keys. Then she can let herself in whenever.
I know the teenage rudeness can be irksome, but as the adult you should try not to take it personally.
NTA.
NTA
Change the lock.
Install one that either needs a key to lock from the outside, so that she HAS to have her key with her to lock the door, or as another commenter said, give them permission to install a number keypad lock so that they do not need a key and only have to enter a number in the pad to unlock the door.
If you are male I sure as hell wouldn’t be letting a teenage girl into my home when it was just the two of us.
Get cameras and protect yourself.
Once false allegation could ruin your life.
Yta, it’s expected as a landlord that you’ll have to open the door for the tenant if they forget their key. However, you should charge a fee each time you do it
NTA, but stop fostering bad behaviour.
Wherever the 16yo was before she knocked on your door, she can go back to that place to wait for her mother to deal with her. She used her two legs to get herself to the house, so she can use them to walk away from it.
When you stop making this your problem, and make it the mother’s problem, it will solve itself.
Don’t answer the door.
dude shes 16, teens arent exactly know for veing responsive to adults in public. I’m a girlguide leader and when I see ine of my older girls j ignore them unless they acknowledge me first especiallyif they are with freinds. and to that ear phone and possibly not hearing you.
NTA, it is past time for this girl to learn responsibility. I would not answer the door for her again. You’ve addressed this with her mother and it’s time for MOM to be a parent.
NTA. Tell them that from now one you will be charging a $50 fee every time you need to go and unlock their home.
Where I live, property managers charge fees for doing this (and the tenant will normally be require to go collect the spare key and then return it themselves). It deters tenants from nuisance requests due to their own lack of planning.
This seems like a very round about way of communicating to her that it bothers you that she walks by without acknowledging you. I don’t think you are a a-h for deciding to stop letting her in (she’ll never break her habit otherwise.) But you are leaning a bit A-H for doing it out of spite to teach her a lesson. Will she get the lesson? Probably not. She’s not going to connect her walking by without saying hi to you not answering the door. And think of how creepy it would be if you said, “Can’t you just smile when you walk by?” She’s just trying to get home.
Why not just install a code lock for their front door?
I as a landlord installed a coded lock as my tenants kept locking themselves out of the house.
NTA
Daughter is old enough to remember her own keys, and is being manipulative and rude.
At this point, I’d advise the tenant you will not be providing her access without a penalty fee unless it’s an emergency.
Punishing a teenager by acting like the teenager in question is a bit of an ah move but ynta for not acting as her personal doorman. She won’t stop forgetting her keys until there’s consequences. Why don’t you suggest they get a key safe?
NTA. She doesn’t even try to rectify her problem and she’s been rude and ungrateful. She’s spoiled.
NTA… maybe she’ll learn to remember her keys. And to speak for ffs
Its your “job” as landlord to open the door lol. They are your tenants not your friends, yes she might have been rude but that barely matters. You could’ve opened the door when you were done with the meeting.