I (24m) think I’m falling out of love with my fiancé (23f)

We’ve been together for 7 years, after high school she moved to her dream college. As she completed I left our home state and moved in with her. We’ve now lived together for three years. When we first moved in together we had also spoke about opening up our relationship to experiment and we were both pretty excited since we were each others first. She had a person right away who she kissed a few times, but since I was somewhere new I didn’t really know anyone. I didn’t mind and thought it was fun. Around this time we had a pretty bad fight where she told me she didn’t love me the same way as she did when we were younger. This broke my heart because the way I loved her never changed. This led to months of fighting and the couch being my bed. During this time if she wanted to have him over she would, without asking, and I’d sleep upstairs while they slept downstairs. I don’t think they ever did anything, and I think she mostly needed someone to vent to, but I never slept easy those nights, despite having to wake up early to go to works After a while we reconciled but I’ve never gotten that fight, her words, and some of her actions, out of my head.

Our sex life has never been great, my sex drive was higher than hers and whenever we did have sex she never finished and usually the night would end in an upsetting way. I resorted to taking care of it myself like a little kid and not bothering her about it. Every once in a while I’d ask her for it but it would never happen, or would end in disappointment. When we were fighting she told me I had to see a therapist for my issues and she had to see one for her issues, I went to mine, but she’s never gone to see one for hers. I’ve reminded her a few times but it always ends in tears which makes me not want to talk about it. I’d always make jokes that if she didn’t take advantage of it then then by the time she wanted to I wouldn’t be able to perform. Well this month we had a big discussion again about our sex life and I told her how she’s never made me feel like she was attracted to me, it’s always felt like she loved me, which I don’t doubt, but she’s never been physically attracted to me. We ended up talking and I’ve seen her trying more lately, asking if I want to have sex, but for the first time ever I’m not getting hard. And this is from a person that if I got touched the wrong way would get hard. It’s really made me self conscious and I can tell it’s affecting her when we want to be intimate.

There’s other things, like how for the longest time I did all the chores and had to remind her that we had to clean the apartment like her parents, and how she’d get mad at me about this. Now I don’t clean and she gets upset and has to remind me to clean because she does most of it. And just personality differences.

I love her, to the point where at the beginning of this year I proposed and we’ve (she) has been wedding planning, we have a venue and a date and guest list and everything and this is her dream, but this isn’t really the type of wedding I wanted. My heart hurts, because I know I love her, I’ve been trying so hard to love her, but even she can tell things are different. She keeps asking me if I still love her, and I say yes but it’s felt so heavy lately and like I’m lying and it breaks my heart because I’ve shared my whole adult life with her. I don’t know what to do. I know she loves me, she does everything to show me that, but a part of me feels like it’s a little too late.

TL:DR: I’ve been with my fiancé for 7 years, never really felt like she was sexually attracted to me, I brought it up a few times, and now that I brought it up last month she finally decided to start trying, but now I can’t get hard to her and it’s made both of us self conscious. I love her a lot, and I know she loves me, but part of me feels like im losing that love.