I (25F) am moving into a $2400/month rental with my cousin (34F). We’re splitting rent 50/50.
The layout:
• Downstairs: Large master suite with walk-in closet and big private bathroom.
• Upstairs: 3 smaller bedrooms, a bathroom, and a loft.
We agreed she’d have the master and I’d use the 3 upstairs bedrooms, and we’d share the loft as a content room (we both film videos). That felt fair since she gets luxury + privacy, and I get more but smaller rooms.
I planned: one room for sleeping, one for my WFH office, and one for vanity/storage since I don’t have a walk-in closet.
But now she’s pushing back:
• Said the loft shouldn’t have a TV (after she suggested moving couches there) because then it’s “not a content room.”
• Said maybe the content room should be one of my bedrooms.
• Wants to use the loft for her product storage.
• Made snarky comments like, “what are you even gonna do with three rooms anyway?” which made me feel like she was trying to guilt me out of them.
I even offered to swap so she could take the upstairs bedrooms and I’d take the master, but she refused because the master bath is larger.
Now I feel like she’s keeping her whole suite untouched while carving into my half, and we’re both paying $1200.
AITA for insisting on keeping all 3 bedrooms for myself while keeping the loft shared for content, or am I being greedy like she implies?
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I (25F) am moving into a $2400/month rental with my cousin (34F). We’re splitting rent 50/50.
The layout:
• Downstairs: Large master suite with walk-in closet and big private bathroom.
• Upstairs: 3 smaller bedrooms, a bathroom, and a loft.
We agreed she’d have the master and I’d use the 3 upstairs bedrooms, and we’d share the loft as a content room (we both film videos). That felt fair since she gets luxury + privacy, and I get more but smaller rooms.
I planned: one room for sleeping, one for my WFH office, and one for vanity/storage since I don’t have a walk-in closet.
But now she’s pushing back:
• Said the loft shouldn’t have a TV (after she suggested moving couches there) because then it’s “not a content room.”
• Said maybe the content room should be one of my bedrooms.
• Wants to use the loft for her product storage.
• Made snarky comments like, “what are you even gonna do with three rooms anyway?” which made me feel like she was trying to guilt me out of them.
I even offered to swap so she could take the upstairs bedrooms and I’d take the master, but she refused because the master bath is larger.
Now I feel like she’s keeping her whole suite untouched while carving into my half, and we’re both paying $1200.
AITA for insisting on keeping all 3 bedrooms for myself while keeping the loft shared for content, or am I being greedy like she implies?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I’m insisting on keeping all 3 upstairs bedrooms for myself while my cousin only has 1 (the master). Even though the bedrooms are smaller, it might look like I’m taking more than my fair share of space and being inflexible about sharing.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nope, she’s just jealous.
What’s the the square footage of the master suite vs the bedrooms and loft?
If she wants to take one of your bedrooms, she should pay more rent. 🤷🏼♀️
NTA. You’re just keeping the fair setup you both agreed to, she’s the one trying to change the deal.
NTA – roommate is trying to renegotiate access and use of square footage without offering a compensation by recalculating the rent split
NTA she wants the master and the loft for herself while you get two small bedrooms to yourself? No way, not for equal rent.
NTA. But it sounds like this is not the kind of person you would want to live with.
NTA. This is always my suggestion: measure out the area of shared spaces vs individual spaces, then calculate rent based on that, and adjust for differences in quality (e.g. if one private room has more natural light and you both admire that feature, add a little rent for that room.) Then everyone gets exactly the space they want and pay fairly for it.
She had this planned from the beginning, so she could get the master suite. You got played.
NTA. You both agreed on the setup and now she’s going against it. You should just tell her that you’d happily just swap with her and she can have the 3 rooms if she declines just save yourself the drama later on by finding your own place and not living with her.
Nta. You had an agreement and she can’t change it now to favor herself. Unless she gives up the master she can’t have one of your rooms
I get the argument of the loft being shared space. But here’s one way to break it down.
Base rent for each of you for the shared space is the same then put a per room price on each one. So if she wants more space, she can pay more money.
Tell her she can have the whole upstairs and you’ll take the master or vice versa. That was the agreement and those are her choices.
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NTA. Your cousin is not going to stop until he has the master suite, the loft, and all but one of the bedrooms where you will have to make room in the closet for their stuff.
You need to set a firm boundary. I doubt this will end well.
Nta,
Stop letting people mistreat you. No, she doesn’t get everything she wants. Also, she is testing to see how far she can push before you put a stop to it. If you resist, then give in. Guess what you’re teaching her? That she can push, you will resist, but then you give in & she wins every time. Either you get the upstairs or you don’t move in with her. Don’t be a little B, even when it comes to friends & family.
INFO if you’re planning on using one of the rooms for storage why can’t you both use it for storage?
I would find a new roommate. This screams misery from day one. She gives spoiled brat vibes and if she isn’t happy, no one will be happy.
Keeping the peace = you giving in to her demands which doesn’t benefit. Don’t let her walk over for sake of peace because she will keep asking for more.
NTA. You two had an agreement. She proposed a change that you didn’t like, so you two can keep the original agreement.
So you agreed on a 50:50 split based on you having the 3 rooms upstairs. If she now wants one of those rooms, simply point out the original agreement and say that she can have one of the rooms for a third of your rent, i.e. $400, bringing her rent up to $1600 and yours down to $800.
So, looking at the link, the large bedroom and one smaller bedroom + bath gives you about the same square footage as the master bedroom. No walk-in closet, but about the same linear storage space. The upstairs bath is slightly smaller, but not significantly, and most of that space is a hallway to the closet. Same amount of counter space. You have about 1/3 more square footage than she does for private space.
Content creation is not well-suited to open space. It would definitely be wiser to have it in an enclosed space – otherwise, the other person is going to need to be silent or closed up in their room making no noise while the other person is filming. You could even split the room so one person can film with one look and the other can film with a unique look.
I agreed until I looked at the floor plans. The cousin is right – you’re getting a much better deal here. You can keep the closet in the content room for storage, and that will give you much more storage space than she’s getting with her walk-in closet.
People agreeing with OP, please look at the plans. If OP shares a small bedroom -closet, and the loft stays shared space, the footage of private space is now roughly equal. It’s a reasonable compromise. Cousin needs to back down on their demands too.
Quick overlay:
https://imgur.com/a/VEfgwLh
So if I understand this right,
you have a bit more space, and she has the better bathroom.
decent division.
I would give her 2 choices or trade or stop complaining.
NTA
Nothing like moving the goalposts midway through the game. Your cousin sounds like a spoiled, entitled piece of work. You may want to rethink living with them.
If you have not signed for it – don’t. Already she is moving the goalposts.
If not she has two choices. What was agreed or a swap. That is entirely fair.
NTA
NTA – When you made the agreement, she thought she was getting the better deal. She is only upset because you are using the upstairs in a way she didn’t envision.
NTA. Don’t move in. If she’s difficult in the beginning it’s a warning sign. Listen to the signs.
NTA she’s being greedy otherwise she’d be ok to switch. Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes the situation is that it’s either going to be an unreasonable person who’s upset or (general) you’re gonna be upset. Choose for her to be upset. She already agreed to this arrangement. Don’t accept unsolicited opinions from family. If they ignore you not wanting to discuss the issue and push for you to be flexible, ignore them or walk away.
>”what are you even gonna do with three rooms anyway?”
“I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I want” followed with a smile.
You didnt sign the lease yet did you? If so its gonna be a long year.
The best compromise might be you get 2 rooms upstairs and the loft and 3rd room are both shared space. Or give the cousin one of the rooms and you pay 1000 and she paid 1400 but im sure that won’t go over well.
I can all but guarantee youre going to hate living with this person
NTA. You can’t have the proposed shared room (assuming game room on the plan) as one of your 3 rooms, because the stairs open into it. If she took one of the 3 bedrooms, how would she even get to it without going through “your” room. Because it’s a thoroughfare, it can never be a private room belonging to either of you. The original plan is still the most sensible.
I assume you both use the great room and dining and kitchen in the first floor?
Put some kind of curtain or screen across the door from the “gameroom” to the rest of the upstairs to demarcate your space.
So why isn’t the lift a content space if it has a tv there? Because then one couldn’t create a video while the other was watching tv? I guess that makes sense. If you share the downstairs great room, why couldn’t the tv and couches go there?
If you can get out, do it. If you can’t you either stand firm or you’ll end up in the smallest room while still paying half. This won’t end well. NTA but being an asshole is the least of your problems
She sounds horrible.
Wait until she starts dating a guy with a kid, and he starts sleeping over, and they need one of the upstairs bedrooms for the kid. And before you know it they’re there all the time but not contributing anything.
First off–that’s a sweet setup y’all have. Second, I think you’re totally reasonable in this. NTA. Stick to your boundaries.
NTA. If that is what she agreed to then it’s not right to change the deal after the fact. If you want to compromise I would give her two options. One, she can pay more than 50% of the rent if she wants more space. Two, the third room is a shared room but not the TV room.
What’s the square footage of the rooms?
In terms of square footage, she is now realizing that she made a bad deal. Would it really be so terrible if you shared the loft AND one of the upstairs bedrooms? You would still have two rooms and you could both put things in the others. What’s the big deal?
Assert your needs and space it equally!
NTA. But I would rethink living there. She has shown her true colours.
NTA. Try splitting it by square footage.
Let one person divide the spaces. The other person gets to pick which one she wants. That’s kind of what you offered by letting her switch, but she can’t argue if she divided the spaces evenly.
NTA It’s two additional closets downstairs she can use for storage. Maybe the comprise is no TV in the loft bc it’s a living room downstairs where a TV can go.
No, you are NTA at all. You even offered to swap. Stand your ground.
NTA. She’s the one being greedy.
Also, while irrelevant to who is the asshole, I’m confused as to why the downstairs great room can’t also be where the television lives or why a wall of the 2 car garage can’t also be used for product storage.
If I were you, I’d decide exactly how much less you’re willing to pay if you just have two rooms. Then tell her you can either stick with the agreed upon split, back out of the living situation all together, or she can pay $X more to have both the master and a second room while you just get two rooms.
So, for example, a fair amount might be for her to pay $1600 and for you to pay $800 (only if you agree the $400 a month savings is worth it to you).
If you do go that route, make sure you get the bedroom with the walk in closet (really all the upstairs closets) and 1/2 the loft for your own storage.
There is one issue of trying to change rules after making the deal, but the question on fairness is whether the master suite is worth three bedrooms or two. Maybe it would be fair to use one of the three bedrooms for some shared purpose, although the loft should have a TV.
NTA. Don’t sign a lease if you haven’t yet. This is only the beginning of your problems. If you want to stay friends with your cousin, don’t move in with them. They’re already showing they’re not going to be a good roommate.
Info: what’s the square footage of your 3 rooms + bathroom vs her bedroom+bathroom+closet? I think it sounds reasonable since she doesn’t want to swap, but if you get twice the amount of space idk that it’s necessarily a perfect split.
I don’t even know who’s the AH here. I just can’t even wrap my head around having that much space. I remember being 25 and renting this little house with a friend. Had one bathroom. No such thing as a walk in closet, or home office, or whatever a content room is. Just 2 tiny bedrooms, a tiny kitchen and living room. (Boy we had a blast!).
So I guess I can’t put AH on either of you. Just can’t relate!
NTA. Think hard about this. If you move in with her, it looks like you will truly regret it.
You two came to an agreement. Suddenly she wants to change it in her favor. Your offer to swap and her refusal shows that she doesn’t really believe your space is better than hers. She’s greedily just trying to take more at your expense. All this “move the goalposts” behavior won’t change once you’ve moved in together.
Don’t ignore the red flags. You really don’t need this kind of day to day pressure.
NTA, don’t move in with her. She’s already trying to change the agreement.
NTA. If you wanted to be nice you could offer some closet space in one of the rooms for her products but not necessary.